Discover Your Values

Your values are a guiding light that lead you to a more meaningful, fulfilling life.

Your values define what a meaningful life looks like to you.

Your values are the justification for who and how you are — at your deepest, most personal level.

Your values can even help you heal from different conditions. Several evidence-based treatments use values as the basis for treating depression.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s completely understandable if you feel disconnected from your values — or like you’re at the mercy of everyone else’s personal agendas and desires for you.

But here’s the great news: You can find your way. The key is to pause as the business swirls around you and reflect on the qualities that are most pivotal to you alone — not to anyone else.

Why does having and articulating values matter?

Identifying your values and living them out loud helps you build a fulfilling, satisfying life in a range of ways.

When you know your core values, it’s easier not to allow fear, anxiety, or negative thoughts to hold you back from pursuing deeply important, inspiring projects, activities, or adventures.

Your values can draw out the best (internal) pep talk for giving that poignant speech, writing a book that helps someone through a painful time, or traveling to a fabulous, bucket-list location. Your core values are the fuel that keeps you moving in the direction you set out to go, even when jitters or self-doubt show up.

Similarly, your core values serve as resistance bands to how much (if any) anger, frustration, jealousy, or other potentially overwhelming emotions can build while resolving a conflict or mending a relationship. Your core values guide you in taking action on what you hold dear.

Your core values help you to stand firm when declining not-so-meaningful requests, invites, and activities. Saying “no” to less-important things gives you the time, energy, and resources for what really matters to you.

If you still have a hard time saying no, though, know that it’s a skill anyone can sharpen and master.

Articulating your values helps you to wake up with a sense of purpose that carries you throughout your day, no matter what hiccups or stressors arise.

Research has found that having a purpose in life can lead to a variety of benefits, including reducing anxiety, depression, and stress. Maintaining a sense of purpose in midlife can even predict greater physical well being.

When difficult situations or ethical dilemmas arise, your core values may guide you in your decision making. Your core values can give you clarity during possibly chaotic, confusing times. They lead you to make wise, healthy decisions that could set you up for success in the long term.

What values are already out there?

Online, you’ll find plenty of values lists. For example, the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics lists these five core values to help athletes thrive in all areas of their lives:

  • Integrity: knowing and doing what’s right, including being honest and learning from your mistakes
  • Respect: treating others the way you’d like to be treated, including being accepting, considerate, and encouraging
  • Responsibility: embracing opportunities to contribute, including being helpful and reliable
  • Sportsmanship: bringing your best to all competition in life, including being humble and gracious
  • Servant leadership: serving the common good, including working hard and helping others to grow and succeed

On his website, author James Clear features a list of more than 50 core values. He warns to only pick a handful to focus on, because if everything’s a core value, then nothing’s really a priority.

Strategies to discover your values

There are so many ways to discover your values, which is why we’re sharing an assortment of strategies. You can pick the exercises that resonate with you.

Also, because your core values aren’t set in stone, return to your favorite exercises periodically to rediscover what’s important to you.

Use your peak experiences

Your most meaningful experiences can be clues into your core values. To tap into your peak experiences, Dr. Jennifer Leigh Selig, co-author of “Deep Creativity,” suggests this exercise:

  • Describe a time you felt “high on life.”
  • Draw this experience, even if your drawing skills start and stop with stick figures; this simply provides another perspective.
  • Reflect on this peak experience, considering the values that were being expressed at that time.

Use your emotions

Similar to peak experiences, our emotions can help us answer the difficult question of “what are my core values?” Selig also suggests this collage exercise:

  • Flip through different magazines, looking for images that stir your emotions.
  • Create a collage using these images.
  • After you’ve finished the collage, ask yourself, “What is happening in each picture? What values are being expressed?”

Do a self-audit

According to Gary Chapman, author of the seminal book “The 5 Love Languages,” before we can love someone, we must learn what we personally value. And those values can actually show up in our less-than-positive feelings and experiences. Done right, we can use these seemingly frustrating parts of our lives to pinpoint our core values.

Using Chapman’s words as inspiration, perform a self-audit, considering:

  • What do I get mad about?
  • What do I most complain about?
  • What do I wish I had more of?

Look to your classics

Connecting to your younger self can actually reunite you with values that are deeply embedded in your soul, says Selig. Here’s how, with an exercise from “Deep Creativity”:

  • Think back to when you were a child or teen.
  • Think about your favorite personal classics — books, images, movies, music, or works of art that spoke to you then.
  • Write these classics down on a big piece of paper.
  • Reflect on the values that these classics illustrate, which may still be important to you today.

Pack up your values

Exploring objects you can’t live without may just help you identify the values you can’t live without, either. According to psychologists Diana Hill and Debbie Sorensen in their book “ACT Daily Journal,” start by penning answers to these three questions:

  • If you had to immediately evacuate your home, what important objects would you pack?
  • What do these objects reveal about what you most love?
  • How can you act on this love today?

Use these questions

To further discover your values, author Karen Benke suggests asking yourself these questions, skipping the questions that don’t resonate with you and diving deep into the ones that do with a simple “Why?”:

  • What’s your most prized possession?
  • What’s a sound from nature that calms you?
  • Where do you feel the safest?
  • What was your favorite place to play as a child?
  • What’s your favorite piece of clothing?
  • What’s your favorite game?

Let’s recap: Living your core values

Living a rich, meaningful life starts with discovering your core values. Your core values are qualities that are both the starting blocks and home base for you. These guiding principles help you to prioritize activities, relationships, and projects worthy of your attention and intention — and to know how to respond in challenging times.

To make the most of your values, make them tangible. List your core values. Snap a photo and use it as your phone or computer background. Paste the list around your home and workspace.

And, of course, once you know your values, start living them.

What’s one value-inspired step you can take today? Right now?

Helpful Benefits Of Having Anxiety In Your Twenties

Anxiety sucks. But when you get through the worst of it, you may find that there can be some unexpected positive outcomes. Now, for everyone who’s already prepared to chop my head off for saying this, simmer down. I’m not saying anxiety is easy, or something that anyone ever wants to have. I understand that the “upsides” I discuss below will take some time to get to. All I’m saying is that positive things can come out of what you’re dealing with, and all is not lost. So, that being said, here are 12 things that may help remind you that some goodness can come out of your struggles.

1) You develop a new way of looking at the world.

Anxiety opens your eyes and causes you to see things in a way you’ve never seen them before. It can change the way that you judge certain people, the way you spend your time, and/or the way you talk to the people around you. A lot of the time, anxiety pops the bubble that you’ve been living in up until now. It’s scary, but it forces you to understand things you never would have otherwise.

2) You form a deeper sense of empathy for other people. 

Anxiety makes you feel like you’re not yourself. It overwhelms you, worries you, hangs over you, and sometimes forces you to uproot your life. You understand, in a way that you hadn’t before, what it’s like to feel scared or alone or out of sorts or helpless. In the past, when someone screwed up or acted out, made a mistake or had a meltdown, you may have been tempted to judge them. But anxiety has caused you to think about and observe and see people in a way that you previously had not been able to do. Even if you don’t understand or know what someone is going through, you know what it’s like when someone feels like they’re upside down.

3) Being vulnerable isn’t as difficult for you anymore.

It’s still difficult, because no one likes to be vulnerable. But oftentimes, anxiety can force you to start reaching out more to people out of a sheer need for help and support. Anxiety sometimes makes you feel crazy and restless and in dire need of simple human connections. You’ve learned to stop worrying about your pride and image so much, because receiving love and encouragement from someone is so much better and easier than showing a brave face.

4) Anxiety ends up putting things in perspective for you. 

Once you’ve experienced any kind of anxiety, the path to happiness seems much less complicated. When it feels like you’re drowning inside your own head, unable to tell your thoughts to shut up, you’re not thinking about how you wish you had a higher position at work, or more followers on your social networks, or a long list of celebrity friends. In fact, those are often the things that can spark deep waves of anxiety in the first place. Once you really and truly feel anxiety, career rankings and social status become pretty silly, and all you care about are things like family, friends, and doing things that really matter. It’s not until you’re in the dark that you can truly understand what brings the most light into your life.

5) You often become less attached to things.

Yes, a shopping day or a brand new phone can be comforting, but you’ve realized that the only thing that truly makes you feel more at peace is being around people you care about. When you’re in the middle of a deep bout of anxiety or panic, you’re not wishing for a multimillion dollar mansion, designer clothes, a personal chauffeur, and more money than you know what to do with. All you’re thinking is that you want to have a sense of peace, rid your life of any unnecessary clutter (both physical clutter and non-physical clutter), and surround yourself with the people you love the most. In your darkest moments, the path to being happy and content is not overwhelmed with bright and shiny things. All you want to focus on is holding the hands of the people that bring you the most peace and make you feel the most alive.

6) It can help you to form bonds with people you wouldn’t normally be close with. 

Anxiety is not a rare thing in today’s world, and tons of people go through it. There’s something to be said about going through something and having another person know exactly how you feel and exactly what it’s like, without having to explain anything to them. But dealing with anxiety doesn’t just bring you closer to new people you meet through therapy or support groups or trying a new hobby that you hope will help brighten up your day – it also can bring you closer to people you already knew who you previously thought of simply as mere acquaintances. Anxiety can sometimes lead you to open up and form deep connections with people you wouldn’t have interacted with otherwise.

7) Your mind becomes a lot more focused. 

At this point, you’ve been through enough. You don’t care as much about how your image comes across to people, what is and is not expected of you in society, what you should do to impress other people, etc. You’ve been at the bottom of the pit, an angle that makes most other things seem pretty unimportant. By now, you’ve figured out what and who you want to spend your time on, and what is just a waste of your time.

8) You have a greater appreciation for the happy and joyful moments in your life. 

Anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean you have to lead a miserable life. Once you’ve learned how to treat it and have figured out the best way to handle it when it comes around, you can still maintain a very normal and often happy life. Except this time, you’ve had enough low and dark moments to appreciate, even more than you already did, what it feels like to have true joy, content, excitement, and love in your life.

9) Sometimes, you end up trying things you wouldn’t have tried previously. 

When it comes to dealing with anxiety, people’s suggestions for curbing it are pretty surprising: trying improv, training for a marathon, taking up a new hobby. Basically, people tell you to do things that you’d think would just bring even more anxiety. However, many people have found that putting themselves in nerve-wracking situations actually helps them deal with anxiety, because it teaches them how to handle their nerves and deal with feeling uncomfortable and terrified. The release that comes from doing these types of things is so great that people often fall in love with the very thing they were once afraid of.

10) A lot of other things become a lot less scary. 

Similar to the point above, anxiety helps you with putting things in perspective. When the thing you’re most terrified of is whatever is going on inside your own mind, every thing else slowly becomes less scary, bit by bit by bit. Maybe you’re still scared of public speaking or scuba diving or just going on a date, but you’re able to put your fear in place because you’ve had much more difficult moments where you were a lot more terrified. Learning how to take control of your anxiety instead of letting it take control of you really helps you to understand that you can handle just about anything that comes your way.

11) Your fear of not having control sometimes helps you to gain a stronger sense of control in other areas of your life. 

Because our twenties are so unpredictable, we often let ourselves go in a lot of areas: we drink too much, or we have really poor diets. We work too much or too little. We watch hours of tv instead of getting up and going outside. We let things that we could easily control just slip right through our fingers. Anxiety can often exacerbate this problem, but not if you’re willing to work on your anxiety. Once you’ve decided to start fighting against your anxiety, the fear of not having control that often accompanies anxiety will lead to you doing everything you can to feel more in control. You maintain a much healthier diet, you drink less, you work hard but you learn how to say enough is enough. You exercise, you force yourself to get off the couch and do whatever it is that you need to do to feel stimulated, whether that’s taking a walk or socializing or reading a book. If you’re trying to fight against anxiety, you’ll often find you start subconsciously improving all sorts of areas in your life.

12) You can sense when other people are having a hard time, and you know how to help them. 

You’ve been through it – through the worst parts of anxiety. You know the warning signs and the symptoms and the look people get on their face when they’re mentally present but their mind is a million miles away. It’s become a lot easier for you to sense when someone around you is struggling, even if it’s not specially anxiety that they’re suffering from. You’ve been through enough to know how to recognize it, and reach out and help them. You may not think much of it, but helping someone to feel just a little less scared than you did helps more than you’ll ever know.

There Is Always A Breakdown Before The Breakthrough

I’ve had this topic on the tip of my tongue all day today because I have been fighting battles that I believe are setting me up for greatness.

Obstacles that are molding me, teaching me and perfecting me for the job God has in store for me.

To all my twenty-something warriors, I know you are going through a fight in your life right now and sometimes you doubt you will make it.

You are fighting the urge to give up on school because you don’t have the grades to make it in your program or the stress is slowly beating you down day by day.

You are fighting people who get under your skin and cause you to shed silent tears because of their insensitivity.

You are fighting the demands of a job that pays little to nothing and being in an environment that sometimes overwhelms you.

You are fighting the loneliness that comes along with being single and you wonder when it will be your turn to love.

You are fighting to find yourself in a world that constantly tells you who you should be.

You are fighting feelings of envy that come up when you see others shining on social media when you have been working for years to have a come up of your own.

My dear Millennial, I know that you are always fighting.

I want you to know that not only are you not in this alone, but all of these breakdowns are preparations for your breakthrough, because character cannot be built by taking the easy road and diamonds go through the rough before they shine.

Everything you want, desire, and yearn for is being prepared for you right now. But how can you be the person you desire to be if you are still shaken by someone’s insensitive comments, by haters, by low self-esteem, by bitterness, envy, or negative thoughts and emotions?

How can you be that person when you are constantly shaken by every little thing?

Whether or not you believe in God or a higher power, whatever is out there wants you to be readily prepared for every single obstacle you will face in your life because there is a strength and a character shift that must take place before you can get to that place.

So even though you doubt, even though you toil, please DO NOT give up on yourself today.

Life will happen, bad days will come, people will try and bring you down, you will cry, and you will want to throw in the towel, but quitting is not an option because you are closer than you think you are to your breakthrough.

Because in life, the small things are no comparison to the grand scheme and that grand scheme is your purpose.

So with this in mind, know that you are bigger than the winds that threaten to shake you, to rile you up and to ultimately cause you to collapse.


So, I don’t know who this is for. I don’t know who went through a breakup today, who struggled with thoughts of suicide, who is thinking of dropping out of school, who is fed up with being fed up and who is searching for answers in this thing we call life. 

I don’t know who is on the brink of quitting even before they have begun the race.

But if there is one thing I know for sure is that a few breakdowns will not stop you from rising yet again, because you have what it takes to get through this moment, this day, this week, this year and this life. 

You might not feel like you do everyday and as an adult we don’t always have someone there to remind us.

So I will be the one to remind you today:

Rise, dear one.

Shine in who you are and don’t doubt that there is a great plan beyond all of your struggles.

Because even with some breakdowns, nothing, and I mean nothing, can stop your breakthrough. 

Read This When You Feel Tired Of Everything

To the one who feels tired of everything,

Let’s first get this out of the way: it is okay that you are feeling this way. It is completely valid to feel tired. It is okay to feel that you lack the strength to go forward. It is okay to question the point in trying. It is okay that you don’t feel the same motivation you had in the beginning. It is all okay.

It is okay that you feel stuck. It is okay that you feel uncertainty. It is okay that you feel this way, this is all part of being human.

It is okay to feel frustrated when you have yet to accomplish your goals. It is okay to feel that you can’t, and you need to take that step back. It is okay to feel emotions other than happiness. It is okay to talk about what you feel. It is okay to let your walls down to the people you trust. It is okay to feel hurt, it is okay to feel pain. It is okay that you want to stay in bed for the day. It is okay that you take that step back to care for yourself.

It is okay.

But do you know what is not okay?

It is not okay if you question your worth based on your performance. It is not okay if you degrade who you are for giving yourself a break. It is not okay to hurl verbal abuse at yourself when you wouldn’t to anyone else in your situation. It is not okay to pretend everything is fine when you feel it is not. It is not okay to keep it all to yourself when you know that talking it out will help you. It is not okay to hide behind your responsibilities to avoid the real problem.

It is okay to take a break. It is okay to feel tired about everything.

But it is not okay to allow yourself to stay that way.

It is not okay to believe that you are broken. Beauty does not come from being broken, but rather, beauty comes from what you choose to do with the broken pieces.

It is not okay to believe you are a lost cause. You have tried before, and you will one day try again.

To the one that feels tired of everything,

Know that it is okay to feel this way, but it is not okay to stay this way. Know that you are running this race at your own pace, and not the pace the world tells you to. Know that even when you think no one understands, you are not alone. Before anything and anyone else, you owe it to yourself to get through this. Know that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

There’s Nothing Better Than Rebuilding Yourself

There’s nothing better than rebuilding yourself and rebuilding your life no matter how old you are, no matter how long it took you to finally take that step because if there’s one battle that’s truly worth fighting, it’s this one. Rebuilding yourself after so many setbacks and downfalls. After too many failures and wrong turns. After too many years of being passive and complaining about your life without really doing anything about it.

There’s nothing better than deciding that you still have a say, you still have a choice, you still have a voice you can use to shift your life into another direction. It’s easy to stay stuck in the mental prison you’ve caged yourself in and it’s easier to blame the circumstances but no matter how impossible it seems to get out of that prison, there’s always a way out, there’s always a hidden path and sometimes the door is wide open in front of you but you’re just too afraid to get out because you don’t want to face any more disappointments. You don’t want to suffer again.

There’s nothing better than realizing that some things happen as clear signs from the universe that you need to do something. Sometimes God doesn’t answer your prayers in the way you asked for them but he shows you the way to them. He shows you that what you’re asking for is not out of reach but maybe you need to cross a few rivers or a few bridges or learn a few more lessons to get to them.

Sometimes he gives you all the tools you need instead so you can manifest your own prayers and sometimes he sends you clues and messages that tell you that he’s on your side. That the path you’re on is the right one for you. That this is exactly what you needed to learn after everything fell apart or after hitting rock bottom.

There’s nothing better than rebuilding yourself because it prepares you for all the challenges ahead. It prepares you for heartbreak and loss. It prepares you for all the moments that you would normally fear. It gives you independence, strength, resilience and freedom and somehow these tools help you survive anything in life. Knowing you can count on yourself, knowing that you can take care of yourself, knowing that you have the self-awareness to get yourself out of your darkness or your prison or your doubts. Knowing that at any moment you can choose to leave a situation or a person and you will be just fine.

There’s nothing better than rebuilding yourself because once you decide to do that, ironically, everything falls back together. Everything kind of redeems itself. Everything patches itself up again including your broken heart and your broken spirit.

What Healing Actually Means

Healing means confronting your own issues so you can fix them. We all have silent battles, those that we refuse to talk to others about or even admit them to ourselves. Maybe because we don’t want to face the reality that we are broken. Maybe you got hurt before and someone left you devastated. Maybe you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship that you’re in. Maybe you don’t see yourself worthy enough. Maybe you are pretending to be strong but the truth is you are struggling inside and you can’t find the strength to fix what’s been broken for a long time. Well, let me tell you this. You can never heal from your own wounds if you won’t acknowledge that you have issues to work on. Healing requires addressing what’s wrong to make things right. 

Healing means accepting who you are — flaws and all. Stop beating yourself up for not being able to accomplish things at a certain point. Stop beating yourself up when things don’t go as you planned. Stop beating yourself up for not being perfect. You’re human. You make mistakes. You stumble. You’re human and you can never be perfect no matter how you try to be. You’re flawed, but who isn’t? You can never heal if you can’t accept who you really are. Healing requires self-love and self-acceptance. 

Healing means being scared but doing it anyway. You might have been traumatized by a certain thing and it has made you box yourself because you think that way nobody could harm you. You found your safety in there. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you are healed. You have to let go of the fear that the past is going to repeat itself. Of course, you can never see what happens ahead. But learning how to deal with fear and being able to face it with a brave heart will eventually take you to a place of healing. Because healing requires you putting yourself out there even if it scares you.

Healing means letting go of pain. You might have your heart broken a million times and you find it hard to trust anyone or even let anyone in. You might have always found yourself giving too much, loving too much, and that people took advantage of your kind heart. But I am here to tell you, they all just played a part in your life to make you stronger and wiser. And their role is over. What happened in the past shouldn’t interfere with your future. Let go of what hurt you. Because if you keep holding on to the pain of your past, you are never going to be truly happy. You are never going to heal from what you won’t even let go of. 

Healing means forgiving those who hurt you including yourself. You might have done stupid things when you were young, or you might even have resentment toward yourself, your friends, your parents, or even to your past relationships. But if you want to heal, you have to forgive those who wounded you. You have to forgive them not because they deserve it. But because you want to be healed and free yourself from people and things that once broke you. Forgive them and forgive yourself, too. 

Healing means allowing yourself to love again. It means letting yourself trust again. It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable to others and believing that not everyone will hurt you. And if someone does, it only means you understand that life comes with challenges not to break you again, but to teach you lessons and make you an even stronger human being. 

To The Girl Who Feels Completely Lost

I am writing you this letter because I know, more than anyone else in this world, how it feels to be lost.

You have dreams and ambitions and you are the kind of woman who doesn’t give up until she has achieved what she wants, but for now, you feel like your path is lost, and even though there’s a lot you want to do, you don’t know how or where to start.

You know exactly what you want: A life full of adventures, helping others to feel good about themselves, and finding true love. You want to give back to people who need it and also, you want to make your family proud of you.

You don’t have to feel guilty for knowing what you want, even if everyone around you claims that you are immature, selfish, too picky or have too high of expectations.

I understand the power that those words have on your mind. I know they have slowly killed your essence and that’s the reason why you’re in your room crying yourself to sleep every night.

Also, I know that you are not okay. I wasn’t either, but if there’s anything that I can tell you is that please don’t ever lose hope. Sooner or later, things will get better, even if right now you feel like you are going to be a failure for the rest of your life, always obligated to settle for what’s second best.

You don’t have to feel like you have to do everything before a certain age or need to have everything figured out before this year ends. Take your time and breathe.

Don’t feel guilty for taking your time, instead, embrace it and appreciate it, because once you start working, studying or learning a new hobby, you won’t have enough time for doing all those little things that today you take for granted like watching your favorite Netflix show or taking long walks with your dog.

The last thing I want to tell you and encourage you to do it is to pray. God is always there and He listens to our prayers and tears, even if we feel like He is distant or absent. He has a way of making things work, but this happens only at His perfect timing.

Meanwhile, walk closer to Him and His word, and you will see how little by little, your mess will turn into testimony and your battles will turn into victories.

It’s not easy, I know it, but being patient, having hope and trusting God will make everything worth it.


The girl who once felt lost too

For The Women Who Feel Like ‘Too Much’

For the women who feel like ‘too much’ – you know exactly who you are.

You’re the ones who grew up always feeling different – feeling crazy, feeling brash, feeling just a little too passionate and fierce. You’re the ones who’ve spent your whole lives being told to bite your tongue, to sit on your hands, to settle down and shut up and quell your restless mind for just long enough to blend in.

To find your place within the calmer, cooler crowds.

You’re the ones who’ve always struggled to regulate your spirit. The ones who’ve felt the pull between the wild and the tame – the never-ending yearning to go and yet the underlying longing to stay. The constant need to explore further and yet the quiet desire to settle down.

You’re the ones who can’t find peace within yourself. Who have always wanted to try harder, run faster, push yourself further than the world around you ever expected you to go. You’re the ones with the expectations so high that even you can never live up to yourself. Even you can sometimes find your mind to be ‘too much’ for your body.

And yet you’re also the one who’s irreplaceable.

You’re the one who may always be a little too passionate, a little too reckless and too intense.

But you’re also the one who loves the hardest. Who fights the longest. Who refuses to cash in her chips and give up when the rest of the crowd has laid their swords down and gone home.

You’re the one who keeps pushing for the changes that need making. Who won’t sit down or shut up or settle down when what the stakes are rising higher than you’re ready for. You’re the one who’s not afraid to stand up when the rest of the world is staying silent.

You’re the one who may always be ‘too much’ for the people who are calm and complacent and steady.

But you’ll never be too much for the fierce ones.

You’ll never be too much for the ones who burn as brightly, who reel as wildly, who move as quickly as you.

You’ll never be too much for the people who want to experience the whole of life fully – arms wide open and spirit braced for whatever’s coming their way. You will always be just the right amount for the people who’s fire matches your own.

But there’s a catch-22 when it comes to finding them.

Because they’re not the ones sitting down. Shutting up. And listening to what they have been told their entire life to do.

They are the ones running ahead of the pack.

And if it’s not too much for you to handle,
It is up to you to run and catch up.

47 Ways To Practice Micro-Healing In Your Everyday Life

1. Do something every day that your future self will thank you for, even if it is small.

2. Do something every day that your past self would be impressed by, even if it feels easy now.

3. Start saying “thank you” for what you want as though it has already happened. Write it down, say it out loud. Even once is enough.

4. Learn the power of momentum. Start with small tasks in the day and let it build.

5. Make one tiny shift in the right direction. Drink one half glass of water. Walk around the block. Take one deep breath.

6. When you want to cry, cry. When you want to be angry, be angry. When you want to be sad, be sad. When you want to be happy, don’t ruin it. Processing in real time is how you avoid emotional issues in the future.

7. Find healthy, productive distractions.

8. Unfollow every single person who makes you feel bad about yourself.

9. See your discomfort as your subconscious way of telling yourself that you are capable of more, and better, than you have at this current moment.

10. Junk journal. Open up a notebook and scribble down exactly how you feel. Stop trying to invalidate them with positivity. “Emotions, once felt, tend to dissolve on their own.”

11. Let yourself dream. Imagine what you want to build and create next in your life.

12. Give yourself something to look forward to. Plan a trip, make a date, or take yourself out somewhere.

13. If there is something you need to change in your life, start today. Look for new jobs. Write a letter to someone you need to apologize to. If time is not resolving the matter, you must.

14. Do not believe everything that you think.

15. Do not trust everything that you feel.

16. Think back on everything you worried about that turned out to be nothing.

17. Think back on all those times you had strong, overwhelming feelings that you didn’t really understand. Sometimes, you just had to learn how to let them pass.

18. Do something each day that helps you get to know yourself better. Write down what you like and what you don’t. Identify your values, your beliefs, your hopes, your fears.

19. Spend time with people who you “click” with.

20. Do something for someone without asking for anything in return.

21. Disconnect from people who don’t add to your life. Don’t be afraid to disengage.

22. Read something that makes you think about the world differently.

23. Note what comes effortlessly to you, this is what you’re here to do.

24. Note what is interesting to you, this is what you’re here to learn about.

25. Note what you struggle with the most, this is what you’re here to master.

26. Learn to stand up for yourself in a productive way. Instead of slinging insults or being passive aggressive, learn to speak your truth with dignity and grace.

27. Recognize that whatever bothers you most about other people can reveal the unconscious truth about yourself. Use every discomfort as an opportunity to heal your own wounds.

28. Lean in deeply to that which brings you joy.

29. Go out of your way to make time for people who you really care about.

30. Create a vision board, either on paper or online. Map out what you want to create and what you want your life to look like.

31. Learn from people who you admire. Use their lives as a guide for what you want to do.

32. Learn from people you dislike. Use their lives as a blueprint for what you do not want to do.

33. When you feel the impulse to judge another person, remind yourself gently that every time you do so, you only continue to narrow your idea of what’s acceptable in life.

34. State what you are feeling, claim it and accept it, and take action in the face of it.

35. Interrogate one negative thought. Instead of running on autopilot, stop and ask yourself: Is this true? Do I know for a fact this is true?

36. Better yet, ask yourself this: Does this thought move my life in the direction I would like it to go?

37. If all you were able to do today was wake up and keep breathing, that’s okay. Give yourself permission to rest.

38. Make a to-do list then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again. You should be left with the one or two most imperative tasks. Focus on those and only those.

39. Meditate on how far you’ve come. Make a list of all the things you have, do and feel that you never imagined would be possible.

40. Meditate on how much you’ve overcome. Consider everything that happened in the past that you swore you’d never get over, and note that you always did.

41. Express genuine gratitude. Find something you are actually happy to have.

42. If feeling good is too far from where you’re at, make it your goal to feel neutral.

43. Sleep when you are tired. Eat when you are hungry.

44. Working until you’re at the point of exhaustion at which time you collapse and feel totally paralyzed is not “working hard,” it’s abusing yourself.

45. You’re allowed to be angry and upset. You are not allowed to take angry and upset actions that could impact your safety or quality of life for years to come.

46. Write yourself a note in which you outline exactly what to do when you have a panicky feeling. When you’re thinking clearly, tell yourself what to do when you’re not.

47. Remember that you’re mortal. All of this will pass. No time is guaranteed. You are not stuck forever. Life moves quickly and it does not stop. You are only here for a moment. Try to savor it as much as you can.

This is Your 30 Day Badass Challenge: It’s Time to Not Just Live But Thrive Like the Champion You Are


Don’t be afraid of challenges. They may sound intimidating, and they can be scary, but only if you let them be. Tell yourself that you will do this, and then go out there and do it. For real. Life is full of challenges, they will test your will and strength, they will reveal your true character, and you will always come out feeling a bit wiser and bit stronger.


Let’s start with something simple. Disconnect from the net. Social media is great- everyone loves a good cat video and Instagram, but too much time online is taking away from time to live your life and be your best self. See how long you can go without checking your phone, an hour, three, five? Turn it into a day, and definitely don’t grab your phone right before bed…we’ve all lost way too much sleep doing that.


If you are adamant about staying connected, then connect with people who inspire you and who you aspire to be like. Find the people in the world, not just your inner circle, who are making the kinds of moves you hope to be making someday. Let their successes motivate you to push for your own success.


Bare your soul to yourself…what are you truly seeking to accomplish? What is your mission in life? What is your purpose? We all have one, sometimes it comes to you, sometimes it takes some figuring out. To be your ultimate best badass self, you need to take the time and the chance to see yourself as you truly are, and what you hope you accomplish in this lifetime.


Once you’ve found that purpose, never let it out of your sight. The universe will throw distractions your way, obstacles will pop up out of nowhere. Some days you will feel dejected, afraid, unmotivated, incapable. But know that the universe only gives you what you can handle, so you’ve got this. Stand strong and continue onward.


Let go of anything and anyone that does not bring you joy. Why hold on to something that does not add any positive value to your life? Letting go is difficult, but 100% necessary. As you remove the weight that is holding you down, you will find solace and a renewed passion for life and for yourself.


This one is crucial. Be your own best friend. Every morning, look in the mirror and give yourself a genuine compliment. Start today and keep this going. By the end of this challenge, seeing the good things about yourself will be as easy and routine as brushing your teeth.


Stop making so many excuses. Sometimes, the only thing standing in your way is you. We all have the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce, it’s an injustice to ourselves to not use those hours wisely, making moves and hustling for our dreams.


A healthy mind and body are keys to a healthy life. Exercising isn’t something everyone enjoys doing, so find some other physical activity, if the gym doesn’t work for you. In order to give your best, you have to look and feel your best too, mentally, physically, and emotionally.


Which brings me to Day 9, take stock of what’s on your mind. Are they all things you can affect or control? If something isn’t, breathe, and learn to let it go. There’s already so much you’re responsible for: yourself, family, a job, hobbies, pets, etc. Don’t add on even more to your plate by doing the worrying about something that can’t, won’t, or hasn’t happened yet. Let the universe do the worrying about those things for you.


Make a list of all the things you have been wanting and waiting to do but haven’t yet. Why didn’t you? What was stopping you? Go out there and do them all despite what you may think the cons are. You wanted to adopt a cat? Go for it. You wanted to write a book? Start. You wanted to quit your job? Do it. You’ll never know what the outcome will be if you don’t lay down your fear and just go for it.


Network. We have so many opportunities in a day to meet someone new: standing in line for coffee, at the company mixer, at brunch with friends of friends. So today, get out of your comfort zone and strike up a conversation with someone new. Business settings aren’t the only place to make connections. Every time you meet someone, you’re giving yourself the chance to make a positive connection, that could turn into something else. As long as you follow what’s next.


Put your best foot forward. It’s time to clean out that closet. Get rid of any clothes you forgot you even owned, and anything you haven’t worn in a month. Then, have a fashion show for yourself and put together outfits that make you feel and look like the badass bawse you are. First impressions and good appearances are important and make a difference. Even more important is how you feel in your clothes, you should wear what you like and what feels good to you, not what society deems is fashionable. Badasses don’t care about societal fashion norms.


Learn a new skill. Education doesn’t have to be limited to the classroom. With the help of the internet and the library, there’s so much you could engage in and discover. Once a month, devote some time to discovery and add to your toolbox of skills with something different. Invest in yourself.


Say no. Turning things down or saying no to things you don’t want to do isn’t mean or disrespectful. In order to fully live YOUR best life, you have to stop being a people pleaser and doing things simply only for the sake of other people. This is draining and unhealthy.


Make a list of things you will not tolerate in any relationship. In order to nurture and grow the relationships you need in your life, you have to first make a note of what isn’t right or meant for you.


Always be true to you. Society, culture, family, friends, partners, they will all try to have an opinion of who and what you should be. Never let anyone try to force you to be anything less than who and what you are.


Stop caring what other people think about you- it’s not your problem. Focusing on what others think of you is an added pressure and stress that no one really needs. Its difficult to stop caring, but doable.


Become best friends with feeling uncomfortable. If you’re not stepping outside the familiar, you’re doing it wrong. The best things happen when you go outside of your comfort zone. This is how you grow, and growth is necessary.


Stop second guessing and overthinking things because you need them to be perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist for anyone. No, the girl on Instagram doesn’t have a perfect life. No, that person doesn’t have the perfect job. There are ups and downs to everything. Release the notion that you have to wait for perfect. Instead, go out there and build the life you want.


Stop telling yourself you’re too busy. You’re not. No one is. We make time for the things that are truly important to us. So if you keep procrastinating on something because “you’re too busy”, you really just don’t think it’s important enough for you. Analyze your priorities and pay attention to the things and people you keep putting off.


Put yourself first. Self-love is not selfish. Focusing on your goals and dreams is not selfish, it’s smart and necessary. If you don’t treat yourself right, the universe won’t either.


Stop feeding into negative thoughts. Those anxious thoughts telling you that you’re not enough or won’t make it? They’re just thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations. Write a love letter and a thank you note to yourself. If you put positivity out into the universe, the universe will deliver positivity back to you.


Visualize. Put your dreams out into the universe and manifest them into reality. If you only focus on what could go wrong, then that’s all you’re going to get in return.


Don’t let your job be the most important thing in your life. There is more to you than just your job description and title.


Never settle. The minute you settle for less, because it’s easy or because someone told you so, you’re telling the world that you are okay receiving less than what you deserve. Always aim high and keep your priorities and standards in check.


Do not shrink or hide for the sake of someone else’s comfort. Be you, unapologetically.


Take it easy on the timeline. Everyone goes through life at their own pace. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s and forgive yourself if you’re not yet where you want to be.


Celebrate all the victories, including the small ones.


Know that things happen when you stop waiting and start doing.