Tag: Encouragement

When You’re Healing From Past Trauma, Remember To Show Yourself Compassion

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I know that dealing with past trauma can be really tough. It’s hard when memories and feelings that you thought you had moved past come back up, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. There are ways to manage your trauma and take care of yourself in the process.

First things first: it’s important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Don’t try to suppress or ignore them. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and know that it’s normal and okay. It’s a big step to recognize that you’re feeling overwhelmed and to take the time to process your emotions. When they come to the surface, when the tears are flowing, let them come. By doing this, you’ll be able to understand and identify your triggers better, which will help you in the long run.

Self-care is crucial too. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can make a big difference in how you feel. This could be as simple as going for a walk, eating nutritious food, getting enough sleep, or practicing mindfulness. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. And don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support. Talking to someone who cares can make a huge difference, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Working with a mental health professional can also be incredibly helpful. They can provide a safe and supportive environment to process your trauma and help you develop coping strategies. They can also offer tools to manage triggers and reduce the impact of your trauma on your life. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and experiences in a nonjudgmental and compassionate way, which can be incredibly healing.

It’s also important to be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not being “over” your trauma yet. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that healing takes time and effort, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time.

Additionally, it’s important to understand that everyone’s healing journey is different and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Don’t compare yourself to others or feel like you need to be at a certain stage of healing by a certain time. Trust the process and be patient with yourself.

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate the small victories. Maybe you’ve made it through a trigger without panicking, or you’ve talked about your trauma for the first time with someone. These victories, big or small, are worth celebrating and can give you the motivation to keep going.

Dealing with past trauma can be challenging, but with self-compassion, self-care, therapy, and support from loved ones, it is possible to heal and move forward. Remember to be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time, and always reach out for support when you need it. You got this!

Please Believe That In Time, You’ll Get Where You Need To Be

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In time, you’ll get where you need to be. If you aren’t exactly where you want to be, there’s a lesson you’re still learning. This delay isn’t meant to be punishment or some type of twisted torture. No, it’s allowing you to build all the resources you need to propel your success. 

The truth is, you’re already moving in the direction you want to go. Just because the progress isn’t as fast as you’d like doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. 

You’re learning how to navigate life your own way. There is no blueprint on how to live your unique life. It’s never been done before. You can have all the mentors and guidance in the world, but they aren’t you. Your mentors give you advice based on their lived experiences. You still have to decide how these recommendations fit into the context of your life. 

Please believe that in time, you’ll get where you need to be. So many of us give up when there’s any sign of struggle. Your setbacks do not mean you’re a failure. Your setbacks aren’t a sign to quit. Your setbacks do not mean you’re on a mistaken path. Your setbacks are not an indication that you’re the wrong person for the job. If you’re moving forward in five steps but take four steps backward, you are still moving forward. Do not quit. 

Changing your mind about how you show up is not quitting. Taking time to rest is not quitting. Choosing a different direction is not quitting. Changing your mind is not quitting. Having doubts and moments where you question if you should just pack up your bags and disappear is not quitting. Surrendering to the process is not quitting. 

Surrendering to the process gets you closer to where you need to be. The things that are meant for you will come easy. We think easy means that we aren’t required to put in work. We think that easy means a lack of conflict. No, easy means that despite setbacks, you choose the same purpose, goal, or person time and time again. The decision is easy, not always the process. And so often, we confuse the two. Other times we make the process much harder than it needs to be because we believe that we must struggle and suffer for what we want. What we truly want to know is “Am I worthy enough for this?” This is an act of self-sabotage.

The cure for self-sabotage is to take action. Messy action. Imperfect action. Any action. I know you have a desire and purpose in your heart that keeps you pushing forward. Don’t lose sight of this. Please believe that in time you’ll get where you want to be. 

10 Meaningful Ways To Cultivate Simplicity In Your Life

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In a culture of more, better, faster, and stronger, resist the temptation to perpetually add. When we are overwhelmed with choices and responsibilities and busyness, we lose ourselves for the sake of someone else’s dream. Take time to return to your roots and learn about yourself, who you are, what you value, and what matters most. When that vision is clear, it will pave the way for a more purposeful and intentional life that is yours to create. To dim the noise of the outside world and allow yourself room to grow, consider these 10 meaningful ways to cultivate simplicity in your life today.

1. Limit time on social media.

Set app limits, instill no-social days, set aside intentional time to go off the grid. This is the absolute best way to bring inner peace and allow self-growth; by focusing on others, it’s impossible to improve oneself.

2. Make a love list.

Take a few moments to sit down and write out things that bring joy. We are so often caught up in our day-to-day that we lose a sense of what we truly like to spend our time doing. Keep this list as a way to fill your time instead of going online.

3. Reset your space.

Be it your office desk, your closet, or your kitchen drawers, spend an afternoon clearing the clutter. Our environments deeply affect our ability to think and work. Allow yourself to let go of things that have no purpose.

4. Get creative.

Everyone can be creative, albeit in different iterations. Journal, write, draw, paint, or just let your imagination run wild without any external stimuli. Creativity can be anything, as long as you are mindfully making.

5. Utilize time blocking.

Each day, schedule in what has to be done: work, chores, exercise, cooking, rest. When each activity’s time block happens, cut out all external distractions and focus on the task at hand.

6. Take a walk.

There is nothing more soul-filling than getting outside and detaching from reality for half an hour. Listen to a podcast, turn up the music, or simply take in the outside world in its own melody. It’s a universal cure.

7. Do something with your hands.

Take up a craft, paint, draw, build something, clean. There is something inherently satisfying about manual labor or creating something physical. This kind of hands-on work helps to ground our wandering minds.

8. Create routines.

Choose key parts of your day, like getting ready in the morning, cooking a meal, or winding down at night to build routines that work. While it takes a bit of effort on the front end to instill, routines are a surefire way to eliminate decisions in your daily schedule.

9. Make time for laughter.

Spend time catching up with a partner or friend, watch something joyful, be mindful of the amusing moments of the human experience. Be quick to laugh at the small inconveniences that life presents. It smooths the edges of a rough day.

10. Meditate.

There is, perhaps, no better way to return to the simple than to simply sit and be. Taking on the practice of mindfulness through guided or solo meditation will invite stillness into even the busiest of days.

In all these things, the purpose is to return to a sense of who you are at your core. Allow the complexities of modern life to simplify as making the choice to eliminate distractedness and hustle and adopting joy and calmness bring a new sense of wonder and knowing of the self. When we create space in our physical and spiritual beings, we have new room to grow and new opportunities to become more fully ourselves.

Here’s To The Ones Who Set Their Own Course

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Here’s to the ones who set their own course.

They are the dreamers, the changers, and the movers and shakers. They hold stardust in their bones and magic in their veins, and they see the world for its beauty and all that can be. When they have a vision, a dream, a goal, and an idea, they move heaven and earth to make it a reality. They have no care or concern for what the naysayers whisper and shout, for they believe in possibility.

Here’s to the ones who set their own course.

They are the ones who see a closed door and do not fret, for they know that they can open a window or find an entirely new door. They do not stress about the roadblocks that come up throughout their journey, for they will walk barefoot along the road for miles upon miles if it means that such a trip will bring them closer to their goal.

Here’s to the ones who set their own course.

They are the ones who do not buy into the notion that life milestones must be on a timeline. They know that sometimes plans go awry and dream change and that it’s never too late to go after what you want.

Here’s to the ones who set their own course.

They know that the dreams that they try to make come true must be the ones that come from within themselves. They know that advice will come solicited and not—and that even when it comes from the most well-meaning folks, it’s not their job to live out the dreams that others have dreamt for them.

Here’s to the ones who set their own course—they are the ones who inspire us to step more fully into the person that we were born to be each and every day.

Your Shadows Are Your Strength, Not Your Enemy

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No matter where we go, our shadows follow us. On the other hand, so does our light.

Can we dispel this notion that shadows are despicable? We all have them, so why do we degrade them so? They’re a simple element of our humanity. Yet still, with all our intelligence, we attempt to suppress that which we deem imperfect and unworthy of esteem. 

What if the only issue when it comes to our shadows is our perspective of them? 

What if instead of our light, someone long ago decided that the shadows were what should be found notable? Perspectives change. Attitudes change. Realities change. Everything in this world is subjective. 

I propose, then, that we quit maligning our shadows and begin embracing them. 

Everything is energy, and as such, our shadows are simply a manifestation of our stuck or blocked energy. A shadow is a tool—in actuality, a corner of intrigue on the path, an insight to what we need to examine more closely in order to free ourselves. The shadow itself is the light. 

Instead of constantly trying to conceal our shadows, we must declare them proudly. Perhaps if we do so, everyone will feel less lonely. Perhaps we can all stop bearing these false burdens of shame, guilt and fear alone. Perhaps we can release them together in the undeniable knowledge that we have more similarities than we tend to believe. 

When we stride directly into our shadows, holding them up to the light, then we begin to liberate our souls. When we hold ourselves in unconditional grace and compassion, we find true love. Love with no rules or limits. If we can find the courage to stand brazenly in our full truths, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. We accept ourselves, and that is all that matters. Once we break through this barrier, we start to see that when we love ourselves, others love us even more.

There is no inherent good and bad in the human condition. There is only what is. We shape whatever already exists with our perceptions, colored by so many elements beyond our control. If we are to be happy, we cannot deign to judge others. We also cannot afford to allow the judgments of others to influence how we ourselves live. There is no truth in such a life.

We must uplift ourselves into a reality with expansive space. Space for each of us to live as who we are, in all entirety. Space for both the light and the dark, the shadow and the sunshine. We deserve this for ourselves. We deserve this for each other. 

Hiding our darkness away keeps it in the dark. Bringing it out allows the light to transmute it. When we create safety and acceptance, we create space for all parts of ourselves. We create space for each other. Nothing is more beautiful. How do we begin? By accepting all parts of ourselves first and setting the example. If we become a safe space for ourselves, we are in turn a safe space for those around us. This security expands with each and every one of us who steps up and decides to no longer hide. 

I have a vision for a world where we no longer feel the need to deny any part of ourselves. I have a vision for a world where nothing is seen as dark or light, but simply what is. A world where we are free to express all of who we are, in complete safety. We can move into compassion, acceptance, and understanding. It can be so, if we only begin. 

When You Feel Like You’re Falling, Trust That You Will Land

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I see the struggle in your smile as you try to pull it together for me while it’s slowly falling apart for you. I see you being brave, putting one foot in front of the other day after day. I see how it’s difficult to go on when disappointment weighs heavy within you. But my dearest, I see you gather your strength to weather this season that life has brought you to, and this is what I want to say as you trudge along the road ahead of you.

Trust that you will land, my love.

Trust that after you’ve fallen into uncertainty, you will find your ground and you will learn to fly again. The fall may cause you to forget just who you are and what you are capable of. In these moments, I hope you remember two things: nothing you go through can change who you are and everything you go through will change who you are.

You are beautiful in your core and nothing can touch that. You’re feeling the heat of the fire you’re walking through right now. It will burn, but it will also refine. And you will come through, old and new.

Sometimes it takes a little forgetting who you are to remember all the things you wanted to be, to piece together the life you were meant to live. It takes a degree of discomfort, a nudge out of the nest, a freefall into a valley of your fears.

When you find yourself there, let these be the words that echo in your heart. Though the gravity of dejection may keep you low, you will find it within yourself to rise up yet again. Though clouds of uncertainty may overshadow your days, there will always be a light within you that will spark hope and promise over your days. And though your situation may grip you and cause you to feel stuck, the courage you possess will push you through.

Small movements will move you slowly towards where you are meant to be. And surely you will see there is nothing you cannot defeat. There is no race, my dearest, no finish line after which things will always feel certain. There is only steadying yourself each time you are shaken. Putting yourself back out there each time you feel beaten.

So, take a moment, my love; I see your pain in this process. But don’t let fear freeze you; take flight to places you’ve never been and trust that you will land.

Someday You’ll Finally Realize That You Are Enough

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I know in the past you have had to defend yourself and it has been a long road to get to this point. You are tired and I want you to know you will get to a space where you no longer have to. In the past, you have had to defend your choices, your privacy, and your emotions.

Even though the choices you made were aligned to what you needed, you felt you had to defend others when they questioned your decision. This made you unsure and doubtful of yourself.

Even though having your own space and privacy is healthy, you were made to feel that you didn’t deserve those things. This made you feel like you weren’t important.

Even though your emotions were okay because they were coming from your heart, you were made to feel that it was wrong to feel how you felt. This made you feel ashamed and wrong.

You will get to a space where you learn that what you choose is enough and that what you need and how you feel is acceptable. You will be able to confidently believe that you are enough.

You will get to a space where there are no explanations owed and there is no need for a defense strategy. You will be able to simplify and truly ground yourself with the basics that you need and deserve.

You will be able to recognize what you need and how to find it in yourself and in others. You will not need to prove any of these.

You will be so sure that these values are important that you will follow through with yourself and remain consistent in finding them. You will not give up on yourself because you are confident.

You are resilient. You are brave. You are loved beyond measure.

Some Opportunities Are Worth A Shot, Even If You’re Not Fully Ready

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Some opportunities are worth a shot even if you’re not fully ready. Some opportunities don’t come around very often so you have to jump in with both feet when they come to you, because you will not be fully ready for certain things in life, but the price you pay for not taking a risk on these opportunities is far greater than trying, even if you’re not sure of yourself.

The truth is, you will never be ready for the big things in life, like a promotion, marriage, starting a family, or moving to another country. You will never be fully ready to leave your comfort zone because that means there will be more challenges and there’s nothing us humans dread more than starting over and going through the anxiety, the fear, and the apprehension that accompany anything novel or foreign to us.

So the only thing you can really do is to just go for it and the rest will follow. You will slowly start to get the hang of things, you will slowly adapt to the new transition, you will slowly grasp what it’s all about and it will slowly become the new norm to you. Sometimes you are ready but your insecurities or fear of failure make you feel like you’re not. You don’t want to feel like you weren’t up to the challenge or you weren’t the right person for it. You don’t want to live with the disappointment that comes after letting yourself and others down when things don’t work out the way you anticipated.

Some opportunities are actually meant for you even though you never thought about them, but it’s how God leads you to your calling or how God leads you to a new chapter in your life. You may not always connect the dots in the beginning, but after a while, you will realize that it was exactly what you needed and that it eventually led you where you belong. Sometimes you don’t even realize your own potential until you’re faced with circumstances that allow you to get over your own fears and limitations or unleash your maximum potential. Sometimes you don’t even know how good or talented you are until you’re presented with an opportunity to showcase your talents or do something different.

So while you’ll never be fully ready for everything in life, some jobs are worth relocating for or getting out of your comfort zone for. Some relationships are worth investing in and nurturing because you know it’s hard to find that kind of connection or love anywhere else. Sometimes you need to go find yourself somewhere else because being stuck in your own bubble is slowly killing you. Sometimes the opportunities you’re not ready for are exactly what you need to feel alive again, to accomplish something extraordinary, and sometimes you think you’re not ready for something but you find yourself blending in perfectly.

Sometimes you use not being ready as an excuse because you’re just scared of what might happen next, but even if you’re not ready, if you want something, you deserve to at least try, because you deserve to have everything you want in life and you have to believe that somehow you can make them happen against all odds. 

When Playing It Safe Is No Longer Enough For You

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Some of us have gotten to the point where we are searching for change every day. Every day we’re tapping into something to help us get to the next level. Whether writing positive affirmations, reading a motivational book, listening to inspiring audio, or watching an educational video, some of us have said just enough is no longer enough.

Then there’s those of us who’ve reached a point of being good with where we are in life. But are you really good with you, or are you just playing it safe? Have you been faced with so many challenges that you’re afraid to take any risks? Are you comfortable at a place where you aren’t meant to be comfortable? Are you really settling because you don’t think you deserve more?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s great satisfaction in knowing that you reached a point in your life where you’re able to be at peace with where you are. Being able to say, “I’m good with where I am” is great and it’s something that we all should strive for, but as long as you have breath in your body, it’s not the final chapter of your story. Every second we’re alive is another opportunity to tap into the next level of our potential. I’m a firm believer that there aren’t enough lifetimes for us to reach our full potential, so every day is truly a gift. It’s okay to be okay, but don’t “okay” yourself into accepting a life that wasn’t meant to be yours. Don’t settle for this level when you know that you are one move away from the next one.

Every day we are supporting someone who stopped playing it safe and took a leap of faith. Whether scrolling through social media, reading a new book, online shopping, or even brushing our teeth, we see what happens when someone decides that just enough is no longer enough. It’s okay to support people and cheer them on, but it’s time to stop doing it from the sidelines and get in the game. It’s time to start making your own leaps and supporting your dreams. Someone is depending on you to stop playing it safe and do what’s in your heart. Someone is depending on you to step out of your comfort zone so that they can be inspired to do the same. Someone is depending on you to be the best version of yourself so that they can start being the best version of themselves.

Here’s How Self-Love Will Set You Free

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Have you ever heard the saying “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself”? Cliché, isn’t it? Yes. But it’s also true. Think of it this way: If you love someone without loving yourself, you really aren’t giving someone genuine love, are you? There might be people saying, “Maybe someone is teaching you how to love yourself.” Well, that could be true. And those people are to be cherished. Hold them in the highest regard possible.

Those people are called soulmates for a reason. You still need to learn to love yourself though, because you can’t depend on others to give you love. That’s not healthy for anyone. Why is self-love so important? Well, there are a few reasons for this, and they may seem silly but they’re important.

The first reason is that you are worthy of self-love and you are the only one that’s going to have your heart for life. Think about it, you get to spend forever with yourself, and that’s a beautiful thing!

The second reason is that you won’t be able to give someone else genuine love if you don’t love yourself first. And as I’ve said before, sometimes we meet people that teach us how to love ourselves, and that’s a gift. But how can you truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself?

The third reason is that you’ll know what you won’t accept and will accept in a relationship. You need to be able to articulate these things to someone. How else are you going to find the right person? You need to be able to stand up for yourself if needed. That’s why self-love is so important.

When you learn this, you’ll feel so free. And you’ll stop accepting idiots into your life. Your social circle may be smaller, but that’s okay! You only want good people in your life, right? Not crappy people who will take advantage of you and hurt you in the end. You deserve better than that anyway. You deserve great people in your life who will support you every day and love you unconditionally. How long will it take you to learn this? It could take years or months. Don’t rush. Time will reveal all. I know we wish we could have a crystal ball but we don’t get that privilege sadly.