10 Little Reminders When You Feel Like You’re Losing Your Battle With Anxiety

1. You are not and will never be alone.

Maybe your family is far away. Maybe you’re living on your own. Maybe you truly do feel like no one is with you and no one hears you. You’re wrong. I’m here. I’m listening.

2. Your life isn’t nearly as bad as your anxiety is.

Your anxiety has a nasty habit of giving you a heightened sense of panic. It’s just a bad few minutes. Find an empty room, a bathroom stall, a closet–it doesn’t have to be pretty. Just find one, and take a moment to breathe, and you’ll realize that life isn’t nearly as bad as it feels right now.

3. Every tiny victory is one you can use to help someone else.

There’s one thing I always told myself when I was having a rough day, and that was this: every tiny victory, no matter how small it is, is a chance to help someone else. I’ve been on the edge, and I’ll take every opportunity to talk the next person off it.

4. There’s always someone to talk to. You get have to raise your head and take a look around.

There’s always someone there. For me, it was the one lonely star outside my window. I could see it just peek out from behind the trees every night. It was what I talked to. It was always there. You’ll get there too. You’ll find someone that understands, and you’ll realize that they are just a phone call away.

5. Realize the world is so big and there are so many things left for you to do.

You will survive this day. You will go on to do all the great things that I know you can do. You will make it. I know it.

6. The rest of the world doesn’t see your crippling anxiety, they see your beautiful smile.

You’re going to have to learn to show it more often. It sure is beautiful.

7. You always somehow end up surviving.

Funny how that works. Even when you feel like you’re going to die, even when you’ve given all you can give, even when you’re so close to breaking that you can see the fault lines–we always somehow survive.

8. You are so much more than just your anxiety.

You are a sister or brother, a daughter or son, a friend, a mentor. You are somebody’s everything. Someone wakes up every morning thanking God you’re in their life. Keep it that way.

9. Don’t let it label you.

You aren’t simply what your anxiety tells you to be. You are better than it. You can overcome it. You can be so much more than just a list of symptoms. You just have to believe in yourself.

10. Don’t go. You have so much left to teach us.

This world needs you. It’s not your time just yet.

You Are Better Than Your Worst Days, You Are Stronger Than Your Weakest Moments

Stop sitting up at night, replaying all of your awkward moments in your head. Stop thinking about the ways you have screwed up in the past. Stop selling yourself short, because you are better than your worst days.

Everyone has said things they aren’t proud of saying. Everyone has done things they wish they could erase from their mind. Everyone has regrets about what they have done and what they have failed to do.

You can’t let your worst moments define you. Failing once does not mean you are going to fail every other time you put yourself out there. It does not mean you should give up and go home.

If one person rejects you, that does not mean you should stop dating forever. If one boss fires you, that does not mean you should stop working forever. It does not mean you should throw up your hands and say you tried your hardest but it wasn’t good enough. You have to dust yourself off and take another shot.

You can’t let your doubts stall you. You can’t hide yourself away in your bedroom because you’re worried about history repeating itself.

Whenever something goes wrong, you have to try again. You have to give it another go. You have to work your ass off to get where you want to end up.

Don’t let one bad experience convince you to give up on yourself. Don’t let your insecurities chew away your desire to chase your dreams. 

You have to keep in mind that you are better than your worst days. You are stronger than you will ever admit to yourself. You might not see how powerful you are, but ask one of your friends and see what they have to say. They are sure to raise your spirits, raise your hopes, and raise your expectations for yourself.

You are doing better than you give yourself credit for, so stop hating yourself when you should be loving yourself.

You are strong, even when you break down in tears. You are beautiful, even when you feel too gross to leave the house. You are going to make something of yourself, even though you feel like you keep screwing up every opportunity that comes your way.

One day, everything will fall into place. Not because the universe owes you something. Because you are going to work your ass off until it happens.

You have the courage. You have the dedication. You just can’t give up on yourself, even when you are tempted to stop trying.

No matter how hard life becomes, stop acting like the world is against you, because the world is in the palm of your hand. You can do whatever you set your heart on — it just won’t happen overnight. It takes time. Patience. Effort.

If you want something, you can get it. You can make it happen as long as you never forget that you are better than your worst days. You are stronger than your weakest moments. 

Embracing Your Passion Is The Key To Discovering Your Purpose

“You don’t find your passion, your passion has already found you — you just need to look inward to discover it.”

Our passions are those things that interest us and make our souls come alive when we take a risk and leap — with no other foreseeable landing or outcome in sight other than the enjoyment we get when we do what we love.

Sadly, most people give up the one thing that makes them come alive because of what others may think or out of the fear of not being able to support themselves while doing what they love — yet their passions are tied directly to who they are.

Embracing the things that you love is the gateway to self discovery — your passion is an extension of you that allows you to showcase the full expression of who you are to the world, in relation to your purpose.

Fear is also often tied to embracing our passions because it goes against everything that society, our friends and our families taught us about how to survive in a world where only the “beautiful” and “talented” can support themselves by doing what they love.

But this just isn’t true.

Our passions make us feel the way they do because they’re in direct alignment with our purpose.

Upon discovering your passion, own the fact that it’s apart of your identity and what makes you, you — don’t be shy about it, either. Don’t worry about the people that will misunderstand you because most people don’t even understand themselves — which is why they spend their energy and time trying to convince you that you don’t understand “you” either.

The only person that your passion has to make sense to is you, and trying to make someone understand why you’re doing what you love will only take your magic away.

The people who stand out when they finally find their niche in life through embracing their passions are the ones who are unapologetic about what they love to do — because they know that the thing that makes their soul come alive is the wings they were given to fly.

Hold On Babe —You’re Worth It

The struggle can be real…so real that you can’t stand it. So real that you can’t stand up because you feel stuck. Stuck in depression, desperation, despair. I want you to know, it’s NOT in your head. It doesn’t define you. You can and will move forward.

Give yourself the grace and mercy to feel what you’re feeling. The pain you’ve felt is not a mere story you tell yourself. It’s easy for others to dismiss it as such but you know what you feel isn’t just a story. It consumes you like a hungry fire, searching for oxygen, enveloping you in the pain of living. On these days, living, breathing, simple tasks like opening your eyes, can be difficult and doesn’t seem worth it. I know that feeling. I’ve been in that space. You are not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you can’t feel this hurt. But allow yourself to have the hope that you can rise again from this.

It’s not easy to hold on to hope when you feel your life slipping from your grasp. But dig your nails in and swing from its ledge. It will not crumble and let you fall. Hold on to the belief that things can change. That they WILL change. Whether you believe in something higher than yourself (God, the Universe, a Creator of some sort, etc), or whether you simply believe in yourself, hold on to that belief that you are worthy of being saved. Even if the only one to save you is yourself. Even in the darkness, where it’s hardest to believe this, when it’s hardest to believe because the pain is so thick, I beg you to hold on anyway because you are worth the effort. You are worth fighting for.

I hope you know that your space in this world matters. If you don’t believe anything else, know that. You are worthy simply because you are here. You are the personification of unabashed effort, faith and love. You can get through the darkest of hours to reach your clearing where peace resides. A peace that not only surpasses all understanding, but can replace the pain that you have felt for so long that you don’t know that there’s another, better way. Know that you are worth holding on to and for. You are worth the time you need to take for your mercy, grace, sanity…you are worth having the time you need to see your worthiness. And you are worth the journey it takes to get to your peace.

On your darkest days…in your darkest hours…hold on my dear. Your time is coming.

Find The Beauty In Your Breakdown

How much of life is about putting on a brave face and getting on with it? As human beings, we master the art of “keeping going” very young. In time it becomes more and more natural for us to surrender to the demands of society and adulthood, because that is simply just what we do. It’s what we’ve always done. It’s how we survive. We keep on keeping on- for our bosses, our parents, our partners, and ourselves.

However, the brain is not designed to sustain this constant state of “go”. The conscious mind is so reluctant to discomfort that we begin to suppress, avoid, and/or ignore things that we shouldn’t to protect the flow of our daily routines. These seemingly little things we tuck away will continue to snowball over time, until eventually, all of those pent-up emotions and frustrations can no longer be contained. We break, and it feels like the ultimate calamity. This spontaneous combustion may leave us unable to get out of bed, or it may influence us to partake in risky/reckless behaviors. Regardless of how a “breakdown” may present itself, it is important to recognize that it is actually just an inarticulate bid for health. It is not the end of the world as it seems, but rather an extreme attempt by one part of our minds to force the other into a process of growth, self-understanding, and self-development.

So I am urging you to listen. Embrace those feelings of hopelessness, but rather than letting them consume you, dissect their cause. Remind yourself they are temporary; your brain has just exhausted its ability to choose one conscious thought over another. It is craving relief that only you can provide by making those necessary changes that once seemed so inconvenient. Prioritize yourself. Slow down. Cut ties with the people and the things in your life that are causing unnecessary stress. Have those hard conversations you’ve been putting off for so long. Make sure you are allowing your body and your mind enough time to rest, and fuelling them with the proper nutrients to promote maximum functionality. Ask for help. The reason we break, is because we choose not to flex.

Acknowledge your struggles, and adapt accordingly. The beauty in your breakdown will be the breakthrough that follows.

9 Little Dos And Don’ts For Living With Anxiety

At 23-years-old, I have now only just started to live my life for the very first time. Everything before was such a blur. Every sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste was only something I had heard of. Every experience was mediocre. Life was bland. There was no substance. There was no sense.

It’s hard to put these feelings into words, but I will try. The best way I can describe anxiety is going through each day feeling as if you’re underwater. Nothing is clear. All of your senses lack functioning. You’re overstimulated, and the only thing you can do is shut down. There have been soo many endless days of crying. It became my outlet. I allowed myself to feel, to be vulnerable.

Anxiety is something that is all too familiar to me. Since the age of six, it has haunted me. It has controlled me, and it has torn me down more than once. It didn’t come alone though. It came hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly, with depression.

Depression. You know that rainy day that feels like it’s never going to end? Your mood is sad. You’re exhausted. You can’t get out of bed? It’s like that, only times 1,000! It’s not just one day, two days, or even three. Sometimes, it lasts for months, sometimes years. You start to become a sucky person, flaky, insensitive and just overall a buzz kill. Not yourself.

From ages six to 23, until the day I hit rock bottom and had no other choice but up, anxiety robbed me of my freedom. I’ve been to dark places. Imagine if you must. Never physically hurting myself, but I’ve sunk into a few deep black holes where scary thoughts laughed at me while I wept.

Anxiety disorders are extremely debilitating. No, I couldn’t just stop worrying. No, I couldn’t just relax or just breathe. I couldn’t just get over it. Trust me, I wish I could, but I couldn’t.

This is one of my many but not my last attempt at describing anxiety. My mission is to educate those who are dealing with it and who have loved ones who struggle with it. There is help, and there is hope. I’m so thankful this experience has allowed me to turn my mess into a message.

Here’s what I have learned to be the do’s and don’ts of anxiety:

1. Do speak to someone! 

Anyone, a friend, a therapist, your significant other, or even me!

2. Don’t think it’ll just pass on its own. 

Sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves, thinking we can fix everything. It’s OK to ask for some help every now and again.

3. Do everything possible to try to stay positive. 

Show gratitude. Show compassion. Surround yourself with loved ones. Journal. Meditate. Anything can create even the slightest glimmer of hope!

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. 

Not on Facebook. Not on Instagram. Not in the magazines. Not in real life. Trust me! If everyone threw their problems into a pile, then you would act fast to grab yours right back. Just saying…

5. Do redirect your thoughts.

Distract yourself. As soon as a negative thought attacks, be prepared. Think happy. Like I said, anything is better than nothing when it comes to overcoming adversities. I have had my fair share of struggles that I honestly came to breaking point at one point so trust me when I say that I honestly was ready to do anything and everything to regain my life!

6. Don’t forget: Out of your vulnerabilities, will come your strength.

7. Do what feels good to YOU. 

8. Don’t be embarrassed to see a therapist. 

Here are a few sentences from a book I recently read and really found helpful when I was going through my funk: “No study has ever suggested that people in therapy are, on average, more troubled or demoralized than people who are not in therapy. Rather, they tend to be distinguished by the fact that they have chosen to confront the problems of poor self-esteem and inadequate contact with the self. They, thereby, offer us an opportunity to learn of a great deal about the psychological condition of the general population.”

9. Don’t forget to simply just be.

Be self-aware. Be present. Be yourself. 

When You Learn To Accept Your Flaws, You Thrive

When you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to be happy with who you are now until you get to where you want to be. You don’t compare yourself to those ahead of you and feel insecure about yourself and your accomplishments.

You don’t look at accepting your flaws as complacency or lack of ambition, you look at it as compassion and self-love; knowing you’ll never be perfect, you’ll never look a certain way and you’ll never entirely love everything about yourself but that won’t stop you from embracing your flaws. Learning to love what you can’t change. Feeling good enough and knowing your worth instead of looking at yourself through the eyes of others.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you’re not susceptible to people’s judgments, words or opinions of you. No one can shame you or hold them against you. You embrace the fact that you’re human and you’re learning and you still have a long way to go.

The beauty of learning to accept your flaws is that it takes away the pressure to impress people or always trying to measure up to someone.

When you learn to accept your flaws you attract people who accept them too. You find people who don’t make you feel like you need to change who you are. You find people who appreciate the fact that you’re a little weird, a little eccentric, a little messy, a little bizarre but they love you anyway.

When you learn to accept your flaws instead of picking at them and magnifying them, you create a healthy environment for yourself, you begin to nurture yourself in all the right ways, you become stronger, more resilient and more confident and you begin to understand that even with your flaws, you’re still beautiful and even with your flaws, you’re still loved.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to fight your own battles and win and you learn how to shield yourself from unnecessary wars.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you won’t ever live questioning if you’re good enough for others as long as you feel good enough for yourself.