It’s okay to fall apart. Actually, it’s necessary to fall apart. It’s necessary to crumble on the bathroom floor, the cold tiles pressed against your burning skin. It’s necessary to drown in your tears, to scream so loud that the devils within you are afraid. It’s necessary to lose yourself completely — to lose your compass, lost at sea, no sight of the shore, in the midst of a storm so angry, you don’t know if you’ll make it out alive. It’s okay to feel like, for the first time in your life, you have no plan on what to do next.
It’s okay to feel your world shatter. It’s necessary to feel your pain, and to relive the pain of the past. To no longer numb yourself to your truth. It’s necessary to question if there even is a God, because if there were, why would He or She or They or It let you suffer like this? It’s necessary to fall into the darkness of yourself, to face the mess within you that you deem to hate. You turn a blind eye from your shadows but they follow you wherever you go.
Let yourself burn, baby. Let yourself burn up in flames, let yourself be destroyed, let everything you once knew turn to ash. Let yourself feel it all. You are not dying, you are being reborn. Again and again, you are being reborn. Destruction breeds creation. And when you are ready, you will rise from those ashes, anew, revived, the heart of your fire in your wings, and you will fly again. It is necessary to fall apart. You have proven to yourself over and over that you can and you will pick up the pieces and create a new picture, a new story, one more vibrant than the last. Trust in your transformation. And keep falling apart.