This Is Your Reminder To Slow Down And Trust Your Timing

There’s no rush.

Naturally, we compare ourselves and our journey to other people’s paths. It’s our instinctual human tendency to be loved, adored, and cherished; thus, we judge our own worth by the external validation that we receive from others while not fully realizing that our lives are no longer our own to figure out.

But this is your reminder to breathe, slow down, and go at your own pace.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in life because you’re not exactly where you want to be right now. This enormous pressure that we create for ourselves may carry a heavy burden on our shoulders and ultimately affect the things in our lives that matter most — our health, our relationships, our passions, and our ability to be present in this moment. All the things cannot be replaced as time goes on.

In my own life, there have been so many times where I’ve caught myself becoming anxious over a future version of myself that I wish to dictate and control the outcome of. This feeling of ‘control’ often stems from a lack of true metrics in which we are judging ourselves by. We desperately want to live up to other people’s standards of what they believe to be happiness and success, when really, we need to foster and cultivate our own standards for what we want to know as success and happiness.

You do not need to prove anything to anyone — you are more than enough as you are now. While you can always grow to become a better individual — a better version of who you are now — let’s not take away the fact that you deserve to be proud of who you are today and who you’ve become through all the tribulations of your life thus far.

Breathe. Slow down. Take a moment for yourself. Gain perspective. Trust your path. Trust yourself. These are the foundations of a life well-lived that stems from your worth being based on who you are now inside, not from what’s outside of you.

Because at the end of the day, what’s the rush?

In the end, we all end up in the exact same place. And while this may be a scary thing to think about at first, it’s also enlightening to know that we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves — we just need to be real with ourselves and what we really want in our lives.

Choose your life. Don’t allow others to choose it for you.

It Will Fall Apart Before It Falls Into Place

You might wake up one day in agony at the life that is now yours, thinking to yourself: How did I get here? How did one or two or several bad decisions lead to this? Will I ever feel the way I once did?

Us humans, we take things for granted. Although we try our best to savour the good times, it only takes a perspective shift a year later for us to compare every risk we’ve taken, every mistake we’ve made, every person we should’ve parted ways with, every conversation that should’ve ended earlier. And it’s normal to feel this way. Sometimes our struggles amplify and we aren’t equipped to deal with them because they shake us to our core.

Adulthood comes with its own sets of challenges and the reality is they can break us. And there will be many times you’re laying on your bedroom floor staring into space in disbelief that you’re living this way. You might dissociate as a coping mechanism when everything gets overwhelming.

But this sequence of events is not permanent.

You will adapt; you will grow. You will learn to manage your new normal and you will become stronger because of it. When it feels like everything has come crashing down, it’s because something better is coming and you are being prepared for this next stage of your life.

Allow yourself patience, understanding, and grace. Sit with your suffering until the rebirth ensues, because it will. Once you’ve experienced the lowest of emotions, there emerges a resilience that cannot be bought—a force so powerful it will set the tone moving forward for all the challenges life will bring in the future.

You’ll need to trust this process, as difficult as that could be. Believe that better things are coming and that everything is falling apart so better things can come into your life—so situations, people, and places that are aligned with your values can find you.

And they will. Just give it time.

This struggle is not permanent.

You’ve Survived All The Moments You Thought You’d Never Get Through

This moment seems impossible. You’re in the thick of your anxieties and don’t know where a solution will come from. Frankly, some days you don’t know how you’ll make it. This is your reminder that you’ve survived 100% of the moments you thought you’d never get through. 

This doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting. This doesn’t mean that most days you can’t see the way forward. It simply means that you did exactly what you were supposed to do: Survive.

It doesn’t matter how messy it was. You survived beautifully. We don’t celebrate that enough. We’re told that survival mode isn’t enough, and yes, while we want to thrive, this also takes time and healing. Have you ever stepped back and said, “Wow, look at how far I’ve come”? And I don’t mean in a hurried, dismissive way, but in a way that wrenches your gut, drops you to your knees, and breaks down the pain? In a way that melts the resistance, and allows you to say with pride, “Yes, I did that.” You did exactly what you were supposed to: survive any means necessary. 

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” know that everything is right. You were looking for connection. As humans, that’s what we’re supposed to do. You survived, and now it’s time to work through the process of untangling those survival pathways. Gently. Sometimes we get stuck along the way because we think that we’re not doing or being enough. We tell ourselves that we’re not making any progress. We get discouraged, but please remember that you can have feelings of despair and still be on the right path. You can change your thoughts. You can change moods. You can recover from any circumstance and take control of your life.

I know at times it feels like you’re not making any progress. I know at times you feel utterly alone, but please remember that you survived 100% of the moments you thought you’d never get through. 

The Only Way To Truly Heal Is To Keep Fighting For Yourself

Those who have been on their healing journey for years now would tell you that they have tried it all: moving to a new city, seeking therapy, reading all the self-help books, getting over their own fears, taking risks, moving out, leaving that toxic relationship, quitting their jobs… and the list goes on. They would tell you that they have followed every rule in the book and added their own spin on it, but those who have truly conquered the healing journey will tell you that the most important rule is to keep fighting for yourself. That is the winning rule, everything else is just secondary.

You can change everything in your life and go to the best therapists, but there will be times when you will have to face your biggest fears alone. There will be times when you have to fight the toughest battles alone. There will be bad days when you don’t have anyone to call and you’ll only have yourself. There will be times when everyone in your life has done their job and it will be time to do yours because your main job begins, not when everything is going right, but when everything goes wrong and you’ve used up all the tools that could help you. Your main job begins when you’ve studied the whole book and now it’s time to take the test.

Healing doesn’t mean that everything in your life will magically start to go right, it means that you’ll have to learn how to fight for yourself when everything is going wrong. When you’ve tried so hard for something that fell apart. When you’ve invested so much time in something that didn’t work out. When you gave too much to someone who ended up using you. When you’ve trusted someone with all your heart and they thanked you by breaking every promise. These are the moments when everything you’ve tried so hard to heal from comes crashing down on you. These are the moments when you question everything you’ve worked on and believed in. These are the moments that have the power to paralyse you when you are so close to the finish line.

Healing doesn’t mean anything when you don’t practice it during hard times. It doesn’t mean anything when you don’t fight against the same things that broke you in the first place. It doesn’t mean anything when you don’t counteract all the triggers that evoke your self-destructive behaviors. It only counts when you are faced with the worst and you handle it differently this time around. When you choose to fight for yourself instead of giving up and going back to the person you used to be.

Because it’s easy to fight for yourself when you’re happy, when you’re winning, or when you’re being loved or praised for your success, but it’s hard when you’re beating yourself up or when you’ve messed up something good or when you’ve let yourself down, because trust me, nothing will heal you during these moments but yourself. No one will be able to stop your limiting beliefs or negative thoughts from permeating your mind except for you. No one will understand the magnitude of your worries or fears or pain like you do. So you can only heal by fighting for yourself over and over again, especially when it’s the hardest thing to do. You have to be the only one cheering yourself on, especially when you’re losing.

You may not carry that self-help book everywhere you go and you can’t always call your therapist anytime. You may not always have supportive friends or parents who can guide you, and this is why you have to learn how to fight for yourself so you can heal on your own, and if you do it right, your life will drastically change. 

30 Validating Phrases People Need To Hear When They’re Hurting

Emotional validation is about recognizing and accepting another person’s emotional experience. The opposite is emotional invalidation, where we dismiss, ignore, or judge another’s feelings. We’ve all been there. When someone completely ignores what we have to say we feel like we don’t fundamentally matter. Let’s be clear, validating each other’s feelings doesn’t mean that we agree with them. It simply means that we value their viewpoint and recognize that what they’re experiencing is very real to them. Sometimes that’s all we want in conversation—to be heard, acknowledged, and feel like a person of worth.

Here are some emotionally validating (and hope-filled) words you can say…

1. I don’t understand everything you’re going through, but I’m here for you.

2. Do you want me to listen or give advice?

3. You don’t have to do or be anything for me right now. 

4. Don’t worry about anything right now. I’ve got you.

5. So what I hear you saying is? Is that correct?

6. Show/Tell me how you want to be loved.

7. I don’t have all the answers, but we’ll figure out a way together. 

8. You don’t have to reply; I’m just checking in on you.

9. I remember the time you made me smile.

10. I remember the time you cheered me up.

11. You’re valuable. I want you to remember that.

12. You made a mistake, and that’s okay. Let’s work it out together.

13. You’re not feeling like yourself right now, and I understand.

14. When your depression lifts…

15. You’ve been strong for so long. It’s not a weakness to break down. 

16. I believe in you.

17. I still love you.

18. Hold on. I want to give you my undivided attention.

19. You’ve been a great friend/partner/parent.

20. I appreciate you so much.

21. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Do you want to talk about it?

22. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. How can we fix this? 

23. What you’re feeling right now is valid, and I see you.

24. I’m sorry I hurt you.

25. Let’s do this and call it an act of hope.

26. You don’t have to hold back your emotions to make me feel comfortable.

27. I’m committed to working this out.

28. One day you’ll look back on this moment, and it will seem insignificant compared to all you’ve accomplished.

29. That must be so frustrating.

30. I can see how you would feel that way, and it’s valid.

Today, I Hope You Take A Chance On Yourself

Every day you are presented with a chance.

With a new opportunity to advance. To pull yourself from the darkness and build up your tanking self-esteem. A chance to take your supplements, finish that fifteen-minute at-home workout before class starts, and listen to a new episode of your favourite podcast. An opportunity to say “so long” to the friends who bring out the worst in you, and to say “yes” to that two-month retreat in the desert. 

You are given the ability to revise the narrative you have been telling yourself about how terrible your life is. About how you are the victim of your life’s circumstances, and you will never find a way out because you have been cursed from the day you were born. A hopeless, helpless body floating through an awful life. 

Today, you are presented with the chance to tell yourself that the only way out is through. 

That the version of your life you play on repeat in your mind is the only one that seems viable because it is the only one you have ever known. And that until you force your mind to skip a beat, that tune will spin over and over and over again. It will remain all you will ever know. Only after you overhaul this song’s regime—and force it to stop playing—will you confront your dysfunction. It is only then that you will be in control. 

When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself that you have a fresh slate ahead of you. That it does not matter how many mistakes you have made in the past, or how many painful, embarrassing failures you have experienced in life. The birds are chirping, the sun is glistening, and you are here on this earth for a reason. Find that reason, fall in love with it, and live it out to the fullest extent.

This Is Your Reminder To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

As I navigate through an uncertain time in my life, my first thoughts are “Why is this happening to me?” and “Why does everyone else around me seem to have their lives figured out?” We can’t help but think this when things aren’t exactly going our way. But this is a gentle reminder, not just to myself, but to those around me feeling the same thing, that you don’t need to be so hard on yourself; you really don’t.

While it’s incredibly easy to get wrapped up in the stories other people share online, have the courage to focus on yourself. Have the courage to fully realize that you are on your own path and writing your own story; it doesn’t need to be the same as somebody else’s. Have the courage to know that your time will come, perhaps even soon. Have the courage to know that you will be alright in the end, because you always have and it’s your faith that will keep you grounded through this time.

You should be proud of the person you wake up to each day, even if you haven’t fully arrived at the person you want to become. The growth that you need is here. The healing that you need is here. Don’t get so wrapped up in a future version of yourself that prohibits you from being proud of yourself now. It’s only when we take inventory of our lives that we can fully see that one should always be proud of where they are today.

So, please, for your own mental health and well-being, give yourself a break in this life. Pursue what calls you, but don’t create a deadline for it. When the time is right, everything will unfold in perfect alignment. When the time is right you will understand why you had to go through this wave. So in the meantime, gently remind yourself that you are calm and confident, your energy is contagious, and you exude capability.

By changing your self-talk, you can inherently change the way you present yourself to the world. By becoming aware of your limiting beliefs, you can change the scope of your story and be gentle with yourself as you navigate the peaks and valleys of a life well-lived. Be gentle with yourself and remember that your time will come. This is a reminder to believe in perfect timing.

Here’s Why It’s So Important To Get To Know Yourself Completely

One of the most striking features of our minds is how little we really understand them. Although we inhabit ourselves, we rarely manage to make sense of more than a fraction of who we are. It can be easier to master the dynamics of another person than to grasp what is at play in our own minds.

On certain days, we can be irritable or sad without any idea why. So vague it leaves us feeling so vulnerable. Self-awareness is about knowing our internal norms, preferences, resources, intuitions, and having the ability to accurately monitor our inner world. As we pay attention to what’s happening inside of us, we can acknowledge and accept our thoughts, emotions, and reactions as an inevitable part of being human. If you have ever said to yourself “I should have known better” or “I shouldn’t have said that”, then you know what internal dialogue that I am referring to. An increase in self-awareness might lead us to focus less on what we should do and rather focus more on what we could do.

Our mind is extremely good at storing information about how we react to a certain event to form a blueprint of our emotional life. This blueprint conditions our minds to react in a certain way when we encounter a similar event in the future. Self-awareness allows us to become aware of these blueprints and patterns that we unconsciously created. Self-awareness sets the foundation for building confidence, because when we truly know who we are, how we feel about things and what behaviour’s we might have, then we can confidently be authentic in ourselves.

Self-awareness goes beyond collecting information about ourselves. It is also about paying attention to our inner state with a beginner’s mind and an open heart. Emotional intelligence is probably the most powerful yet undervalued trait in society. Emotional intelligence might be described as the ability to feel, express, and interpret your feelings productively while self-awareness allows you to identify your emotions, understand why you react the way you do, and recognize the impact you have on others. One of the most useful tools in emotional intelligence is creating space in our thinking. 

Being aware is not an easy thing. In the process of becoming aware, one must first remove egoic traits that are in the way of seeing the truth. The power of self-knowledge will bring you to your honest self to become the true version of yourself. Essentially, self-knowledge will allow you to easily come closer to what you really are searching for. 

Understanding different aspects of the self can increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence. This helps you understand what your boundaries are and how to use your relationships with others to support you. Your relationship with yourself gives you insight into what your needs are. Your relationship with others helps you support and create boundaries for those needs.

I’ve learned so much about myself in the last three years and it feels so liberating to become more true to myself. Through knowing myself, I can finally cultivate self-love, independence, and better decisions. Acting out of self-knowledge has both given me and saved me so much energy. Finally, I feel comfortable asking for what I need, I know my boundaries and how to communicate them. In order to be me, it’s started with getting to know myself.

7 Important Lessons It Takes Most People A Lifetime To Learn

Our relationships dictate the quality of our life. Yes, of course there are other important things, but for the most part, the quality of our relationships will determine how you feel about your life. If you feel loved, connected, and cared for, it lessens the heavy burden of stress that we often place on ourselves and brings us into the moment with other spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. This connection to others is what makes us human.

There are no wrong decisions in life, only wrong ways to look at them. In the moment, we make decisions that may or may not have worked out. Regardless, those decisions have led you to where you are now. Looking back, you may wish you did things differently. But in the moment, you were brave enough to make a decision and follow through with it. That’s something you should be proud of, and instead of letting your past decisions define your present and your future, you should learn from them and let them guide your way forward. We are constantly learning. We will always be learning and growing.

True self-awareness is the knowledge that our lives are but a means to an end. We have a limited time here, so knowing this, how do you choose to spend your life? How do you choose to spend your days? Who do you choose to spend it with? The awareness that we are not ‘invincible’ is perhaps your greatest ally because it acknowledges the present moment as all we have. Stop waiting. Go after the things that you truly want in your life. It’s our actions that fuel our self-belief.

Life is not tiring. Rather, choosing to wear a mask hiding who you truly are and adhering to beliefs that aren’t aligned with your being is the tiring part. Your life is your own, and while others may offer their opinions on how you should be spending it, there is nothing more freeing than having the courage to live honestly; an honest life is a full life.

The world starts and ends with your mind. No matter what you achieve in the external world, you will always be brought back to your own state of being. If you don’t take care of your mental health, nothing outside of you will fulfill you. Ironically, it’s only when you change your internal state that you can fully enjoy all the things that come your way in your external world. So start with your mind. No matter where you are now, it will always just be you and your own thoughts; it’s time to become your own best friend.

Stop chasing perfectionism. Perfectionism is a fear mindset that is stopping you from taking action. The key to letting go of this mindset is to begin. Get out of the thinking mind and begin taking action, then let go of the outcome. What is perfect? Is it even possible? We can spend our whole lives ruminating on being perfect, or we can take action today, believe in our ability and let go of the outcome. We never know what can happen.

Talk a little nicer to yourself. The thoughts and words that come into our mind often manifest into our lives. Become aware of your self-limiting beliefs and patterns—consciously choose the words that you want to say about yourself and fully realize that your words do mean something. Gentle encouragement as you navigate the confusing journey of life goes a long way. You deserve to feel worthy. Feeling worthy begins with yourself.

If You’re In The Midst Of A Healing Journey, Try This 2-Journal Method

Writing is a therapeutic tool. As humans, we have thoughts we don’t care to discuss and need an outlet on where to put them. We can call our friends or discuss them during therapy, but what’s better than keeping a log of your inner thoughts?

My favourite thing about journaling is reviewing old entries when I’m in my feels and don’t care to write. It’s an instant way for me to dust my shoulders off and keep triumphing through life.

Why two journals?

Energy is real. We all learned about energy in science; there is positive and negative energy.

I took this to heart.

I started a journal in March 2020. Hello, pandemic. The shutdown had just begun, and I thought, “Why not start writing more?” It was a great time for me to review my life and be honest.

I mean, once my pen hit paper, I couldn’t stop writing. I talked about things that happened in elementary school, back to having dinner in the finest restaurants, and to the hairstyle that I wasn’t too impressed with.

Once I skimmed through the shallow experiences, I put my therapist hat on and asked myself, “But how did that make you feel?”. The next thing I knew, I was crying and writing pages of bottled emotions.

Months had passed, and I felt like I had gotten it all out. For every problem, there should be solutions.

I put my old journal down and began a manifestation journal. I didn’t want to have the energy of sadness or heaviness near where I wrote for the things I wished for.

The entries started out short in my manifestation journal—like, REALLY short. My ‘sad’ journal entries averaged three pages while I could barely pencil a paragraph.

I began to force myself to write what my heart truly desired, what I wanted to heal, and how I could move forward towards the life I wanted.

Fast forward to 2022, I have seen my sad ”panda” journal. When I’m feeling down, I sit with it and then write how I can fix it or cool mantras tailored to my life issue.

For anyone on a journey, please grab two journals. I will warn you; favoritism will eventually show.

I won’t pretend I don’t get sad and want to vent. But I choose to allow the emotions to be there for a minute. Once they pass, maybe a day later, I jot down everything that would make my heart smile. When I look at old entries, I am not living proof of the things I wrote for.

I challenge you to the two journal challenge.