Read This If You’re Scared Of Starting Over

Do not fear moving forward in the direction of your happiness. Plant your feet in the soil of adoration and stability. Be watered by those who appreciate both your petals and your thorns. May life’s simple pleasures become your joy. May your soul be filled with peace and laughter.

Do not fear love. Open your heart to new and endless possibilities. Be nurtured back to wholeness and celebrated for just being. Be reminded that there are no hoops that you have to jump through, no tests are necessary to prove your worthiness. For you are enough as is, star. Accept the complicity and the uniqueness that is you.

Do not be afraid to succeed. To have your gifts make room for you and have your talents expand. May the world be moved by every tremble in your voice, stroke of your paintbrush, word that you write and note that you play. May your activism invoke ancestors to help create new worlds, and may your teachings awake a sleeping nation.

Do not be afraid of your truth. Shed old skin until you are you again, and then… again. Proclaim loudly, “This is who I am and this is who I am not!” Stand in it unapologetically. Do not shrink in the faces of those who have yet to accept themselves. You will be their example. May you continue to evolve, learn, grow and love every part of you. Find balance between the dark and light, for the truth is always somewhere in the middle.

Gather your things, love. A new world awaits the fearless. There is no shame in starting over and no growth in comfort. Change is here and ready for your embrace. The past now has no place. You’ve been here many times before and survived the worst. It is time for your reward.

How To Tap Into Your Higher Consciousness

The term “Higher Consciousness” has been thrown around a lot recently. With the influx of spiritual teachers and coaches, this term has been becoming mainstream, and for good reason. With so much going on in the world, I think all of us are looking for meaning in our life.

I have studied self-development for years and read every book on the topic available. But it wasn’t clicking for me. I was trying to follow certain rules or force myself into spirituality because I wanted to be perfect at it. Who else is a recovering perfectionist?

It wasn’t until my life got turned upside down that I understood what spirituality actually meant and what attaining Higher Consciousness could look like in my own life. I realized it was so simple that I could throw away all the supposed “rules” I was placing on myself.

Now I want to pass this message on to you. I know that so many of us suffer from loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc. But the real reason humans are here is to enjoy life through exploration and love. Even if you can tap into this feeling of higher consciousness for a brief moment, you’ll realize just how impactful it is to your mental health. 

Let’s first discuss what Higher Consciousness is not:

Believing that you are better than people.

Using spirituality for your own ego or self-image.

Thinking you need to go live in a monastery for the rest of your life.

Buying into the idea that you need to have a perfect daily routine to be spiritual.

Reading too many self-help books but not actually implementing the lessons.

Having to be from a certain religion to believe in it.

The beauty of Higher Consciousness is that any human on this planet can reach it. If you desire to tap into this higher energy and feel more fulfilled in life, you absolutely can. 

Here’s what Higher Consciousness means:

Knowing that material things don’t bring genuine happiness.

Being grateful for life every single day.

Pursuing the people, events, and hobbies that bring you love and fulfillment.

Acknowledging that there may be tough moments in life, but the good ones always follow.

Seeing love in all the people and nature you interact with.

Believing in yourself and your purpose for life.

When you’re tapped into this higher consciousness, life just feels sweeter. It’s like you’re experiencing life on volume 10. The trivial day to day happenings don’t affect you as much. However scary the news is, you still will do everything in your power to live a life you love.

Of course, life will still throw curve balls at you and things may not go your way. No human on this planet can escape the unexpected. But when you’re tapped into this higher energy, you fully trust that life will work itself out. That the good times will come back around and that there’s lessons to be learned in the tough seasons. 

Now you’re probably wondering, this all sounds great, but how do I actually achieve it? Well, there’s endless possibilities. The way to achieve it is just doing the things that make you feel more alive and more aligned with this state. But here are some ideas to get you started!

Ways to tap into Higher Consciousness:

Follow your passions and the things that excite you.

Start noticing the coincidences in your life and know that nothing is by chance.

Stop placing worth in your salary, cars, house, and other material things.

Deepen your relationships with the people in your life that you care about.

Don’t get caught up in the daily drama with other people or events.

Stop caring what other people think of you—their opinions won’t matter in a year from now.

When you get into a Higher Consciousness and notice just how amazing life truly is, your relationships will improve significantly. You will be happier and not fazed by small inconveniences. 

But most importantly, your relationship to self will grow stronger everyday. You will be confident of your life’s purpose and you’ll make the most of the limited time you have here on Earth.

Are you ready to attain a Higher Consciousness?

When You Start Over, You Have A Chance To Write A Better Story

I remember when starting over felt like the heaviest burden in the world. An experience to dread. Something that made me feel like a failure sometimes, like I couldn’t get it right the first time around. It made me feel like I was losing my stability until I realized that starting over is one of the most liberating experiences ever. It’s sometimes essential. It’s sometimes what you don’t know you need. It’s sometimes the only way to move forward because when you start over, you have a chance to write a better story. 

Your new life will cost you your old one; your new dreams and plans will force you to let go of your past and the things that didn’t work out for you. It will force you to release all that wasn’t serving you. Your new life will cost you old friends and meaningless attachments but it will reward you with the things that you actually desire. The things you were scared of doing. The people you were intimidated by. The risks you were too afraid to take.

Starting over means being brave enough to say goodbye to so many things and so many people because you’re choosing yourself instead of bending over backwards to please others. Starting over means living the life you were meant to live instead of following someone else’s dream or path. Starting over means you’re no longer stuck because you’re not afraid of changing everything around you for a better life. 

Starting over means building a stronger foundation because now you have experience, now you know what makes something stand tall and what makes it fall apart. Starting over means writing a new story because now you’re wiser and you actually have something to say. You have an ending to look forward to and you know who you need in your story and who doesn’t really have a role anymore. Starting over means allowing yourself to be reborn again in the same lifetime, it means seeing life from a whole new angle and living the life you’ve always imagined. Starting over means you’re not giving up on yourself and you’re not settling either. It means you’re fighting for yourself and the life you were meant to live. 

So please don’t let anyone make you feel like starting over means you’ve failed, because the real failure is staying stuck in a place you hate, living a life that doesn’t excite you, or being with someone who doesn’t love you. The real failure is choosing to live in the same environment that broke you instead of going out and creating a whole new one. Starting over doesn’t mean burning bridges or losing everyone you love, it simply means you’re crossing that bridge and moving on with nothing but love for what you left behind, but you know you can’t take it with you anymore.

Starting over means trusting that new beginnings will eventually lead to better endings and that you are capable of taking your life in a whole new direction because as painful as it can be, sometimes letting go of who you used to be and the life you used to live, can bring about the best experiences and the happiest of endings. 

Reminder: Everything Will Eventually Work Out

Every problem in life has a solution.  Every problem in life can be dealt with. Every problem in life needs some time to be spoken about. And all it takes is the courage from within. All it takes is some resilience. 

We’re all human beings, and yes, we all might have the ego within us that probably holds us back from finding possible solutions to our problems. The ego within us that stops us from giving in a little to others. The ego within us that refuses to give people a chance to be heard.

Not everything in life sucks. Yes, sometimes things don’t happen the way we want it to be. Yes, sometimes things don’t happen when we want it to happen and that is okay. Things meant to be will eventually find their way back. All it takes is some time and effort. Time and time again, you need to remind yourself what you are capable of. You need to continue to persevere and you will eventually achieve what’s ideal for you and all that you’ve ever wanted. 

We’re all human beings and we’re incredibly resilient. We all have dealt with pain at least at one point of time in life and we all have recovered. That’s because of the strength that we have within us that pushes us further and we don’t give up easily. We may not have achieved what we dreamt of when we were all much younger, but we may have achieved something we never thought of.

Eventually, we all would do fine with what we are faced with.

At this moment, even if life does not seem to be that good, trust the universe that the happier days of your life are just ahead of you. Even if you don’t believe right now, trust me, things will get better. And that’s because eventually everything will work out.

Please Believe That In Time, You’ll Get Where You Need To Be

In time, you’ll get where you need to be. If you aren’t exactly where you want to be, there’s a lesson you’re still learning. This delay isn’t meant to be punishment or some type of twisted torture. No, it’s allowing you to build all the resources you need to propel your success. 

The truth is, you’re already moving in the direction you want to go. Just because the progress isn’t as fast as you’d like doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. 

You’re learning how to navigate life your own way. There is no blueprint on how to live your unique life. It’s never been done before. You can have all the mentors and guidance in the world, but they aren’t you. Your mentors give you advice based on their lived experiences. You still have to decide how these recommendations fit into the context of your life. 

Please believe that in time, you’ll get where you need to be. So many of us give up when there’s any sign of struggle. Your setbacks do not mean you’re a failure. Your setbacks aren’t a sign to quit. Your setbacks do not mean you’re on a mistaken path. Your setbacks are not an indication that you’re the wrong person for the job. If you’re moving forward in five steps but take four steps backward, you are still moving forward. Do not quit. 

Changing your mind about how you show up is not quitting. Taking time to rest is not quitting. Choosing a different direction is not quitting. Changing your mind is not quitting. Having doubts and moments where you question if you should just pack up your bags and disappear is not quitting. Surrendering to the process is not quitting. 

Surrendering to the process gets you closer to where you need to be. The things that are meant for you will come easy. We think easy means that we aren’t required to put in work. We think that easy means a lack of conflict. No, easy means that despite setbacks, you choose the same purpose, goal, or person time and time again. The decision is easy, not always the process. And so often, we confuse the two. Other times we make the process much harder than it needs to be because we believe that we must struggle and suffer for what we want. What we truly want to know is “Am I worthy enough for this?” This is an act of self-sabotage.

The cure for self-sabotage is to take action. Messy action. Imperfect action. Any action. I know you have a desire and purpose in your heart that keeps you pushing forward. Don’t lose sight of this. Please believe that in time you’ll get where you want to be. 

9 Signs They’re Never Going To Respect Your Boundaries (And It’s Time To Let Go)

Giving all of yourself to a person sounds romantic, huh? That might work in a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie, but that kind of all-access pass could be hurting you in the long run. Having boundaries is a good thing. Things like your right to privacy or asking permission before physical touch can help you feel even more secure in your relationship. But what if your partner is always challenging your boundaries? This may be a sign they’re not respecting your needs. And, if they do these nine things, they probably never will.

1. You constantly have to remind them. So you’ve set a clear boundary. Great! Maybe you asked them to avoid texting you at work unless it’s an emergency. If you have to keep reminding them because they keep crossing the boundary, it shows a lack of respect for your wishes. A truly appreciative and loving partner/friend/family member doesn’t need to be reminded more than once or twice.

2. They consider it your responsibility if they cross your boundaries. Do you hear these things every time you remind them of your boundaries or get upset when they’re disrespected? “Well, you should have said something.” “You should have reminded me.” Relationships are a partnership they should be meeting you halfway. Plus, if you have to keep reminding them of the boundary, it defeats the whole purpose.

3. They question and second guess every boundary. You shouldn’t have to keep explaining why it’s important to you to have healthy boundaries. Having a debate every time you try to enforce a boundary is exhausting. They’re looking for loopholes, not ways to make you feel safer or more comfortable.

4. They think there are exceptions. The best boundaries are simple and firm. Yet your partner is always finding ways to break them. And when you call them on it, they come up with reasons why this time should be okay. “Because I missed you.” “Well, I didn’t think you meant it every time.” These are just clever ways to disrespect your boundaries disguised as misunderstandings.

5. They test your boundaries as a “joke.” If they disrespect your boundaries and you call them on it, they say they were just joking and you should “lighten up.” If a joke doesn’t make both parties laugh, it’s not a joke at all.

6. They joke about your boundaries with their friends. When you hang out in group settings, your partner will bring up your boundaries and laugh about how silly they think they are. Honestly, making fun of your relationship to their friends is a huge red flag no matter what it’s about.

7. They brag about not having any boundaries for themselves. When you bring up your boundaries, they make a big show of not having any. They might talk about how they’re an open book, making it sound like it’s a bad thing to have boundaries. Making you feel guilty for having reasonable and healthy boundaries is not a good sign.

8. They don’t seem to care that this is making or breaking your relationship. It can be agonizing to have your boundaries repeatedly disrespected. And yet, even with how upset you feel, they’re not changing. A caring partner or friend would care that you’re experiencing this turmoil.

9. They don’t believe there will be consequences. Why follow your boundaries if nothing bad will come of it if they don’t? Show them that’s not the case. It sounds like it might be time to let go of this toxic relationship.

If You Want Peace In Your Life, You Must Learn To Let Go

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go. 

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go of other people’s expectations. You must learn to focus on the values that matter most. Otherwise, you’ll become a shell of the person you once were. People will make demands on everything they think you should be—how you should dress, speak and behave—until you don’t recognize yourself. You must learn to let go because people are constantly projecting their ways of thinking onto your life instead of living their own. 

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go of trying to prove your worth by obsessively helping others. Give to others because of principle. Give to others because you want. Giving to others doesn’t mean they’ll automatically like or accept you. They might start to resent you for helping them, for trying to uplift them. Sometimes trying to build people up reminds them of how much they hate themselves, and in turn, they start to hate you. It’s not your fault. It’s not about you but has to do with everything with them. The truth is, we’re all looking for ways to find our worth. We’re all looking for ways to heal from the wounds of our past. We’re all struggling to forget the painful words that were said to us. We must learn to let go.

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go of constantly replaying how your life should have been. You cannot change the past. You can only shape your future by the choices you make today. Sometimes we stay stuck in the past because we won’t allow ourselves to grieve. Instead, we deny our pain. We ruminate about our heartbreak.

We relive our pain because it also means we relive the good memories. Sometimes holding on is the only hope we have left.Letting go means we don’t know what to do with ourselves. We’re afraid we might plunge into a never-ending spiral of depression or, worse yet, have to live with our current circumstances. 

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go of obsessing about what your life will be like. There’s a difference between making decisions now that best direct your future and working up nervous energy trying to control the outcome of your future. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We can plan for the future but must live life day by day. 

How do you know the difference between worrying about your future and planning for it? Ask yourself, “Do I have a realistic goal?” “Am I taking practical steps to achieve it?” “Do I recognize and acknowledge when steps towards my goal aren’t working and I need to readjust?” “Am I giving myself grace and compassion along the way?” “What will I accomplish when I reach my goal? What am I really searching for?” Planning for your future is taking practical steps towards a set goal. Worrying about your future is having thoughts about what might happen without taking any steps to get there. 

If you want peace in your life, you must learn to let go of unhealthy relationships. You know, the relationships that are one-sided. The relationships that are full of manipulation, the relationships that lack consistency, respect, and have minimal communication. Let go of the relationships where you’re invalidated, physically and emotionally abused, and your needs are consistently neglected. Let go of the relationships where you’re walking on eggshells and being controlled. The relationships you’re holding on to but secretly dread being around. 

How do you really know when it’s time to let go of your relationship? When you’ve had conversations about issues and there’s no change or resolution. When you’re in threat of danger. When your vision, life goals, values, and habits no longer align. When the relationship starts to take a negative toll on your mental health, leading to depression or thoughts of suicide.

Letting go of one life chapter allows you to say yes to the next. I know you can’t see it now, but letting go of the things you can’t control is a gift. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned the memory of someone you love or your positive experiences. Letting go is not a form of betrayal. Letting go is not a loss. Letting go doesn’t mean that you’re weak. Letting go is not giving up.

On the contrary, letting go is the ultimate surrender. Letting go is an act of courage. Letting go is accepting what already is. Letting go is making room for more. Letting go allows you to grieve fully, with support, and not isolate yourself in your pain. Letting go is allowing people to be where they want to be. Letting go is making room for new possibilities. Letting go recognizes that you can remember the memories of the person you love yet move towards healing.

How do you let go?

1. Acknowledge the loss. Allow yourself to sit in the confusion of the belief and disbelief that loss has happened to you. Allow your brain to adjust to your loss being real and tangible.

2. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to grieve, be angry at the world, be sad, take comfort in your pain for a period of time, and tumble through your emotions.

 3. Allow yourself to be okay with not knowing what’s next. It’s okay to feel numb. It’s okay to feel afraid about the future. It’s okay to ask yourself the questions, “Will I ever get over this?” “Will I make it?” “How will I make it?” “Will I ever feel happy again?” You’ll have many thoughts, some even disturbing, but do not believe them. Challenge them, and when you don’t know all the answers hold on to hope. 

4. Give yourself time to heal. Healing is a process; the more significant the loss, the longer you will take to heal. There is no time limit or blueprint on what your healing should look like. Give yourself time to recover because you need it.

 5. Be compassionate with yourself. This is the time to be gentle with yourself. Speak kind words, and use a soft tone. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Do not blame yourself or ruminate about everything you should have done. This is a time to allow more ease and self-care. 

If you want more peace in your life, you must learn to let go. Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is not a failure or dishonoring the memory of what was. Letting go is about you. Letting go is about surrendering and allowing more peace in your life.

10 Meaningful Ways To Cultivate Simplicity In Your Life

In a culture of more, better, faster, and stronger, resist the temptation to perpetually add. When we are overwhelmed with choices and responsibilities and busyness, we lose ourselves for the sake of someone else’s dream. Take time to return to your roots and learn about yourself, who you are, what you value, and what matters most. When that vision is clear, it will pave the way for a more purposeful and intentional life that is yours to create. To dim the noise of the outside world and allow yourself room to grow, consider these 10 meaningful ways to cultivate simplicity in your life today.

1. Limit time on social media.

Set app limits, instill no-social days, set aside intentional time to go off the grid. This is the absolute best way to bring inner peace and allow self-growth; by focusing on others, it’s impossible to improve oneself.

2. Make a love list.

Take a few moments to sit down and write out things that bring joy. We are so often caught up in our day-to-day that we lose a sense of what we truly like to spend our time doing. Keep this list as a way to fill your time instead of going online.

3. Reset your space.

Be it your office desk, your closet, or your kitchen drawers, spend an afternoon clearing the clutter. Our environments deeply affect our ability to think and work. Allow yourself to let go of things that have no purpose.

4. Get creative.

Everyone can be creative, albeit in different iterations. Journal, write, draw, paint, or just let your imagination run wild without any external stimuli. Creativity can be anything, as long as you are mindfully making.

5. Utilize time blocking.

Each day, schedule in what has to be done: work, chores, exercise, cooking, rest. When each activity’s time block happens, cut out all external distractions and focus on the task at hand.

6. Take a walk.

There is nothing more soul-filling than getting outside and detaching from reality for half an hour. Listen to a podcast, turn up the music, or simply take in the outside world in its own melody. It’s a universal cure.

7. Do something with your hands.

Take up a craft, paint, draw, build something, clean. There is something inherently satisfying about manual labor or creating something physical. This kind of hands-on work helps to ground our wandering minds.

8. Create routines.

Choose key parts of your day, like getting ready in the morning, cooking a meal, or winding down at night to build routines that work. While it takes a bit of effort on the front end to instill, routines are a surefire way to eliminate decisions in your daily schedule.

9. Make time for laughter.

Spend time catching up with a partner or friend, watch something joyful, be mindful of the amusing moments of the human experience. Be quick to laugh at the small inconveniences that life presents. It smooths the edges of a rough day.

10. Meditate.

There is, perhaps, no better way to return to the simple than to simply sit and be. Taking on the practice of mindfulness through guided or solo meditation will invite stillness into even the busiest of days.

In all these things, the purpose is to return to a sense of who you are at your core. Allow the complexities of modern life to simplify as making the choice to eliminate distractedness and hustle and adopting joy and calmness bring a new sense of wonder and knowing of the self. When we create space in our physical and spiritual beings, we have new room to grow and new opportunities to become more fully ourselves.

How To Change Your Life (Without Burning Out)

When you want to change on a bigger level, I’ve found that starting small tends to allow for those massive changes to accrue over time. 

When you want to change the way you think, one small reframe a day can make all the difference. Shifting our outlook on the world isn’t an overnight miracle, it’s learning to find enough presence throughout the day to recognize the thought patterns that continually arise. Awareness allows us to then make a conscious choice to decide if those thoughts are ones we wish to keep or if there are new stories we might want to begin telling ourselves. It is in the moments of recognizing and reframing that we find what’s buried within and begin to unearth it.

When you want to change how you feel, you make a choice to feel what is happening within your body for a short time. You make a decision to sit in the discomfort and allow the judgment to dissipate in order to simply feel what’s coming up. The more you can allow yourself to feel what’s happening and rid yourself of the shame around any particular feelings, the more you’re able to sit in an emotion, process and feel it, then respond, instead of solely reacting to what is happening under the surface.

When you want to change your life, you make one small shift a day. You sustain that shift and then build onto it with new practices that morph your life into one you’ve consciously built by choice. Sustaining the first habit gives you the self-trust and confidence to branch out further from your safety zone and push yourself to new heights.

Change is not a race, though we often think it is. It isn’t hustling until you burn out. It’s allowing yourself to slowly let go of what once was and make room for so much more. When you let go of what isn’t working and slowly incorporate new changes, you may just look back and realize that the snowball effect of simultaneously letting go and bringing in at a steady pace has led to a brighter life than you could have imagined not so long ago.

Become So Sure Of Yourself That No One Else Can Invalidate You

Become so sure of yourself that no one else can invalidate you. Become so self-aware that criticism or misjudgments do not affect you anymore. Protect yourself from anyone who is trying to make you feel like you don’t matter. Work on becoming the person people just can’t break. The person people give up on because they can’t really manipulate. 

Become so sure of yourself that when someone disappoints you or hurts you, you don’t take it personally. You don’t make it about yourself. You don’t automatically assume that it’s your fault. Be kinder and more loving to yourself so that even when people don’t show you that, you don’t think of yourself any less. You don’t crawl back into your shell because you don’t feel loved or appreciated. You show up for yourself even more. You show the world who you really are. You don’t care who sees your value or who doesn’t because you do, and trust me, if you feel good about yourself and if you exude an energy of confidence and dignity, people will see it and they will not be able to get away with hurting you. 

Become so sure of yourself that when people try to manipulate you, you don’t fall for it. You don’t let it go and pretend like you don’t understand what’s going on. Become unafraid of confronting people and setting boundaries. Become unafraid of asking for respect or honesty or answers. Become the person who wants to be chosen not just when it’s convenient, but chosen every day. You did not come this far to give up on yourself. You do not have to question or doubt yourself as soon as someone puts you down or makes you feel undeserving of love, success, happiness, or whatever they deem you unfit for.

Become so sure of yourself that when someone tries to demolish what you’ve been trying to build or what you’ve been working on, they end up hitting a brick wall. Create a safe space for yourself that no one can infiltrate. Protect yourself from anyone who tries to tell you that you’re not capable of doing something, because trust me, people can paralyze you and ruin your life if you become an easy target for their expectations and their words. They have the power to make you change your mind just so you can avoid their drama or confrontation. They have the power to stop you from doing something you love or taking a big risk just because they can’t do it themselves. 

Become so unflustered that people no longer have any kind of power over you.