Maybe the things that don’t work the way you want them to or the prayers that go unanswered are all God’s way of saving you. Maybe the things you ached for were not really going to give you any peace or pleasure or comfort. Maybe all the things that broke you actually built you up to believe that your heart can sometimes betray you and your plans sometimes fail you and that’s okay.
It’s okay to want something so desperately only to realize it wasn’t good for you. It’s okay to admit that the things you fought for didn’t fight as ruthlessly for you because maybe this is God’s way of teaching you how to trust him, that if you let go, if you trust in his timing, if you don’t try so hard to rush things all the time, they will eventually fall into place.
Maybe the people you get attached to when you know they’re wrong for you are just teaching you the importance of letting go, of detaching from something you desire so much so you can find something better. Maybe they’re teaching you that temptations are not always gratifying, that some temptations look good from afar but leave you feeling empty when you get too close. Maybe your heart moved for the wrong people so you can find your way back to God or back to yourself. Maybe God wants your journey to be about yourself for now not about love and that’s why he wants your heart to belong to you or he’s teaching you how to be patient with your heart until it finds what it truly deserves.
Maybe God’s way of saving you feels like he’s failing you. Maybe God’s way of protecting you feels like he’s putting you in danger and maybe every time you ask for peace, you find yourself going into war but you make it out alive, maybe bruised or tired or drained. Maybe lost or defeated but you make it out alive and that means you’re still meant to be here to continue fighting whatever it is that’s stopping you from growing, whatever it is you’re not willing to let go of and whatever it is that’s keeping you from finding your truth or your calling or your healing.
Maybe things don’t get easier because you’re supposed to learn some lessons the hard way so you can protect yourself from further damage. Maybe some things need to shatter you so you can find the inner strength to end things that cause you pain no matter how much you worked hard for them or wished for them or needed them. Maybe people need to disappoint you or shock you so you can continue finding love and validation inside of yourself. So you can be your own home instead of the home you made for these people inside your heart only for them to leave. Maybe everyone who left was teaching you how to love being on your own so you can stop searching for someone else to complete you.
Maybe everything is working out the way it should be and God’s trying to teach you to stop holding on so tightly to the pretty picture in your head of how things are supposed to be and trust him to paint a marvelous picture instead. Trust him to turn the picture inside your head into a masterpiece.