I always believe that life will amaze you in the most stunning of ways, it will also break your heart in very unexpected ways. People always say that life will gift you with lessons that will help you grow and build yourself, but nobody warns you that you’ll go through tremendous pain and hardship for all of these. (And you’re lucky if you don’t have to.) They won’t tell you that you have to fight for yourself, that you have to go through the emptiness of trying hard. No one advises you that your heart will be shattered into pieces before you get your happiness.
Nobody teaches you how to go through all of this because no one knows how much pain and suffering you have to endure. No one knows how many chances will slip away from you. No one knows how many lonely nights of crying yourself to sleep and waking up the next morning still feeling empty.
No one knows how many times you have to kneel down to God, begging for help. No one knows how many silent prayers you have to utter. But still, you keep on hoping, you keep on wishing, you keep on praying.
So wherever this journey takes me, I pray that I don’t need to drag my feet a thousand miles just to find the place where I do belong.
I pray that I don’t need to fight the battles all alone anymore just to calm down all the mental chaos inside me.
I pray that I can still understand all my sentiments and silence.
I pray that I don’t need to lose myself again just to find a small piece of happiness in this world.
I pray that I don’t need to go through my past trauma once again just to guard my heart.
I pray that I’m still capable of trusting someone, even if people proved to be deceitful and untrustworthy.
I pray that I can still look back at my past objectively, even if the unhappiness outweighed the good memories.
I pray that whatever chaos may await me, I can still get and enjoy my breakthroughs.
I pray that I can still believe in the power of healing even if I’m hurting.
I pray that no matter how hard I fall next time, I can still pick myself up.
I pray that whenever I need to go through with that again, I can still make it, because all I know is I am strong but my heart is exhausted.