Transforming Your Pain into Power and Purpose

I believe that every single one of us has a unique gift and task that we came here to accomplish.

When you move inward and make the deliberate decision to heal in mind, body and spirit, you create space in your conscious mind to discover what this is. Your life experiences are the puzzle pieces leading you to a higher path. Unfortunately, for many of us, these pieces will go unnoticed because of the powerful distractions our ego-mind has found comfort in.

Most of us consciously and unconsciously choose to avoid pain. We try to drown it out with any distraction we can; scrolling through social media, snacking, binge-watching Netflix, gossiping or using drugs and alcohol to escape the “mundane-reality” of day to day life.

Others find comfort within the pain and continue to reopen their wounds over and over again without ever truly going deep enough to heal them. They tell the same heartbreaking story again and again because their pain has taken over their ego identity. Instead of using the pain as a stepping stone to improve their life, they have allowed it to define their place in the world. Rather than transforming their pain into purpose, they have allowed their purpose in life to be their pain.

Underneath the pain you are carrying is the key to this deeper understanding of your soul. Within you, you hold all the wisdom, power, and clarity you need to move into your higher path and purpose.

What kind of pain are you transforming?

Pain from your childhood, heartbreak, abandonment, loneliness, longing? 

While your pain is unique to you, we are all one, and we all hurt. Every human being suffers; it is a critical component of our human experience. The good news is, we all have the power within us to transform any suffering, pain, and fear into the powerful energy of healing and love. This is the energy that supports you in receiving all of the goodness you’ve been calling into your life.

Collectively, I believe our goal is to raise the vibrations and consciousness of humanity. In other words – to change the world.

We do this by transforming our pain individually. This then allows us to become a leading light to help spark the fire of change in others.

Pain is your teacher and holds a great purpose. You must be willing to face the discomfort. Feel the pain, and learn the lessons you are meant to learn to discover the gifts hidden within them. Every painful experience you overcome is an opportunity to transform. You can shift the low vibrational, dense energy into the higher vibrations of love, abundance, peace, and freedom.

Our ego often leads us to believe that no one else can understand our pain. It convinces us that we are alone in our suffering.

This type of thinking allows pain to create a further disconnect between us.

The truth is, our suffering has the potential to bring us closer together as one. Through overcoming challenges, we have an opportunity to move towards a more collective state of consciousness. When you make the conscious choice to heal from the past and learn from your pain, you expand in your capacity to empathize, love and have compassion for others. You’re now able to understand the heartbreak someone else could be feeling because you have fully endured it yourself. You can now put yourself in the shoes of their experience, and see beyond yourself, beyond your suffering. Knowing that healing is possible, you can now help another person by inspiring them with what is possible when you turn your pain into power.

Whatever your experiences have been, and whatever your suffering, please know that you are not alone. Your pain is serving a powerful purpose. This was all part of your plan. You are strong enough to overcome it, but it takes patience and courage to face the darkness and transform it into light.

For many of us, this initial sadness stems from childhood, a time when we were too small to deal with our hurt. Because of this, we have become so good at avoiding and covering up the pain that we’ve forgotten it even exists – but it is there. You carry it around with you everywhere you go, and it is not going to go away until you confront it.

There are many things you can do to support your mind, body and soul in this healing journey such as

Self Reflection & Healing Support Strategies 

Discovering who you are, beyond your thoughts, is a game-changer. When you begin to notice how many of your thoughts are fueled by negativity and fear, in an attempt to keep you “safe” from your pain, you’ll gain the strength and momentum you need to heal. The good news is that thoughts are just thoughts; they are not who you are. With awareness, compassion and kindness towards yourself, along with your healing, you can begin to change them.

Meditation & Mindfulness

Our minds are created to think and think and think, but sometimes we need to give it a little break to get the answers we’re looking for. Even just practicing mindfulness and meditation for two minutes a day can be life-changing. Try not to get caught up in the “I don’t know how to meditate” or “I can’t do it.” The purpose is not to stop your thoughts; it’s to become aware of them. You will do this by shifting your focus back to your breath over and over again, perhaps even hundreds of times in a single meditation.

Journaling

You can write about feeling stuck. Create a list of what you have to be grateful for. Or reflect on an experience from the past. Try not to overthink it; write whatever is coming through to you. There is no wrong way to journal.

Some questions you may want to reflect on to get you started;

“What is my ego-mind trying to protect me from?”

“When did I first start forgetting about my power?”

“What is the next best step I should take in my healing journey?”

Turning off Electronics

Simply unplugging from your phone and other electronic devices can help you quiet down the noise and distractions of the outside world to connect with your world within.

Inner Child Work

Many people are unaware that most of their pain and trauma stems from childhood. This is why working with and healing your inner child is so transformational. Quantum physics has proven that time is not linear, which means that you have the power to heal the child within you now, thus changing your current situation in more ways than you can imagine.

Recognize Your Ego-Comfort Distractions

Where does your ego run to when your feeling uncomfortable? Snacks, exes, drama, Instagram? As soon as you recognize your comfort coping strategies, you can begin to bring your pain into your conscious mind by getting curious as to what’s fuelling the escape.

Get Support With Healing

Healing is the ultimate tool for taking ownership of your life and transforming it for the better. It’s essential to recognize when it’s time to reach out for additional support. We’re all in this together to support one another on our journey. You are never alone.

Whatever happened in the past is in the past. All that we have right now is this moment, and it is at this moment that you can choose to create a new path for yourself in the future. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You’re not a slave to your mind. You are the creator of your reality, and you can choose to live whatever life you desire to live.

Transform your life from the inside out and create a life you LOVE.

With lots of love and healing vibes, 

Elle XO

You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay, You Know

Sometimes I am not okay and I used to think it was not okay to be that way. It’s okay to break down and cry. It’s okay to admit to yourself and to the world that you’re not okay. It’s okay to ask for help and to talk about your problems.

It is easy to put up a front telling people around you that you are fine when deep within yourself, you know you are not. It is easy to remain quiet and keep everything to yourself. But that means you’re hurting yourself more and that’s not okay.You’re the only person who actually knows what is going on in your own head and you should not be afraid of your own thoughts or about how you feel.

It’s okay to talk about your problems. It doesn’t make you weak. Yes, it makes you vulnerable, but it will make you stronger.

Sometimes all you would feel is that everything around you is crumbling. It sometimes feels as if you are hit by strong currents or on some days, it feels like you’re being hit by a tsunami. It feels like as if you are drowning. Sometimes it feels like everything around you is happening so fast and you are trying your best not to drown. Sometimes it would feel like your entire vision is clouded by a wrecked storm.

You’re human and it’s important to remember that. It’s important to remember that no matter how strong you are mentally, you’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to cry. But that doesn’t mean you should stay and be stuck in self-pity. Take your time to pick yourself up and glue back the broken pieces. Give yourself some time to heal.

It’s okay to voice out to someone. It’s okay to have days when you are not strong. It’s okay to be not okay. 

𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮, 𝓔𝓵𝓵𝓮

How to Fight Depression: 20 Things to Try

Small steps, big impact

Depression can drain your energy, leaving you feeling empty and fatigued. This can make it difficult to muster the strength or desire to even seek treatment let alone to think it.

However, there are small steps you can take to help you feel more in control and improve your overall sense of well-being.

Read on to learn how to incorporate these strategies in a way that makes sense for you.

1. Meet yourself where you are

Depression is common. It affects millions of people, including some in your life. You may not realize they face similar challenges, emotions, and obstacles.

Every day with Depression is different. It’s important to take your mental health seriously and accept that where you are right now isn’t where you’ll always be.

The key to self-treatment for depression is to be open, accepting, and loving toward yourself and what you’re going through.

2. If you need to wallow, wallow — but do so constructively

Suppressing your feelings and emotions may seem like a strategic way to cope with the negative symptoms of depression. But this technique is ultimately unhealthy.

If you’re having a down day, have it. Let yourself feel the emotions — but don’t stay there.

Consider writing or journaling about what you’re experiencing. Then, when the feelings lift, write about that, too.

Seeing the ebb and flow of depressive symptoms can be instructive for both self-healing and hope.

3. Know that today isn’t indicative of tomorrow

Today’s mood, emotions, or thoughts don’t belong to tomorrow.

If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing your goals today, remember that you haven’t lost tomorrow’s opportunity to try again.

Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, some days will also be great. Try to look forward to tomorrow’s fresh start.

4. Assess the parts instead of generalizing the whole

Depression can tinge recollections with negative emotions. You may find yourself focusing on the one thing that went wrong instead of the many things that went right.

Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was happy about the event or day. Then write down what went wrong.

Seeing the weight you’re giving to one thing may help you direct your thoughts away from the whole and to the individual pieces that were positive.

5. Do the opposite of what the ‘depression voice’ suggests

The negative, irrational voice in your head may talk you out of self-help. However, if you can learn to recognize it, you can learn to replace it. Use logic as a weapon. Address each thought individually as it occurs.

If you believe an event won’t be fun or worth your time, say to yourself, “You might be right, but it’ll be better than just sitting here another night.” You may soon see the negative isn’t always realistic.

6. Set attainable goals

A lengthy to-do list may be so weighty that you’d rather do nothing. Instead of compiling a long list of tasks, consider setting one or two smaller goals.

For example:

  • Don’t clean the house; take the trash out.
  • Don’t do all the laundry that’s piled up; just sort the piles by colour.
  • Don’t clear out your entire email inbox; just address any time-sensitive messages.

When you’ve done a small thing, set your eyes on another small thing, and then another. This way, you have a list of tangible achievements and not an untouched to-do list.

7. Reward your efforts

All goals are worthy of recognition, and all successes are worthy of celebration. When you achieve a goal, do your best to recognize it.

You may not feel like celebrating with a cake and confetti, but recognizing your own successes can be a very powerful weapon against depression’s negative weight.

The memory of a job well-done may be especially powerful against negative talk and overgeneralization.

8. You may find it helpful to create a routine

If depressive symptoms disrupt your daily routine, setting a gentle schedule may help you feel in control. But these plans don’t have to map out an entire day.

Your schedule could focus on the time before work or right before bed. Perhaps it’s only for the weekends. Focus on creating a loose, but structured, routine that can help you keep your daily pace going.

9. Do something you enjoy…

Depression can push you to give into your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than happy emotions.

Try to push back and do something you love — something that’s relaxing, but energizing. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking.

These activities can provide subtle lifts in your mood and energy, which may help you overcome your symptoms.

10. …like listening to music

Research shows music can be a great way to boost your mood and improve symptoms of depression. It may also help you strengthen your reception of positive emotions.

Music may be especially beneficial when performed in group settings, such as a musical ensemble or band.

You can also reap some of the same rewards simply by listening.

11. Or spend time in nature

Mother Nature can have a powerful influence on depression. Research suggests people who spend time in nature have improved mental health.

Exposure to sunlight may offer some of the same benefits. It can increase your serotonin levels, which can provide a temporary mood boost.

Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending some time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.

12. Or spend time with loved ones

Depression can tempt you to isolate yourself and withdraw from your friends and family, but face-to-face time can help wash away those tendencies.

If you’re unable to spend time together in person, phone calls or video chats can also be helpful.

Try to remind yourself these people care about you. Resist the temptation to feel like you’re a burden. You need the interaction — and they likely do, too.

13. Try something new entirely

When you do the same thing day after day, you use the same parts of your brain. You can challenge your neurons and alter your brain chemistry by doing something entirely different.

Research also shows doing new things can improve your overall well-being and strengthen your social relationships.

To reap these benefits, consider trying a new sport, taking a creative class, or learning a new cooking technique.

14. Volunteering can be a great way to do both

Knock out a few birds with one stone — spending time with other people and doing something new — by volunteering and giving your time to someone or something else.

You may be used to receiving help from friends, but reaching out and providing help may actually improve your mental health more.

Bonus: People who volunteer experience physical benefits, too. This includes a reduced risk of hypertension.

15. You can also use this as a way to practice gratitude

When you do something you love, or even when you find a new activity you enjoy, you may be able to boost your mental health more by taking time to be thankful for it.

Research shows gratitude can have lasting positive effects on your overall mental health.

What’s more, writing down your gratitude — including writing notes to others — can be particularly meaningful.

16. Incorporating meditation may help ground your thoughts

Stress and anxiety can prolong your depression symptoms. Finding relaxation techniques can help you lower stress and invite more joy and balance into your day.

Research suggests activities like meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and even journaling may help you improve your sense of well-being and feel more connected to what’s happening around you.

17. What you eat and drink can also affect how you feel

There’s no magic diet that will treat depression. But what you put into your body can have a real and a significant impact on the way you feel.

Eating a diet rich in lean meats, vegetables, and grains may be a great place to start. Try to limit stimulants like caffeine, coffee, and soda, and depressants like alcohol.

Some people also feel better and have more energy when they avoid sugar, preservatives, and processed foods.

If you have the means, consider meeting with a doctor or registered dietitian for guidance.

18. If you’re up for exercise, consider a walk around the block

On days when you feel as if you can’t get out of bed, exercise may seem like the last thing you’d want to do. However, exercise and physical activity can be powerful depression fighters.

Research suggests that, for some people, exercise can be as effective as medication at relieving depression symptoms. It may also help prevent future depressive episodes.

If you’re able to, take a walk around the block. Start with a five-minute walk and work your way up from there.

19. Getting enough sleep can also have a noticeable effect

Sleep disturbances are common with depression. You may not sleep well, or you may sleep too much. Both can make depression symptoms worse.

Aim for eight hours of sleep per night. Try to get into a healthy sleeping routine.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help you with your daily schedule. Getting the proper amount of sleep may also help you feel more balanced and energised throughout your day.

20. Consider clinical treatment

You may also find it helpful to speak to a professional about what you’re going through. A general practitioner may be able to refer you to a therapist or other specialist.

They can assess your symptoms and help develop a clinical treatment plan tailored to your needs. This may include traditional options, such as medication and therapy, or alternative measures, such as acupuncture.

Finding the right treatment for you may take some time, so be open with your provider about what is and isn’t working. Your provider will work with you to find the best option.

What Can You Do to Stop Anxiety Attacks

Episodes of anxiety attacks can be uncomfortable, unpleasant and unhealthy. Because of this, most people head to the medicine cabinet for a quick relief. While some may find medications as an effective way to battle anxiety, there are more natural and equally effective ways of dealing your excessive emotion without subjecting the body to different negative side-effects.

Exercise – Exercise improves the health of the body and mind, and improves the overall well-being of a person. A 30-minute exercise, 3-5 times a week is enough to provide anxiety relief. Increasing to at least an hour of aerobic exercise each day provides maximum benefits for relieving stress and anxiety.

Sleep – A popular adage, “early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise,” speaks of the importance of sleep in the overall health of a person. Qualitative sleep for 8 hours a day is a proven and effective technique to battle stress as well as anxiety attacks.

Healthy diet – Along with exercise, diet plays an important role in the overall health of the body. Eating healthy food maintains the normal chemistry and hormones of the body as well has provides resistance to common ailments that increases the risk of anxiety attacks.

Avoid unnecessary stressors – Most stressors are unavoidable and it is also unhealthy to turn your back to certain situations that need to be addressed. Still, some situations and people cause unnecessary stress that result to anxiety attacks. Avoid people that stress you out, learn how to say ‘no’, trim down your to-do-list, avoid sensitive topics such as politics and religion, etc.

Relaxation techniques – Yoga, meditation, Taiji, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization and breathing exercises can reduce anxiety and promote the feeling of relaxation and emotional well-being.

Keep a positive outlook – While it is very difficult to maintain a good attitude when experiencing an anxiety attack, it is very crucial to be more conscious and help stay in control over the situation to effectively battle your condition. Do not think “Oh no, not again!” or “I’m screwed” when an episode hits you. Think that it will be over soon and control your emotions so that your anxiety will now get worse.

If the abovementioned techniques do not work for you, it is probably time to consult a health professional about your health. Since symptoms of anxiety attacks may be a result of other psychological and physical conditions, you need to see your medical doctor first and get a complete physical in order to rule out any other possible causes.

If anxiety prevails and symptoms last for more than 1 to 2 weeks, especially if you have no idea why, see a trained therapist.

A person with anxiety disorder usually goes under medication, therapy or both. Prescription drugs for anxiety are usually antidepressants and benzodiazepines. However, they provide short-term relief and thus, other therapy is often recommended. Therapies given are cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy. They are both effective (especially when combined with medication) to treat anxiety disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps patients to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Exposure therapy, on the other hand, helps treat anxiety attacks by subjecting the patients to control fear in a safe and controlled environment. Through repeated exposure, patients gain greater self control and more confidence in facing fearful situation.

8 Ways to Build Mental Strength

Mental strength or mental toughness means that you are able to manage and regulate your emotions and behaviors. In turn allowing you to overcome doubt, fear, failure, concerns, and circumstances which could prevent you from succeeding or finding happiness.

Mental strength is important because it allows us to continue when things get tough. It allows us to accept what is, move on quickly, and be content. It’s also a building block for self-discipline.

I definitely believe mental strength is key to success. People at the top (whether that be financially, physically, in business, etc.) all went through failures, stress, fatigue, and other life battles.

The difference between those who make it and those who tried but gave up? Mental strength.

You can build your mental strength by being mindful, being aware, thinking positively, and practicing good habits.

Here are a few suggestions to build your mental strength:

Bite your tongue

In the past, if someone made me angry I would typically respond back with hostility and negative energy. That energy would often stay with me for awhile as I went about my day.

Now I try my best to respond neutrally or with silence. When you do this, you also prevent yourself from saying anything you may regret.

The more you practice biting your tongue (or not hitting your car horn) the less people have control over you.

It’s actually quite satisfying when people honk at you aggressively for whatever reason while you sit there without a care.

Work through your struggles

Life will inevitably throw you curve balls…big or small we all struggle. Sometimes it’s easier to try to avoid or mask the emotions that come with them.

On the other hand, some people handle difficulties by reacting quickly.

For example, someone may yell at their significant other when a disagreement comes up. One might go spend hundreds on “retail therapy” after they got laid off. Or someone may drink the night away after a bad day.

None of these help to resolve the situation or make you mentally strong.

Instead, evaluate and work through all of your hardships. Calmly speak to your significant other, make a plan and choose to be responsible, practice yoga or meditation to work through stress.

When you face and overcome hardships, you can look back and know you pushed through it, you survived, and you did so with dignity and grace.

By handling your problems in this manner, you will realize that you can get through everything. They make you stronger and you can’t be broken!

Practice gratitude daily

Every morning or evening write down 3 things you are grateful for.

If you’re feeling negative, start writing down a gratitude list and feel yourself relieved of those emotions. Making a mindset shift to focus on the positives instead is incredibly powerful.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough and makes us more present.

Push through discomfort

In other words, step out of your comfort zone.

To do this you have to look for a larger meaning.

Don’t feel like working out? Think about why you wanted to or should work out. Let that purpose push you to do what you don’t feel like doing.

If you don’t go workout, you’re losing the battle and weakening your self-discipline at the same time.

If you do go workout, you benefit from moving your body and YOU controlled the situation. You told your brain who’s boss and didn’t give in to an easier activity (watching tv for example).

It may not seem huge in the moment, but each time you don’t do something you said you would or should be doing, you’re worsening your bad habits.

This applies to many things.

Getting a big project done even though you’re afraid of failure.

Adding up all your debt even though it makes you anxious.

Tidying up your house even though you’re sleepy.

You’re going to feel uncomfortable, but getting past that makes you that much stronger.

Stop comparing yourself to others

You are YOU for a reason. Someone will always be better looking, richer, and happier…or at least appear that way. Make the most of what you have and who you are.

If you want to make a change, then do it. But do it for you and in your own way.

Focusing on others’ success will only hold you back.

This may mean you should step back from social media for a bit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you focus solely on you and your life.

Celebrate the little things

Get excited about small wins in your life. If you take a step back and just observe, life is actually quite amazing. 

It’s OK to feel proud and give yourself credit for all the tiny things you accomplish. People tend to look at how far they have left to go rather than looking at all they have already done.

Life is also way more fun when you get excited for those small things that bring you joy.

Let life be

Life is simple. Of course bad things happen that are really tough to go through, but we tend to overcomplicate every single thing. 

If you can’t control something, let it be. 

If something isn’t going according to plan, laugh about it and adjust what you need to.

All you can do is control how you think and react to everything in life.

Live your life how you want to

No matter what you do someone won’t be happy about it. Those people may be your family, your friends, or strangers on the internet, but at the end of the day this is YOUR life.

If you are happy, not hurting anyone, or causing any damage, then do you. 

Learn to stand up for what you believe in and for yourself.

Mental strength takes time to build. However, the more your practice mental strength building exercises, the easier it gets.

There are a lot of ways to increase your mental strength, the important part is that you are aware of and can recognize the things you may say or do that decrease your mental toughness. Over time you will learn and develop the habit to manage your weaknesses!

25 Uncomfortable Things You Need To Do If You Don’t Want To Regret Your 20s

1. Have the courage to say when something isn’t working.

2. Have the courage to commit when something is.

3. Take a look at yourself and ask: If I stopped growing tomorrow, is this the person I would want to be for the rest of my life?

4. Decide what doesn’t matter, so you can invest your time and money into what does.

5. Think regularly about how you would live your life if social media didn’t exist, if you weren’t documenting your every move, or if you didn’t have glossy, edited pictures to compare yourself to.

6. Stop overreacting.

7. Have something to talk about that isn’t other people, and your judgments of them.

8. Stop worrying about inane things like whether or not you are “fat.” Nobody will be at your funeral blessing your life because you maintained one pant size. How you look is not an accomplishment.

9. Ask questions about other people more than you make statements about yourself.

10. Stop trying to have the most nuanced, complex opinions more than you try to be the kindest, most empathetic person you know.

11. Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

12. Read books.

13. Learn how to be nice. This is the most insanely powerful life hack, and yet the most overlooked. Learn how to genuinely be nice to people. This will get you farther than anything else.

14. Live so death has nothing to steal. Leave everything on the table. Don’t hold back your thoughts, your love, your creativity for another day. That path leads you to becoming a fraction of the person you were meant to be.

15. Stop saying you want to be in a forever relationship, and be in one. Your soulmate relationship is something you build, not something you stumble upon. If you don’t figure this out, you will be perpetually disappointed by the person you end up with.

16. Live within your means. If you don’t learn to do this when you have little, you won’t be able to do it when you have more. High-earning people can also be the most indebted and financially unstable, because they are always living just a bit outside of what they can afford.

17. Accomplishments don’t change your life, habits do.

18. Write a mission statement and use it as your guideline. Define your most essential values and make sure your thoughts, actions and decisions align with them. This is how you live an honest life.

19. Don’t burn bridges. Learn to bow out of friendships, relationships, jobs and parties with grace.

20. Ask for the truth.

21. Be in the discomfort that’s leading you to your bad habits. Whatever it is that’s holding you back in your life is actually a symptom of some unmet need. Figure out what it is, and feed it in a healthy way. Your external issues will start to dissolve as you do.

22. Recognize the ways in which you’ve projected blame onto others. “What you love in people is what you love about yourself; what you hate in people is what you can’t see in yourself.”

23. Learn to seek purpose more than you do pleasure. Pleasure does not change your life, it makes discomfort bearable. Purpose makes discomfort worth it. Don’t let comfort be your first virtue.

24. Home is where you make it, so make it somewhere.

25. Break free from the illusion that what you see on Instagram is “real life.” It is not “real life.” It is a highly curated, aspirational, photoshopped, filtered vignette.

Bonus!

26. Learn to be happy here, now, today. If you do not learn how to be happy in the present, no job, no partner, no success, no trip, no money, nothing that you are working for will be as enjoyable as you think. You cannot save up your happiness to be released when you think you deserve it. You either have it now, or you have it never.

14 Ways to Deal with Anxiety in the Moment

Hello stars!

The word “anxiety” gets thrown around a lot in day-to-day conversation, and I think the casual use of the word undermines how truly crippling anxiety can be. I have good days, and I have bad days. On good days, I only feel anxious for a few minutes out of the whole day. When my anxiety gets bad, I feel completely paralyzed. It’s as if I physically can’t move. I’ve had more good days recently, but I still have a bad day every once in a while.

My struggles with anxiety inspired me to write this article and share some coping methods that help me. I mostly focus on two strategies: distraction and rationalization. When I start feeling anxious, I either try to distract myself from the feeling or encourage rational thinking to separate the anxious thoughts from what’s really happening.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and I am not claiming that I have a cure for anxiety. The info below is based entirely on my personal experience and research.

Above all, it’s important that you follow the instructions of your doctor if you have prescribed medication or anything that is part of a treatment plan.

I am currently on medication for anxiety. If you are taking medication that works for you, I encourage you to take it, but only as prescribed by your doctor.

OK… Now that I have my little disclaimer out of the way, I’ll share my tips.

Here are 14 ways to deal with anxiety in the moment:

1. Just breathe.

When you feel like the room is spinning and your heart is about to jump out of your chest, the best thing to do is just focus on your breathing. Inhale and exhale. By bringing attention to your breath, you will feel more grounded. Your breath is the link between your body and mind. Paying attention to it will help you come back to the present moment.

2. Wait it out.

I remind myself that anxiety is often temporary (or it will at least get better over time), and I find ways to deal with it until it goes away. If you’re in a state of anxious paralysis and you can’t do anything except wait it out, tell yourself it’s going to be OK and that you will eventually feel better.

3. Turn on some music.

I love listening to music no matter what I’m doing, and sometimes it’s exactly what I need when I’m feeling anxious. Try turning on your favorite song or band when you’re feeling down. It might lift your mood a little, or at least provide a distraction from the anxiety.

4. Watch a funny TV show or movie.

Oftentimes, laughter is the best medicine. Like listening to music, watching something on TV is a good way to distract yourself from your anxious thoughts.

5. Listen to an uplifting podcast.

I enjoy listening to personal development and motivational podcasts. You should try to find one that interests or inspires you. It will bring positive energy into your day, which can soothe your feelings of anxiety.


6. Do something productive to distract yourself.

Productive activities serve as distractions, and they will also make you feel like you accomplished something. Personally, quite a bit of my anxiety is caused by unfinished tasks that are looming over me and stressing me out. If you’re the same way, try tackling the smaller tasks on your to-do list. When you have fewer things left to do, you will feel less anxious.

7. Get creative.

Creative hobbies work wonders for anxiety (or at least for me, they do). Even if you don’t consider yourself artistic, you could try writing, crafting, dancing, or doing anything that brings you joy. My passion project is this blog, and I enjoy working on my content when I’m feeling anxious or depressed. I encourage you to find a creative hobby if you don’t have one already. You will have something fulfilling to do when anxiety strikes.


8. Take a nap.

This could be difficult if your anxiety prevents you from sleeping, but napping can be a great solution because it passes time.

9. Seek support from loved ones.

I understand not feeling comfortable opening up to others, but sometimes that’s just what you need. Talking to someone you trust will make you feel less alone in the world, and you will probably feel better after venting. I’m a pretty independent person, but even I can’t do everything all by myself. I lean on my support system when I feel like I can’t do it alone.


10. Write in a journal.

If you don’t want to talk about your feelings to anyone, you could write them down in a journal instead. Journaling can be therapeutic, and it will create a record of your thoughts for you to reflect upon later.

11. Recite or write down some positive affirmations.

Affirmations are positive statements that change your mindset and help you overcome negative thoughts. They are good for dealing with anxiety because they help you reduce stress and increase feelings of personal power. Affirmations will make you feel more grounded in reality, and you will realize that everything is going to be OK.


12. Focus on things you can control.

A lot of my anxiety is about things that are out of my control. Worry is a wasted emotion, especially if you’re worrying about things that you have no control over. If there is something you CAN do to improve a situation, focus on that instead of letting anxiety manifest over things you can’t change.

13. Take time for self-care.

I feel anxious about my busy schedule all the time. One way I calm my anxiety is simply by taking a break. A little extra time for self=care can go a long, long way. Whatever self-care means to you, try to incorporate more of it into your life. It will improve your mental health overall.


14. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If things are really getting tough, and you feel like you have no idea what to do next, do not be afraid to ask for professional help. Everyone who struggles with anxiety has a different experience with it, and some people can’t manage it on their own.

Getting help could be the best decision you ever make. I’ve been in and out of therapy over the years, but I got something good out of it every time I went. It’s a personal decision, and I’m not trying to be pushy about it. But it’s definitely something to think about if you feel like your anxiety has backed you into a corner.

Thanks so much for reading! I hope this helps. If you have questions or comments, you can leave me a message below or send me an email at ellestoj.gmail.com . If you’d like to read more posts like this, leave your email in the box below to subscribe.

I wish you many calm days to come!

Deep Questions To Ask Yourself To Change Your Life Around

No matter how far we journey in life, there are always questions that swell around our minds; they could be self-reflection questions, questions about life that makes you think, life questions to ask, questions to ask yourself to find out who you are or what direction you are headed in?

These questions to ask yourself enables you to determine where you are, where you have been, where you intend to go and how these actions have shaped your life.

It enables you to evaluate your life as an unexamined life is not worth living; it helps you unravel your potential, find your purpose and find a balance in the chaos brewing around.

These questions to ask yourself serve as a bridge of identification, examination, discovery, and clarification. Life changes at every point of survival and the need to adjust to its transition brings about growth and in the course of this transition, it’s easy to lose your focus and fall short on your journey.

A few months ago, my mental state was set loose, my life was on a tight rope, the experience of adulthood, friendship, career, and relationship were extremely overwhelming. I had to take a big step out from the puddle of confusion and turn the lights of evaluation on.

I had to understand that my roots were entangled in self-betrayal and unclear beliefs; I wasn’t giving enough to myself as I had given to others, I kept seeking for external validation, reducing the spark of my authenticity to embrace the warm light of others, peeling off my strength in an embrace of love.

Until I put my life under a consistent check; asking the right questions to bring about introspection to create a foundation for a happier life, I did not have a successful breakthrough.

When you create a space of positivity you will attract positive vibes more, so when you outline questions to strengthen the level of positivity in your life, you grow.

Set out your microscope and let’s figure out what you need to find in yourself. These questions to ask yourself are meant to tend to your inner voice and guide you through the struggle of survival and living. They can also serve as self-empowering journal prompts.

40 Questions I Asked Myself That Changed My Life:

What Phase Are You In Currently?

  • What is this phase teaching you?
  • Did you learn what you need to carry on to the next phase?
  • Are you unlearning?
  • What has brought you the most joy and the most challenge and how has that shaped you?

This is a vital evaluation of life. Life is a crate of experience, each layer or section has a lesson to teach. As things unfold through every process in life; wilting, falling, rooting, rising and blooming, there is always a lesson hanging in between each phase.

Our experiences are a catalyst for growth; they keep us in check and prepare us for the long point of our journey. You may be at an invisible spot where everything seems to be crumbling down.

I want you to remember that when the balance of reality unravels with your dreams magnified through a glass of limitation; when everything around you shatters, know that rock bottom is a perfect place for rebuilding!

Every scare through the struggle and turbulence of survival is a badge of honor; each misstep is a victory dance waiting to happen-

Titilope Sonuga

Learning the complicated language of survival -letting go and holding on, your experiences are bricks to be layered up to get a head-on on the path you have to take. There are lessons the universe is instilling in you, so you know what to take into your next season.

This is a major evaluation and consoling lift I stand on each time my tolerance is trimmed. When survival gets tough through the experiences and journey, I ask what does this phase has installed for me? What is this situation negatively or positively teaching me? How can I induce that knowledge into my life as a force changer or uplift? I can go as far as yelling this out and crying my heart out as I vent my answers out.

Life has rough edges and learning through these twists and turns, my friend, can be challenging but the ability to learn from failed routes makes you navigate better. So darling, when you lose the momentum to strive, shove your feet and ask the question- What is this phase teaching me?

Sometimes, the revelation or lesson may be clouded but eventually it comes to light, it could be after you have moved from that situation or phase.

I have a draft on my phone where I subsequently outline every lesson I have learned from my dark phase. I see them as badges of wisdom and strength incurred from the fight of survival and when things get all rosy I go back and read them out loud.

I want you to try this exercise and let me know the outcome. It really motivated me in looking forward to the relevance of that tight phase.

What Are You Holding On To That Is Limiting You?

  • What are you creating toxic space for?
  • What positive thoughts about myself can I focus on?

Hold on, don’t be too quick to answer, travel down your hill of experience and reflect. In a bid of survival, we are bound to make connections, lose some in the way and pick up certain negative traits of limitations consciously and unconsciously.

Life changes at every point of survival and the need to adjust to its transition brings about growth and it is not always easy to adjust. A few months ago, my mental state like I said was on a tight rope, I was utterly chasing the wrong purpose, limiting myself, waking up self-doubt.

I continually belittled my accomplishments as little as they were, curbed my authenticity by not giving permission to be myself, silent my voice and intuition, compromised my beliefs, and prioritized others over myself.

And at the end of that process, I was externally and internally exhausted I couldn’t understand that each challenge or experience was a stepping stone to a greater journey of empowerment and strength.

Instead of a stance of anger and regrets, I started to let go of the mistakes I made and gave myself the opportunity to learn to stand up for myself, give permission to myself to shine, induct my beliefs, prioritize myself over others and invest into some effective self-care routines.

Have You Cared And Nourished Yourself?

  • How can you tend to yourself with more compassion?
  • How can I create more room to just be?
  • Am I taking care of my needs and desires?
  • Do I say yes when I should say no?
  • How can I love myself more today?
  • Am I practicing self-care enough?

Tending to yourself is a necessity of survival. We are often taught by society countlessly to struggle, find a balance, and have a successful life but not exactly how to maintain our mental and physical state.

Through the struggle and in the quest of figuring out your stance, navigating through boundaries, surviving through the turbulent journey of life.

We have to learn to tend to ourself; tending to yourself could be even in the smallest things like:

  • Creating me time.
  • Soaking your soul with peace.
  • Letting go of the limitations of the past.
  • Indulging in productive routines
  • Declaring your worth.
  • Learning to choose yourself.
  • Treating yourself with more respect.
  • Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
  • Uprooting negativity and paving way for positivity
  • Prioritizing others over yourself.

Tending for yourself is nurturing yourself, it is a series of commitments. Always endeavour to employ these questions to ask yourself  to know you are coping internally and externally.

 Are You Embracing And Accepting Changes Or Life Transition?

The arrival of change or the acceptance of a transition life ushered in, has always been a daunting or difficult situation for me to accept. Change drags in a lot -the thoughts of learning, unlearning, letting go, taking more responsibility as reality comes to play makes life scary but the ability to accept it makes living worth it, makes it a blissful adventure.

This is a question you need to continually ask yourself to keep track of the pieces we are failing to move or failing to see.

Life isn’t blissful, it can be very challenging. The change could be in your finance; having increments could be overwhelming and working with your budget could be stressful, we just have to be ready to partake in the adventure life provides.

The truth is we are all playing blank cards in life, we might have an idea of where we intend on ending but we can’t see it until we get there so we hope for the best. Life has its strategy in even checking up before we show our cards.

What Mindsets Are You Pursuing?

  • What positive thoughts about myself can I focus on?
  • Where does this thought comes from?
  • Is it mine or someone else?
  • What can I learn from this thought?
  • What belief is attached to this thought?
  • How long have I had this belief?
  • Where does this belief come from?
  • Has this belief served its purpose?
  • Can I let the thought and belief go?

Our minds can be seen as an attractive template; they entice and work with the kind of thoughts we harbor. Developing or nursing a positive mindset is extremely beneficial for your mental and physical health.

There was a time in my journey I had no idea on what a positive mindset was all about, I constantly let my assumptions, fear, insecurities, and limitations take the better part of me. I couldn’t grow, I was too afraid to take risks and chances until I learned to not be pushed, persuaded by the fears in my mind and this was really difficult.

Sometimes, I still find negativity lurking around but I know what to channel to discard such thoughts.

Sometimes all we need is to question our inner narrative. Our minds are the gears to our body, we support the gear to move seamlessly, instead of worrying about what I couldn’t control, I shifted my energy to what I can create and the energy or vibration I give to the situation I experience and with time I started to grow.

I am still a work in progress, still learning and unlearning the intricate lessons of positivity and you can do that any time (smiles).

To stay on track, these are questions to ask yourself when you are approaching a transition, facing a crisis, in a challenging phase or even have no direction about life.

  • What kind of thoughts am I nursing?
  • What is my mind geared on?
  • What direction am I heading to with the stance of my mindset?
  • Is this a progressive thought?
  • Am I exercising my mental strength and authority by preserving such thoughts?
  • What can I be grateful for and positive about right now?
  • What am I holding on to that I need to let go of?

What Do You Want To Add And What Do You Want To Release?

Am I ready to heal or release this?

Phew! This is a deep question I want you to ask yourself again. I am certain you weren’t focusing on the meaning of the outlined questions. In the struggle of survival, we hold on to several rays of support which could be detrimental to our growth and overhaul our stability.

It could be holding on to a toxic relationship because of the clouded hope for change from the person, it could be letting your family break your boundaries because you don’t want to come off as rude or selfish, it could be seeking external validation to feel good, sabotaging yourself due to your mistakes and experience from the past, holding onto the past as a leverage to build boundaries. Many of us have learned coping mechanisms and survival techniques that kept us safe when we needed them to.

Often, we continue holding onto these tools, even when we are no longer threatened. By honoring the purpose they once served and thanking ourselves for keeping us safe, we need to start letting go of and unlearning what no longer supports us in the way they used to.

Don’t cling so tightly to your hurt that you don’t make room for your healing- Lisaoliver

Lisa Oliver

Ways to tolerate difficult emotions and release negativity:

  • Practice mindfulness.
  • Utilize somatic exercise and breathwork.
  • Implement a self-compassion mantra.
  • Take a five-minute brisk walk (if this isn’t accessible, do jumping jacks or stretch your arms up and out).
  • Change your environment.
  • Ask yourself when you need to add or subtract.
  • Remind yourself when you are safe.
  • Create a personalized plan for yourself to reference when you need it.

When Self-Doubt Comes Visiting

Ask yourself– what might I be needing right now? What am I noticing? What might have brought on this feeling?

Remind Yourself– Lots of people experience self-doubt just because I feel this way doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s okay to just notice this feeling right now, and I don’t need to act from it.

Give yourself– Time to feel it, space to explore it, room to get curious about it and freedom to choose how you respond.

In these past 3 months, this has been a routine I have been cultivating; releasing toxic energy, negative vibration attracted from my fears, beliefs, limitations, and mistakes through my experience and overcoming a dark phase.

I want you to know that the process of growth can be challenging, it entails a lot of learning and unlearning, letting go and to grow, you have to let go of negative boundaries in order to make a space for what nurtures you.

What Am I Grateful For Right Now?

  • What do I feel thankful to have that others do not have?
  • What relationships am I thankful for?
  • How can I be thankful for the challenges that I’ve experienced?
  • How can I be thankful for the changes that have occurred in my life?
  • What insights have I gained that I am grateful for?
  • What do I appreciate and why?
  • How can I say thank you more?
  • What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for?
  • Is there anything I’m taking for granted that I’m grateful for?

Gratitude attracts more happiness, positivity relishes good experiences. No matter the phase or situation we find ourselves in, there is always a lot to be grateful for, the act of gratitude enables us to grow.

What Am I Afraid Of? How Can I Work On These Fears?

  • What am I so scared of that will bring so much pain in my life?

For so long, I was withdrawn and limited by the fears I harbored. Fear seemed to magnify the limitations and challenges that I could overcome.

Fear was me forgetting everything and running instead of facing everything and rising. It took me a while to understand that fear is fuel to success, it is not present to limit you but to push in the direction you want to go. I remember figuring this out to myself and the term fear was just a term that I was in total control of.

Your ability to know and understand breaks the complication.  You have to understand that our fears are negative thoughts that we are constantly engineering to control our minds and until we learn to dominate our minds with positivity, we cannot grow beyond our limitations and fears.

What Is The Meaning Of Life? What Is My Purpose?

This is a very important question to ask yourself especially when there is a transition or a shift.

So many of us wake up to self-realization in our 30s and 40s and realize we don’t know why we got here and how we got here and we know for sure this is not where we wanted to be years and years ago.

How Do I Set Goals And What Goals Should I Set?

  • What can I change to better support my goal?
  • Is this the direction I want to be moving in?
  • Are my recent choices helping my happiness?

In the journey of chasing our dreams, setting goals are a boost of elevation. Goal setting enables us to see what we are accomplishing and analyze how we can accomplish more.

People without goals are not as successful as they hope to be and people who do not write down goals or present evaluating questions to ask are less likely to accomplish their intentions.

My life has totally taken a positive shift from my improved goal setting habits, and in a bid to keep that organized I always ask myself how do I set more goals and even at the roof of success what goals should I set?

Self-awareness and evaluation is a major tool to design a successful life; when self-awareness starts deepening, we begin to understand the influence of our accumulated experience, reclaim our power and navigate through life with ease. My darling, endeavor to check-in with yourself with these questions to ask yourself.

I’m Tired of Coming Up With Excuses for My Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are extremely common, and odds are you know someone struggling with one and you don’t even realize it. Often, those with anxiety don’t share that they’re dealing with it due to the stigma. We can sit here all day and talk about how, “It’s OK to have a mental illness,” and “Mental health is so important!” Yet, so many people act like it’s not.

Mental health is important. You are important. I am important.

I’m tired of constantly having to come up with excuses for my anxiety to benefit those who don’t understand or don’t care to. I’m sick and that’s OK! If your brain is sick, then it’s OK.

It’s disappointing I’m more comfortable saying I have a stomach bug than having panic attacks all day. It’s disappointing I’d rather lie to my friends and tell them I have a cold rather than say my anxious mind is weaving its way into my thoughts again. It’s disappointing I’ve been told that “I’m crazy,” “I need to just relax,” and “It could be worse.”

Obviously, I know all of this. Try telling that to my anxious mind, would ya?

The word anxiety gets thrown around so much that it belittles the constant dread and fear the illness holds. I constantly hear the word anxiety being used as a synonym for nervous. News flash! It’s not. I’m not just nervous. I’m not just worried. This doesn’t just last sometimes. This isn’t situational. This is my life.

Anxiety is real, and it sucks. The more we keep holding anxiety under this stigma, the more it will take a grip on our mind and bodies. I want to be able to say I have an anxiety disorder and not receive judgmental looks and disapproving comments. This is real. Pay attention to it, and don’t stigmatize what so many of us have to deal with daily.

8 Positive Habits That Changed My Life

Life is a series of changes presented with looming challenges, opportunities, happiness, pressure, roadblocks, stress, and bliss; and growth is allured from such circumstantial factors to positively improve the level of living with adopted principles, habits and routines.

There are times when life can be complicated with a lot of hitches, keeping up with goals, responsibilities, and tasks can be daunting; in a toxic environment, immersing in stress, with anxiety, low energy and apathy; the need for change is needed more than ever because change is the law of life.

It is a crucial factor of survival and it paves way for growth and opportunities; without the shift, there is no incentive for improvement.

In the first trimester of the year, I was on the back roll of succeeding with a lot happening behind the scenes of my life.

I was pushed to the limit with a lot of challenges, stress, and obstacles that made life overbearing at a firm point and I was helpless, at the verge of retiring from everything but I realized that valuable lessons are learned from all the events and you can never reach your true potential until you challenge yourself to go beyond imposed limitations by cultivating new habits, routines and improving the areas in your life that need change.

And we all have moments in our lives where we are required to shift or take a drastic difference that can introduce us to new phases, levels, and opportunities.

There are times we hit a rut in our lives and we decide that we need to make some changes that will set our path on the right track as life is a catalog of growth aligned in the gallery of surviving. The need for goals, priorities, logic, reasoning, and theories to be improved is an optimal factor of growth.

Growth lives in the uneasiness, the in-between, the unfinished sentences and in the season of becoming; so I employed some habits to change my life and the results were impressive. And these are practically applicable habits that are essential and beneficial to anyone whether you are into self-care or personal development.

They are habits that I have picked up over the course of my transformation and discovery journey that has been life-changing.

1.  Mindset Shift

The mind is the most important part of achieving anything, as mental change always comes before physical change.

The mind is like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand. Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside changes with it, so the first thing I did was cultivate a positive mindset.

I know this is easier for some people than others because our cards played in life are totally different but you can cultivate, develop and groom a positive mindset with effective and easy tips.

It’s always easier said than done, trust me, cultivating a positive mind and uplifting positivity from every situation was one of the difficult things I have ever done.

When tragedy unraveled without a directive, keeping sane and cultivating positivity was hard! One trick I employed was sharpening a positive vision. Even before situations unveiled, I upheld positivity and silent negativity, starting with the utterances I made.

As I visualized my life and my goals, my weeks and days influenced by positivity, things took a positive turn, one take-home lesson was “every mistake or failure made is an outlet of winning or learning so do not be afraid or limit yourself”.

I grasped every opportunity as a medium to grow. It wasn’t easy at the initial stages but as I accepted and became mindful of optimism, constructive changes walked into my life.

I eliminated negative thinking and adopted positivity, I affirmed that good things will always happen to me even in the most challenging battles and negative events are temporary and most times stepping stones to greater heights.

The theme of my life was built on positivity as I faced my fears, accepted failures, outlined lessons from it, welcomed changes, push through hard times, eliminated negativity and stayed authentic.

2.  Gratitude

In everything “give thanks”, because the more you express gratitude for what you have the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for. I learned to develop an attitude of gratitude and give thanks for every step.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It can turn a meal into a feast and a house into a home.

Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgiving and change ordinary activities into opportunities. It is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being because it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality.

We often focus on wanting more, but if we take a step back and be truly grateful, our lives will be changed.

To practice gratitude, all you have to do is write down 3 things that you are grateful for every single day especially on bad days when you feel stressed, upset, disappointed,  and angry. This allows you to put up a positive mental framework in your head that things are going to be okay.

It doesn’t have to be a difficult or a demanding task; in the morning you can state one thing you are grateful for, in the afternoon another thing you are grateful for and in the evening one more thing that you are grateful for.

If you wake up each day with a sense of gratitude, you will infinitely be a happier person for gratitude is a key to happiness. The more you focus on gratitude the more it grows and the more it brings abundance, so cultivate more gratitude in your everyday life.

3.  Understanding The Reason Behind Seasons

Life is a catalog of events simultaneously hanged to create an adorning piece, sometimes some edges are sharp, the pawns are big and other times smaller but the beauty lies in the sufficient arrangement of each piece to form a meaningful portrait.

This portion of reality is often hard to accept, as it is daunting to sometimes accept the unexpected cards life shows to us; affecting the way we choose to play. Sometimes the game comes to an end too soon, other times it is prolonged with penalties.

So, we have to be prepared to face the inevitable challenges that unfold with living; the clouds on dark storms, the whisper of fear each time we try to take steps of courage, we have to understand there is no adventure without challenge, you can’t fulfill your purpose or manifest without hurdles, impediment and obstacle of survival hence you have to be prepared to face every challenge.

One thing I want you to understand is that things don’t just happen or choose you, they unfold to you for specific reasons and purposes so you will have to learn to see beyond the normal circumstances and learn to probe deep into the reason of the season.

Sometimes all our hidden qualities are sharpened and given life by obstacles and challenges we encounter. Once I understood this, my life changed with prosperity, I may have to overcome certain tragedy because my destination requires a better version that I am yet to discover, so I do not underestimate the reason for seasons.

Seasons come to teach you, elevate, motivate, encourage and lead you to a better dimension. I know this can be difficult to accept and cultivate, but programming your mind and tending to it helps.

In those hard times, you can ask  questions like

  • What are you here to teach me?
  • What do I have to learn?
  • What does this situation need to teach me?
  • Where is my destination with this?
  • What do I need to do differently?
  • What do I need to accept and move on?

Above all, asserting that you are in charge and so you can’t be suppressed, fazed, detained by disappointment, roadblocks, anxiety or depression. They are not here to stay but to pass and call out your improvement so do well! 

In this process of aligning with reasons and seasons, you have to stop complaining, playing the victim or blaming others for problems and learn to take responsibility because you are in control, you can shape your life in the way you want it nobody is going to change your life but you.

Sometimes survival itself can be choking detaining every strand of strength, detecting the need can be hard and all you need to do is to simply breathe, say these words and try again.

I can’t help but lay a lot of emphasis on this point, let growth be anchored to every phase instead of simply shaming, complaining, blaming and reducing your peace.

You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage; instead, it is important for you to understand that your experience, facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.

Perspective they say is everything when you are experiencing the challenges of life. Positively align your perspective because just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition we develop growth and our perspective by overcoming challenges and adversity.

I personally have faced silent difficulties and challenges playing a role that suppressed me but I am here today with a degree of power that was developed from the challenges so please, I want you to remember keenly that every circumstance or event is an opportunity to learn, to discover, invent and reinvent. In fact, take charge and motivate yourself with challenges because every negative pressure or challenge is an opportunity to rise.

Our challenges and obstacles give us layers of depth and interest that make us unique so face them head-on with no restrictions today.

This may be so hard but honor your bloom and trust your wilt, it makes the journey worth the while.

P.S You are allowed to trust your process and yourself; you’re allowed to take risk, in the process, you are allowed to fail before you succeed, you are allowed to not know what you’re doing or where you are going, you are allowed to start over again and again, you are allowed to learn  from your mistakes and do better next time so take it slowly one step at a time.

4.  Self-Care

Self-care is an intentional activity that enables us to take care of our mental health, simply put, self-care is an aid to help us live a balanced life, it is something that we do that refills us. Investing in self-care yielded massive profit for me, incorporating it into my life gave me a firm boost.

Before self-care was initiated, I exhausted myself in the course of working; I barely created time for myself, I worked all through the night and worked harder in the morning and by the time evening rolled around I was too tired to be productive.

I knew I needed a change but I didn’t know how to go about it until one day, I stumbled across some self-care strategies and decided to give them a try. As I started implementing those self-care tips and strategies into my daily activities, I was able to declutter unnecessary activities and draw closer to the mindfulness of positivity.

I was able to release thoughts and energy that were toxic to me and didn’t serve my higher self; my productivity and growth level tripled tremendously, my life was rebranded and so the power of self-care can never be overemphasized.

Loving yourself adequately, validating your worth, creating adequate time for yourself, feeling your pain as you make space for understanding that you are shedding, you are alive, growing and learning to live in the process.

Some self-care strategies and tips I implemented were:

  • Taking a break

We are not machines without a limit of operations; sometimes we need to take breaks and relax.

  • Prioritizing what must be done

Decluttering my to-do list, stop compiling activities and eliminating things that are unnecessary.

  • Making self-care a habit by implementing it into my daily routine.
  • Having warm baths.
  • Stretching in the mornings.
  • Staying hydrated.
  • Turning off electronics 2 hours to bedtime.
  • Spiritual communication.

I want you to understand that your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship, so you have to value the power of self-care.

I learned to care for myself, show up for myself on days when believing in myself was a myth, I refused to suppress my light to accommodate other peoples shadow and this set my life on a productive role.

So I just want to conclude by saying this “love yourself first and everything will fall in place”.

5.  Meditation

This is a vital tool for growth; meditation is simply a firm connection to your inner sanctuary, it enables you to correct your thought, detach from the weariness of chaos soaring on your peace. It provides an anchor for your thoughts, provides a platform where you could check into your subconscious and re-new positivity.

Meditation is transcending into the spiritual, having a firm connection with the divine in the quietness and stillness as you channel better into your inner part.

It is a sanctuary of peace where you connect and observe how the mind works.

In the course of survival, chaos is driven and takes hold. The need to watch our thoughts and the analysis it upholds is extremely important; watching your mind, what slips into the subconscious and how you anchor positivity calming your body and soul.

This is a habit I have been cultivating for the past 6 months; I try to meditate every night and when I do, I notice that I am less stressed, I sleep better, I am more in tune with my body and purpose, I get creative ideas and I am more productive.

I developed and cultivated the bait of synching with my inner consciousness before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning it helps me declutter negative thoughts hovering around my sub-conscious and make peace.

Meditation is a very powerful tool that is yet to be used by a vast majority of the public, it can solve so many of our problems and tremendously improve our lives.

Meditation is not just tangled around the spiritual but it helps a whole load of health problems such as depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, lower blood pressure and it relieves pain.

It is something that changes the way you experience every moment of your life, it is all about what goes on in your mind.

By meditating, you can concentrate more effectively, change your brain in ways to function and increase your productivity level. There are so many ways meditation can influence the body and the brain;

I meditate by:

  • Soaking myself in a quiet environment.
  • Sitting comfortably.
  • Paying attention to something, from my breathing; inhaling and exhaling.
  • Letting thoughts come and go, not encouraging or blocking them.
  • Focusing on a positive mantra.

The mind is so powerful and we become whatever we feed or connect to it; if you haven’t been meditating, give it a try and you’ll see the process will positively impact your life.

6.  Developing Productive Routines

Developing productive habits increases our level of control; setting the right tone for activities to unveil is a vital factor of success. This single habit that I adopted set the wheels of my life on a different seamless track,  I could make goals, set up my priorities, crush them, take care of myself, have adequate time to explore and function effectively.

I started by cultivating a morning routine that is sure to supercharge my day and then a night routine that sets my morning without fatigue and tiredness. Setting the tone for every day is a fundamental ritual to success, the best strategy in forming good and healthy habits.

My mornings were usually tumultuous with fatigue, I didn’t wake up early or have breakfast or keep track of my goals but the need to be productive came at me and developing a routine guide made the process easier.

When it’s time to work I do, when it’s time for some relaxation I honor and when it’s time to go to bed, I totally abide and this single act brought a tremendous shift to my productive sense. I became more organized, I could keep track of activities and I became better at everything.

Keeping routines surely improves your health, well-being, and productivity. When things go right as planned, it gives the rest of your day adequate momentum and energy. I adjusted my routine and my time management increased leading to more accomplishment, achieving goals and making gradual changes.

I developed routines like:

  • Preparing the night before.
  • Outlining my to-do list and prioritizing the most important activity.
  • Starting every day with positive input and mind.
  • Meditating.
  • Soaking in mindfulness,
  • And creating time for myself.

7.  Patience

Nature doesn’t hurry and yet everything is accomplished.

I am quite a patient person however  I become quite apprehensive when I don’t see quick results, I like dwelling and getting results immediately and that can mentally drain a person.

But I came to the understanding and acceptance that life is a tree; from its roots, it springs up, it blooms with time else if forced its harvest becomes premature with no benefit and so I decided to take things slowly and patiently doing my very best. And my motto was to keep going when everything is tough and just keep going when it’s long!

Patience is not passive, it is concentrated strength. Patience is the only true foundation on which to make one’s dreams come true.

It is a companion of wisdom for the times I was irrational and acted on impulse the end result caused me a lot and that is something I don’t want to keep occurring and as the saying goes everything comes to him who hustles while he waits; so I am patiently dealing and approaching life.

8.  Time Consciousness

Time is everything! The ability to prioritize your to-do list, declutter unnecessary activities is a mandatory factor for positive growth and development.

When you prepare for things and tend to them at the outlined time, you can keep track of your productivity level, make changes and achieve more rather than cultivating a lackadaisical behavior towards your responsibilities.

Managing time helps to stay motivated while we avoid procrastination; the trick to successful time management is setting up a schedule or a master time table and prioritizing your list of goals.

When you cultivate personal time management, you are setting a commitment of efficiency for yourself. When you have great time management, you are giving yourself more space to be in control and to progress. When you create a good plan, you’ll have time to do all the things you want to.

When you set up a time plan, you are able to attend to your priorities and walk your way down the least important task. After setting up a firm schedule you’ll notice that your motivation is increasing while your progress is moving ahead, your stress level reduces and you feel so good inwardly.

When you do not have a schedule, you are only hurting yourself because people with poor management time suffer from disorganization and discomforting issues.

Time management is extremely important because it affects every area of your life so try to cultivate a time management format.

I have to drop this in as an additional habit- Learn something new every day! You should always learn to be a student in this lifetime, cultivate the habit of learning something from a podcast, the new media, twitter, google, movies, etc. It is important to stay passionately curious; reading is one knowledge acquirement that helps.

Reading a book is a lifetime knowledge and there is so much out there to learn and reading will help with that. Learning has a way of expanding your mind as it makes your mind more conscious and sharp so do not neglect opportunities to build the knowledge of your mind.

These might not be new tips but the essence of cultivating these habits into your life increases your level of productivity and set your life at a high beam so I want you to pick at least one of these habits if you haven’t been practicing anything just for 30 days for a start you will be pleased with the results.

Remember change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy, but with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.