Sometimes God Says No To Protect You

Sometimes God says no because he knows that the things your heart desires could eventually break you. The people you deeply need could be the ones who will let you down in every possible way. The ones who will change the way you think about people or about love or the ones who will close your heart off and make you question yourself.

Sometimes God says no because he wants to teach you the importance of patience, of learning how to value things that others take for granted or learning how to stand on your own feet so you can take care of others when they fall or take care of yourself when the people you need are no longer around you.

Sometimes God says no because he knows that if he says yes, you won’t grow up with the same wisdom, strength, perseverance and resilience you have today. You won’t be the best version of yourself if you didn’t have things in your life that forced you to face certain fears, heal certain wounds and overcome certain challenges. You won’t be the person who appreciates good people and knows how to stand up to others when they cross the line.

Sometimes God says no because he wants you to delve deeper into faith, into understanding the universe, into believing in him even if you don’t always agree or understand why he does things the way he does. Sometimes he says no because he wants you to probe further into your life, ask hard questions, rethink your decisions or just explore whether the things you’re praying for are good for you or maybe you’re just in love with the illusion of things.

Sometimes God says no because he wants to bless you with far better things than what you’re asking for. Sometimes his no is a big ‘hell yes’ in disguise. Sometimes his no is a ‘wait for it’ wonderful surprise about to unfold. Sometimes his no is more of a ‘not right now’ than a complete no. Sometimes his no is just a delayed yes but what I know for sure is that his unanswered prayers, his NOs are just another way of blessing you whether by removing something that would have been toxic for you or waiting to bless you with something far beyond what you ever imagined.

And sometimes God’s no is his way of saying ‘I love you’ and that’s why I’m protecting you from what you cannot see.

Dear God, Please Don’t Let Me Get Attached To What’s Not Mine

Dear God,

Please don’t let me get attached to what’s not meant for me anymore. Don’t let me get attached to something or someone that you plan on taking away from me.

I know your plan is unknown but until you reveal it to me, please make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.

Because I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly, so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle, don’t let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me. Please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

Please don’t let me get attached to the things that keep me up at night, to people who leave me wondering and to places I’m not meant to live in. Bring me closer to what’s meant for me, let me hold on to those who are meant to stay.

But let me forget about the things that were never meant to be, give me the faith I need to believe that I’m better off without them. Give me the wisdom I need to realize that I deserve so much better and that I’ll be happier somewhere else with somebody else.

Or just give me tolerance I need right now to be okay with not getting the things I want, with not loving the ones I wanted to love and give me the patience I need to wait for your blessings and wait for your gifts.

But for now, please don’t let me get attached to what’s wrong for me. Don’t let me invest so much in things or people I’m bound to lose. Don’t let me want what’s not mine. Don’t let me build a future around what’s temporary.

Dear God, I’m Sorry

Dear God,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for the times I ignored you. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I’m sorry for only talking to you when I need help. I am sorry I am not more grateful for your gifts. It seems all I can see is what I am lacking. I am sorry for not giving you thanks every day. Sure, some days are hard. Some days I feel like there is no light. But I have a roof over my head, a family that loves me, and food on my table. I’m so blessed, and I am sorry for not realizing that enough.

I’m sorry for the times I took matters into my own hands. I can be impatient at times. People always say that you have a plan, and I believe this. But sometimes I get impatient waiting for you to make the moves. I am sorry for having an expectation of you. I am starting to learn that you may not meet my expectations because you already plan to exceed them. I am sorry I get frustrated with you. It can be difficult for me to see you moving in my life. I am sorry for not trusting your timing more. I am sorry for chasing things that aren’t meant for me. I believe that you put things in our lives and take things out of our lives for a reason. I will try to trust your plan more.

God, I’m sorry for letting fear take up space in my mind. You tell me to have faith, and God, I am really trying. But sometimes it can get so hard. The world can be a sad place. I am sorry for letting anxiety keep me from serving you. I am sorry for doubting your existence at times. I am sorry for letting my fear of failure keep me from my purpose. People always talk about “their calling” and I feel like I’ve missed mine. Is it possible for someone to miss their calling? Have I missed mine? I am sorry if I have.

I am sorry for not being more kind. To myself and to others. I am sorry for judging people and holding grudges. They say you are merciful and forgiving, but what if I can’t forgive myself? What if I can’t move forward and love myself unconditionally like you do? Teach me. Teach me to see the world through a lens of love and a lens of compassion. Teach me to default to kindness rather than judgement. Plant a seed of empathy in my heart and let it grow to envelope everyone around me.

God, I am sorry for following people before you. I am sorry for comparing my path to that path of others. Social media can make it so hard to follow you first. Sure, the apostles were loyal to Jesus, but they didn’t have to follow him while Instagram was pummeling them with the highlight reels of other people’s lives. I am sorry I compare myself to others so much. I am sorry I let others rather than you determine my worth. You have given me an abundance of grace, and instead of letting it wash all over my life in cleansing, I have cast it aside and used other people as my measuring stick. I am sorry I have used your people for anything other than support and love.

Most of all God, I am sorry I ever doubted that I was loved. I am sorry that I doubted my purpose here. I am sorry that I failed to see that you have made me in your image. I promise I will do better. I will love your creation, which includes me. I will default to faith, rather than fear. I will pray more. I will open myself up to your will.

I will likely stumble many times as I try to do better. And I am sorry in advance for the amount of times you will have to help me up again. But I will try.


A human who is trying.

A Letter To God, From My Anxiety

Dear God,

These past few years have been so difficult. You knew that I hit rock bottom. I barely survived as those raging storms seem so endless, sometimes I don’t even know whether it’s still going on. I know I shouldn’t complain like this, but I know that you are The Most Merciful and I know that you hear me.

Today, God, I’m tired.

I’m tired of faking my smile and pretending that I’m fine all the time. I’m tired of holding back my tears each day so no one will tell me to stop being weak. I’m tired of hiding all my insecurities and telling everyone that I’m strong enough to handle everything by myself. I’m tired of struggling on this battlefield which I don’t know how to win. I’m tired of facing those rejections and disappointments. I’m tired of having a heart which always needs mending.

So, God, please help me to go through this.

God, I’m scared of what will happen to me in the future. Will I survive this storm? Will I be content with what I have? Will I still be able to help other people? Will I ever be happy?

You’ve shown me how the real world works. You’ve shown me that this world is cruel. You’ve shown me how humans can be so greedy and ungrateful for your blessings. You’ve shown me how so many people are glorifying money and power and you’ve shown me they will do anything to get it.

You’ve shown me how the majority of society forgets that this life is too short to be lived as someone who is materialistic. You’ve shown me people who make artificial things their ultimate goal and I don’t want to be one of them. God, please make me one of the people whose ultimate goal is to be closer to you each day.

You know me better than I do. You know my deepest secrets, you hear my whispers, and you listen to my prayers even if I can’t say them out loud. You know the brokenness of my heart, the scars left by people, and the disappointments left by expectations.

You know what’s best for me and you have planned my life. I believe that you are the best of planners and if you ask me to wait, then it only means that there is more in store for me. Although sometimes it feels unbearable, I know that you will never abandon me, even on the days I have abandoned you.

So, when the time comes, I hope you’ll finally make me understand why you put me in hard situations. I hope you’ll make me find peace with what you decreed for me. I hope you’ll make me realize that those storms are one of the signs that you love me and you only want the best for me.

I hope you’ll always be near me whenever I have one of those days where I couldn’t carry on and my heart is so torn with anxiety. I hope you give me patience and an infinite belief that eventually, you’ll give me everything in the most mysterious yet beautiful way ever.

God, whatever you give to me in this world, I hope that you’ll always bless me with beautiful patience.

May I always believe in You, for indeed, in Your remembrance do hearts find true rest and tranquility.

Maybe We Should Pray For Things Instead Of Worrying About Them

Maybe we need to pray that we keep our blessings and take care of them instead of worrying about how long they will last or what will happen if we lose them.

Maybe we need to be grateful for the things we have instead of worrying about the things we want but can’t have.

Maybe life is about trusting more than resisting.

Maybe we need to pray about finding the right things even if they take time instead of praying for the wrong things temporarily.

Maybe we need to believe that praying is sometimes the only solution to the problems we can’t control, to what’s happening inside us, to the feelings we can’t explain and the thoughts we can’t silence.

Maybe life is about letting go instead of holding on.

Because it’s in our nature to run away from rules, to run away from pressure and gravitate toward those who make us feel loved and accepted. We despise being around people who make us doubt ourselves or ask us too many questions because they make us uncomfortable or unhappy.

So maybe we should treat God the same way, maybe we should stop complaining and start accepting him. Maybe we should stop doubting him and start trusting him. Maybe that’s all he needs before he shows us his miracles. Maybe he’s just teaching us how to have faith in him, even if we can’t understand him.

Maybe we need to get closer when he pushes us away, maybe we need to keep praying even when we think he’s not listening and maybe we need to stop worrying so much about things we might lose because he’s never going to take away something that’s good for us. He’s never going to take away something he can’t replace.

Maybe praying is not so much about getting what we want as much as it is communicating with God, our way of checking in with him, our way of letting him know we care, our way of trying to reach out to him and our way of letting him know we need him.

Maybe life is more about faith and less about fear.

Maybe God wants to hear our words more than our silence because he wants us near him. He wants us closer to him than anyone else. 

Dear God – I’m Giving It All To You

Maybe I’m trying so hard to have full control over everything. Maybe I need to remind myself that everything is a process. Every struggle is a process. And every process has an end goal, has a purpose and it’s always for my good. God is always doing something, sometimes beyond my comprehension, or sometimes within its walls. And honestly, it gets tiring to always try so hard to overcome on my own when I can overcome with You.

Maybe God, You’re right, it’s all about total surrender.

It’s not a matter of I can anymore, it’s all about what You can and unless I allow You to completely take over every space, every aspect of my life, I will never fully overcome, I will never taste victory over my life.

Maybe I need to remind myself to trust You in whatever strife I’m facing, whether big or small, whether work or school, whether relationship or personal, whether healing or promotion – whatever it is, maybe it’s all about permitting You to move me from glory to glory and just allow myself to be saturated in Your presence and watch how You will transform my failures into triumphs and my sorrow into joy.

Maybe I need to remind myself that You are Lord, and that I can’t overthrow it all in one snap, it will be a really tough process that is only possible through Your grace. And that doesn’t mean the process will be flawless and convenient and fast, there will be lapses, shortcomings but there will be improvements as well, there will be little victories that needed to be celebrated rather than condemned.

Maybe in every struggle, You are only teaching me, us, to be dependent in You. That the size of the struggle doesn’t matter, tiny or enormous, because I must learn to surrender. I can’t handpick the portions of my life that I want to surrender. I can’t just offer You the great, impossible looking battles and fight the easy ones on my own.

Maybe I need to learn to give it all to You, God. Committing all areas of my life. All my ache, my sin, my shame, my faults, trading them all for Your peace.

Giving it all and letting go fully, raising my hands to heaven in full surrender. Certain for the breakthrough that is waiting for me. Trusting Your beautiful promises as I trust Your process even more.

No Matter What I Go Through, God Is Still Good

Dear God,

I may not understand everything that’s happening in my life right now, but I’m choosing to hold on to the fact that everything has a purpose. I may be overwhelmed with questions as to why certain things are happening in my life, but my faith is not dependent on my feelings. This season of pain and struggle in my life is proof that You are still good and You are with me every step of the way.

I know that I have a lot of questions filled with doubt and fear, and I’m trying my best not to have the urge to control the outcomes of my life. No matter how hard I pray or how hard I try to control outcomes, I know I’ll end up more frustrated because You are the one in control of everything. Despite the fact that everything doesn’t make sense and it’s easy to be overwhelmed with darkness, I know that You are the light I need to get through this season of my life.

God, I am truly sorry for the times when I thought that if I prayed hard enough, you would change the outcome of a situation in my life. I’m truly sorry for thinking that prayer is a form of manipulation when in truth, prayer should be a form of showing You just how much I love you, despite my pain and heartbreak. I am truly sorry for the times when I lost my faith when You refused to answer my prayer. I know that You have a purpose in everything that happens and I will just choose to hold on to You even tighter because of this. Most of all, I’m truly sorry for all the times when I blamed You and cried to You for thinking that You didn’t care about the pain I’m going through. I know You care. In fact, You care so much for us that You made the ultimate sacrifice and let Your son die for us to save us from our sins, and that is the purest form of love.

The truth of the matter is that struggles show us more about our faith than we’ll ever know. I know that despite things not going the way as planned, my faith will continue to have a foundation that is stronger than anything.

God, you are stronger than every giant and every struggle that I’m ever going to overcome. You are stronger than every feeling of darkness, desperation, hopelessness, and fear. You are stronger than depression, than cancer, than any illness that comes into our lives. You are far greater than everything that is bound to destroy us.

You are the God of outcomes and You are the God of miracles and breakthroughs, and no amount of pain can ever change that.