Pain can manifest in many ways, and it can rob you of your health. Perhaps somewhere along the way, you had a relationship that didn’t work out. Maybe you were disappointed by someone, or you concealed traumatic events deep down in the psyche of your mind, until one day, your body shut down. You’ve done all the research and steps for self-healing, and you feel worse by the day.
You eat healthy, exercise, and outwardly do all the right things for a healthy body. Why can’t I recover quickly? Why are my symptoms getting worse by the day? Inside you feel defeated and depressed. How many things can God strip me of before I say, “I can’t take it anymore, this is not fair!”
It is then when you are at the end of your rope that you ask the question, “What are you trying to teach me?”
For me, it took a gradual ladder of physical pain to realize that this is a pattern for me. My body reacts by shutting down when I am stressed or keeping deep-seated hurt inside of me. How do I recognize this and move forward? How do I release the trauma of my past? Now that I understand how holding on to people or past events can hold energy in my body in a negative way, how do I begin the journey of healing?
I think I just did. I admitted that even though I believed I released and let go years ago, I hadn’t.
Things were not progressing for me as they should. I struggled financially, I struggled in relationships, and I struggled with self-worth.
Somewhere along the way, I believed that love was associated with pain and heartbreak. I must be feeling vulnerability, fear, and anguish deep inside. I handled that pain somehow, but more in the ways of disassociation.
I recognize now that I need to clear the fear of intimacy, pain, and betrayal on a cellular level. That message that love means pain is no longer accepted. I am moving through anger and resentment. I am moving through sadness, embarrassment, and fear. I am releasing all those negative memories that are holding me hostage. It is my God-given right to be loved, and I have so much love to give.
I deserve that joy; I can handle the pain if it happens.
The joy is worth the risk. I have learned things from past experiences. I am allowing love and the need to block it or hide away from it. I am allowing love to find me.
But first, I need to acknowledge the pain. The events that have taken place were hard, I wish they never happened. The experiences continue to play over in my mind. These memories tend to be triggering and I relive the pain. Why do I keep doing this? A part of me says, if I rewind and play one more time, maybe I will figure things out? Maybe, I am just looking for clues hoping to remember something important and then it will be safe to let go.
All these reasons why I can’t be done with it? It’s like my tape recorder reliving the upset feelings. What I have learned is that I am clearing this need to relive or be triggered by these memories.
It is unfortunate what happened, it sucked, but it’s in the past, and I got through it. The proof is that I am still here no matter how horrible it was.
I am setting myself free to feel peace. I choose to love, honour, and respect myself. I am revealing the truth of my pain; I am walking through that hurt to see the value in myself. I am understanding that it is okay to feel pain and then release it to allow love to come forward.
We are magnets to our thoughts and vice versa.
Our minds can hold on to traumatic events that cause obstacles in our trajectory to move forward. There may be times that you feel like giving up; dig deep through the mental and physical anguish. Allow yourself to be quiet and ask the question, “What are you trying to tell me?” There will always be an answer once you quiet your mind.
Be kind to your past hurt. Do not drive over it, drive through it – acknowledge it and feel the feelings associated with the experience. Then let go. It’s okay to let go – you have much more life to live with happiness waiting for you. Believe!