Something happened to you and you became numb. You stopped feeling. You took your pain inward and banished it to the depths of your mind. You did this as a means of protection. You thought it was an act of self-love, not allowing yourself to feel the hurt.You suppressed the trauma and the hurt became dominant.
But let me tell you this: exiling your trauma to the back of your mind will allow it to become a part of you. And it’s tender, the way it settles quietly into your body.
You will start to notice the body language of trauma: your body tightens and caves in. You fold your arms and tuck your legs to your chest and let yourself become as small as you can be. Your body will become afraid of its own shadow, afraid of the way its darkness takes up space.
The longer you pretend your trauma doesn’t exist, pretend it doesn’t still hurt, the more distant it becomes – but it will also get stronger too. Eventually, your hurt will swell. It will take up so much space inside of you that you don’t even realize it. And it will become nearly impossible to defeat. It will become louder and it will convince you that the trauma was your fault: what happened and how you dealt with it.
This is the brutality of it all: you hold yourself back from feeling that pain, despite how crucial it is. You fawn. You tiptoe around it as if your mind is a minefield: you dodge the memories of how it felt and what hurt the most.
It’s complex, the very thing you’re afraid of is what you have to face the most. In its own twisted way, this “armor” is self-sabotage: by letting your trauma make a home in your body, you’re keeping yourself from true healing.
You have to return to the war. You have to let yourself feel it all: the righteous anger, the quiet grief. Bring the trauma to the forefront of your brain and fight it. Don’t let yourself be numb to it forever. By confronting it, you can then let it go. Don’t let yourself become numb to the trauma forever. Be brave enough to go back to the battlefield and face it head-on. Stare it down until it surrenders. Fight for your healing. Your heart. Yourself. Because you don’t really have another choice.
Giving all of yourself to a person sounds romantic, huh? That might work in a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie, but that kind of all-access pass could be hurting you in the long run. Having boundaries is a good thing. Things like your right to privacy or asking permission before physical touch can help you feel even more secure in your relationship. But what if your partner is always challenging your boundaries? This may be a sign they’re not respecting your needs. And, if they do these nine things, they probably never will.
1. You constantly have to remind them. So you’ve set a clear boundary. Great! Maybe you asked them to avoid texting you at work unless it’s an emergency. If you have to keep reminding them because they keep crossing the boundary, it shows a lack of respect for your wishes. A truly appreciative and loving partner/friend/family member doesn’t need to be reminded more than once or twice.
2. They consider it your responsibility if they cross your boundaries. Do you hear these things every time you remind them of your boundaries or get upset when they’re disrespected? “Well, you should have said something.” “You should have reminded me.” Relationships are a partnership they should be meeting you halfway. Plus, if you have to keep reminding them of the boundary, it defeats the whole purpose.
3. They question and second guess every boundary. You shouldn’t have to keep explaining why it’s important to you to have healthy boundaries. Having a debate every time you try to enforce a boundary is exhausting. They’re looking for loopholes, not ways to make you feel safer or more comfortable.
4. They think there are exceptions. The best boundaries are simple and firm. Yet your partner is always finding ways to break them. And when you call them on it, they come up with reasons why this time should be okay. “Because I missed you.” “Well, I didn’t think you meant it every time.” These are just clever ways to disrespect your boundaries disguised as misunderstandings.
5. They test your boundaries as a “joke.” If they disrespect your boundaries and you call them on it, they say they were just joking and you should “lighten up.” If a joke doesn’t make both parties laugh, it’s not a joke at all.
6. They joke about your boundaries with their friends. When you hang out in group settings, your partner will bring up your boundaries and laugh about how silly they think they are. Honestly, making fun of your relationship to their friends is a huge red flag no matter what it’s about.
7. They brag about not having any boundaries for themselves. When you bring up your boundaries, they make a big show of not having any. They might talk about how they’re an open book, making it sound like it’s a bad thing to have boundaries. Making you feel guilty for having reasonable and healthy boundaries is not a good sign.
8. They don’t seem to care that this is making or breaking your relationship. It can be agonizing to have your boundaries repeatedly disrespected. And yet, even with how upset you feel, they’re not changing. A caring partner or friend would care that you’re experiencing this turmoil.
9. They don’t believe there will be consequences. Why follow your boundaries if nothing bad will come of it if they don’t? Show them that’s not the case. It sounds like it might be time to let go of this toxic relationship.
Sometimes being vulnerable isn’t easy. And sometimes it isn’t easy being vulnerable with someone you love; there’s always the possibility of abandonment, heartache, and pain, and there’s always the possibility that the person you love is going to leave you, ignore you, or worse, reject you.
It’s hard to open up to others when you see how easy it is to keep things to yourself and to keep yourself as a closed book. Sometimes, I bet you wonder how easy it is to keep yourself from telling others about who you are. It can be so easy sometimes to not share what you’re feeling to others and especially being vulnerable with them too, and yet you sometimes forget that there are people out there that care about you too.
In a lot of ways, telling someone how you feel or maybe how you felt in the past is like having your chest ripped open and exposed. It can feel so daunting and intimidating to open up to others about your insecurities, anxieties, and doubts when it’s such a momentous task and when you feel so much self-hatred towards yourself; how can this be good for your heart? How can you even express the amount of guilt and self-blame you feel to others when you feel such dark and heavy emotions towards yourself?
Even scarier, how can you be so sure that they won’t hate you or dislike you for everything you are? How can you be certain when there’s the possibility that they might not actually like what they see or like what they hear; the endless possibility of being rejected—and worse, not loved—is always sitting in your chest and resting heavy on your lungs.
It creeps up on you on some nights, keeping you awake from sleep and genuinely bothering you to the point where you are frustrated at yourself. There’s a quiet desperation inside of you that’s seeking love and care, and yet there’s also a silent feeling of anger, and you don’t even know who to direct it at. You hate it so much when it bothers you like this and when it gets to you so deeply because you hate having to feel such overwhelming emotions, especially at night.
You can’t help but feel hate and anger at yourself for not being able to just tell someone what’s going on and how you feel. The endless blame and the endless hurt you feel just deepens the wounds, because being vulnerable with others has always been told to you as “the right thing to do.” The blame feels like it can only rest on you, because who can actually help you at this point, and who genuinely would want to?
For some, it may be easier to tell others how they feel and open up about their experiences or traumatic events throughout their life. But for you, staying silent has always been your best option because it has kept you safe from hurt and you told yourself it was for the best and for your own protection. It was genuinely just easier to not say anything and to stay silent because you felt that it protected you from further hurt, blame, or the possibility of anger misdirected your way. And I hate the way you’ve collapsed into a ball of fear and shame; I genuinely can’t even begin to express how I hate seeing you hurt like this, and hurt for such a heart-breaking reason.
In the past, you have never felt what most people have gotten to feel, and I know it’s particularly unfair for you; it’s so easy for some people to open up about their fears and secrets, and yet for you, it’s just something you can’t seem to do and it literally breaks your soul every time you try; sometimes, when I see you open up to others, you can’t even help but cry. That’s evidence of how long it’s been since you’ve reached out to someone who cared about you, and that’s how long you’ve had these thoughts sitting inside your chest letting it grow into deep wounds.
You’ve never gotten to feel genuine connection, love, and care going your way and I hate this so much about you but you blame yourself for it; you think you’re the problem just because you can’t open up about your darkest thoughts. And sometimes, you become so self-destructive to the point where you think you are the only person in the world who could do this themselves, because at the end of the day, who else can you blame?
I hate how you think you are alone in this. How have you never realized that being vulnerable requires strength and bravery, and guess what, you have it within you too; you have it within you to share the darkest parts of your mind and soul. And sharing parts of your story and even things that others do that hurt you can be hard, but look at the people who stay and surround you and listen to your words; look at the reward. Look towards the one person who has never left your side—me. Because truly, at the end of the day, I promise, opening up to others isn’t a burden for them, so it should never be and should never feel like blame directed towards you, or even the blame you direct towards yourself.
Vulnerability encompasses the essence of feeling strong and brave, but that doesn’t mean feeling weak and fatigued and exhausted is not a part of the process. Just because you’re feeling scared or anxious doesn’t mean you aren’t strong and brave, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you can’t share what’s going through your head at the moment or even right now. I can’t say it enough, I am just one person that’s not going to leave your side because of what you are willing to share, so don’t even hesitate or worry about it; you can open up to me and I can be your confidante, and let me share your thoughts, pains, and heavy burdens with you; we can uncover the deepest parts of your soul that you protect your hardest to guard. Because you’re guarding your heart too tightly and you’re only guarding it because of how others have treated you in the past, so please, just try something new and be strong, and please just let me in.
Don’t be surprised, but people who give you the time of day and show affection and love towards you genuinely give a damn about you, and that may come as a shock; it may feel abnormal at first to be given so much attention and care, but what if it’s what you deserve at the end of the day? What if it’s what you can have even if you’re not too open with yourself, or even with your past? What if this is how a person can be fully loved and deeply cherished just for who they are, and what if you can have that?
In some ways, you just have to try and openly express it. No one is ever going to openly hurt you or abandon you for who you are, and I promise, I am living proof that I am just one person who will stay right in your corner and by your side. Because all I’ve ever wanted was to help you uncover who you really are; the deepest and most vulnerable parts of yourself. All I’ve ever wanted was to uncover what you try so hard to protectively hide and help heal the broken parts of your soul because I love every single damn nice or dark thought that crosses your mind. All you have to do is be yourself with me, and whether you share those parts of yourself with me or not, I promise, that is enough for me.
Some of us have gotten to the point where we are searching for change every day. Every day we’re tapping into something to help us get to the next level. Whether writing positive affirmations, reading a motivational book, listening to inspiring audio, or watching an educational video, some of us have said just enough is no longer enough.
Then there’s those of us who’ve reached a point of being good with where we are in life. But are you really good with you, or are you just playing it safe? Have you been faced with so many challenges that you’re afraid to take any risks? Are you comfortable at a place where you aren’t meant to be comfortable? Are you really settling because you don’t think you deserve more?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s great satisfaction in knowing that you reached a point in your life where you’re able to be at peace with where you are. Being able to say, “I’m good with where I am” is great and it’s something that we all should strive for, but as long as you have breath in your body, it’s not the final chapter of your story. Every second we’re alive is another opportunity to tap into the next level of our potential. I’m a firm believer that there aren’t enough lifetimes for us to reach our full potential, so every day is truly a gift. It’s okay to be okay, but don’t “okay” yourself into accepting a life that wasn’t meant to be yours. Don’t settle for this level when you know that you are one move away from the next one.
Every day we are supporting someone who stopped playing it safe and took a leap of faith. Whether scrolling through social media, reading a new book, online shopping, or even brushing our teeth, we see what happens when someone decides that just enough is no longer enough. It’s okay to support people and cheer them on, but it’s time to stop doing it from the sidelines and get in the game. It’s time to start making your own leaps and supporting your dreams. Someone is depending on you to stop playing it safe and do what’s in your heart. Someone is depending on you to step out of your comfort zone so that they can be inspired to do the same. Someone is depending on you to be the best version of yourself so that they can start being the best version of themselves.
You’re going to grow familiar with the art of the apology.
And even if your apologies are genuine, some people aren’t going to forgive you. They’re going to hold the times you bailed against you, even if you had a good reason. Even if it was impossible for you to climb out of bed that day, let alone answer a text or meet up for dinner. Sometimes your anxiety is going to cause you to disappoint the people you never wanted to hurt, and even though it’s not your fault, it is your responsibility to deal with the aftermath, the hurt feelings, the guilt.
You have way more responsibilities as an adult, which could worsen your anxiety.
You might have hoped that your anxiety would go away once you were older and got used to living this way. But the older you get, the more you’re meant to do on your own. You can’t rely on your parents to make appointments for you or do the talking for you in social situations. You have to set your own schedule and advance your own career and hold your own conversations. Things might have actually gotten harder as the years have passed, but you can’t let that get you down. You have to remember that you’re taking on so much more today than you did yesterday. That’s why everything feels so overwhelming. You haven’t gone backwards. You’re simply taking on more.
You’re going to have to learn to hype yourself up.
When you’re younger, you might have people around who are going to encourage you to open up, who are going to push you to achieve your dreams, who are going to remind you that you have what it takes when you’re scared to leave your comfort zone. But when you’re older, you won’t always have someone around to hype you up, so you’re going to have to do it yourself. You’re going to have to remember that you’ve been in tough spots before and have made it through. And you can do it again. You might be scared, you might be shaking, but you have what it takes. You do.
You need to be gentle with yourself – but also brutal with yourself.
You need to learn to differentiate between the days when your anxiety is manageable and you can push through the pain – and the days when you genuinely need a mental health break and should stay home and rest. You need to be gentle with your mental health so you don’t burn out, but you also need to fulfill all of your responsibilities in order to survive. That means you need to figure out how to balance everything in a healthy yet productive way – and that takes time to learn. It takes trial and error.
You need to take it upon yourself to search for help.
When you were younger, you might not have realized you had anxiety. You might not have known why your heart was pounding so fast and your palms were getting so sweaty at the thought of certain tasks. But now that you’re older and know yourself better, you need to take better care of yourself. Whether you attend therapy, take medication, or simply download meditation apps and learn grounding exercises on your own, you need to do something to make your life easier. You need to treat your mental health as a priority, even when it’s inconvenient.
Forgive yourself for what happened. For the mistakes you made. For not showing up the way up you needed to. For not being the person you wanted to be. You’re human. You did the best you could in the moment given what you knew and what you had, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. You’re still learning. You’re still finding your way. And that takes time. You’re allowed to give yourself that time. And you’re allowed to show up in the world imperfectly. You’re allowed to fail at things you tried hard for. You’re allowed to realize you made the wrong decision. You’re allowed to be someone who’s still figuring out their path and their purpose. And you’re allowed to forgive yourself. You can’t go back and change the decisions you’ve made, but you can choose what you do today. You can keep choosing, again and again. You can start over. And that’s where your power is. In today. So no more beating yourself up. No more going over and over it again in your head and torturing yourself with the past. What happened, happened, and all the shame and self-hatred in the world won’t undo that. Today, you’re starting over. Today, you’re moving forward with the new knowledge and experiences you have.
Today, you can be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a disappointment or a failure. You’re just human. You’re still learning and growing and finding your way. And it’s okay. You’ll be okay.
1. You’re not as interested in what other people think as you used to be.
When the heartache was fresh, you relied heavily on family and friends to guide you, give you advice, get you out of the house and back on your feet again. You were constantly listening to their ideas, constantly trying to heed their warnings, constantly trying to do whatever they thought was right because you were desperate.
Now, you’re on your own journey. You’re letting the past stay in the past, letting the pain slowly fade into the backdrop of your life. You’re no longer concerned with what people think about you, what you should do, or who you should be. You’ve started to focus on yourself and what you want, rather than what everyone else thinks you need.
2. You’re encouraged by other people’s relationships, rather than feeling lonely in their presence.
Where you used to feel broken every time you looked at someone in a healthy relationship, or walked past a couple canoodling on the street, you’re now calm and collected. Happy people don’t bother you anymore; in fact, you’re encouraged by these connections. Every engagement post on social media, every kiss, every man and woman hand-in-hand brings you hope, not heartache.
3. You’re comfortable going to places, or doing things alone.
You’ve finally started going to that little diner on the end of your block, and sipping coffee in the corner booth at the coffee shop where you and your ex used to go on dates. You’re content being by yourself, no longer looking for someone to fill your life, or for your ex to stumble back in. In fact, you’re pretty damn content being your own company.
4. You’ve said ‘no’ to plans or engagements because you want to, not because you’re sad.
You’re no longer dragging your booty out of the house just to try to pretend to be happy. You’ve finally gotten to the point where you don’t feel empty and you don’t need to attend social events to fill your schedule or to try to get over him/her. If you say ‘no’ to an engagement, it’s because you’re fine, you’re content, and you’re simply not interested in going—not because you’re heartbroken and want to curl up into a ball in your room.
5. You’ve created boundaries for yourself in terms of your future love life.
You’ve started to think about what’s really important to you, what you value, and what you’d look for in a future partner. Instead of obsessing over what and who you’ve lost, you’ve actually started thinking about potential boyfriend/girlfriend material. And you’ve set boundaries for what you want, need, and deserve.
6. You’ve realized the steps you need to take from toxic people, and have actively made some distance between yourself and them.
Whether it’s blocking your ex’s new person, removing some crazy friends from your life, or taking time to be with positive, platonic people instead of ones who only remind you of what you’ve lost, you’ve taken healthy steps away from things and people that don’t grow you, build you, or help you move on from what’s no longer meant to be in your life.
7. You’re able to stumble across pictures of your ex and feel peace, rather than pain.
Thinking about your ex with another person doesn’t drive you absolutely crazy anymore. Actually, when you happen across a photo of him/her with another person, you’re strangely happy. Because you know both of you are moving on. And this is okay.
8. You’ve accepted the fact that some things and people aren’t meant to be.
You’ve come to terms with your breakup, as much as you thought you never would. You don’t have the urge to drunk text him/her. You don’t feel the need to check on his/her social media every day. You actually have realized that perhaps the two of you weren’t right for one another, and you can appreciate the relationship for what it was.
9. You’ve made room in your life for things that challenge you.
You are now focusing on yourself—not a relationship, or a broken heart. You now have time and energy to do things that you didn’t have the time for before, or never felt compelled to do. For the first time in a long while, you’ve filled your schedule with everything but your ex: hobbies, passions, plans, and things that challenge you. Instead of dreading your days, you now see each one as an opportunity.
10. You have expectations—for yourself, for your future lover, for life—that you never had before.
You’ve reset the way you look at the world. No longer are you going to settle, going to be miserable, going to let how someone treats you or the way they exit your life define who you are. Instead, you’ve created expectations: for bettering yourself, for letting a new person in, for how you’re going to live from this moment on. And you feel more motivated and purposeful than you ever before.
11. You’re actually okay with the idea of flirting with someone else.
The idea of being around another person, of opening up, of going on a date doesn’t freak you out anymore. You’re no longer clinging to your past lover, hoping he/she’d pop back into your life, or holding out for some sort of sign from him/her. Instead, you’re going about your life without actively trying to pursue anyone or anything. But if the opportunity comes, you wouldn’t hate it, either.
When something happens that scares you, and then you do not ever get over that fear, you become traumatized.
Trauma is the experience of disconnecting with a fundamental source of safety. It happens most severely when our attachment is severed to our primary caretakers. But there is truly an infinite number of ways the world can traumatize you, and to varying degrees.
There are lots of theories about what trauma is, and where it comes from. Many believe that it is passed down physically through your DNA. Others argue that it is shared mentally and emotionally, through learned patterns and observations. Most commonly, trauma is believed to be an interpersonal experience we have in which we were challenged and then lacked the skills and coping mechanisms to rise to it. Instead, we fell.
No matter where it came from, if you have some kind of lingering trauma, you will know, because you will feel it. You will feel it physically in your body. You will feel anxiety, tension, fear, terror, sadness or guilt. It will be displaced. It will not have a clear, direct cause. You will overreact to certain things and even when a problem is solved, you will still panic. This is the mark of trauma.
Trauma is not in your head. It is in your body.
This is the first and most important thing you need to know in order to overcome it: trauma is a legitimate, physical issue. You store those emotions, energies and patterns at a cellular level.
Thankfully, we can use the ripples at the top of the water to trace back down to the problem at the bottom, so to say. You can begin to use your body to help you heal.
First, identify where the trauma is.
You do this by feeling into yourself, and noticing where you are tight, or tense. Our bodies harden in order to protect us. When we have a broken leg, our fascia tightens like a natural cast, so that we do not bend ourselves that way again. Similarly, when our hearts are broken, our emotions tighten, so that we do not let ourselves feel again.
Of course, eventually, we have to walk. We have to love. We have to experience life again. We have to slowly soften the pieces of us that are trying to protect us, so that we can move forward.
Healing trauma is not just a matter of psychoanalyzing it. It is a matter of literally working through it with your breath. The next time you feel yourself overreacting to some kind of stimuli, you will notice that your body is starting to tense up, and create a fight-or-flight response. To heal this, you have to force yourself to take deep, soothing breaths, until the part of your body that was once tense is relaxed again.
You will need to self-soothe in different ways. Meditating, breathing, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, using aromatherapy or sound therapy or whatever else works for you.
You absolutely must work to take your brain and body physically out of panic, survival mode.
Second, reinstate a sense of safety.
You are traumatized because something scared you and you are convinced that it is still “out to get you.” This is what happens when we don’t face or overcome something difficult, we assume the threat lingers indefinitely.
The psychological aspect of trauma healing is that you have to literally restore the connection that was severed, in the exact same way that it was broken.
If you are traumatized about relationships, you need to build healthy relationships. If you are traumatized about money, you need to get really good with money. If you are traumatized about traveling, you need to travel again.
We do not find the resolution in avoiding these things forever. In fact, just underneath the fear we often find that they are the things we really want more than anything else.
Third, stop taking thoughts and feelings at face value.
Last, to overcome trauma, you have to stop engaging in psychic thinking. You have to stop pretending you are able to predict what will happen, you know other people’s intentions, or that what you feel and think is absolute truth and reality.
This kind of thinking is what takes a triggering feeling and turns it into a defeating spiral. You take one scary thing and make it into a prediction for what the future will hold.
You are not an oracle. You do not know what’s next, though you are always capable of choosing what you do now. Almost always, the thing you are most panicked about is a thing you do not know is happening for sure. It is usually an assumption, a projection, a fear turned into a terrifying potential reality.
You might think that trauma is something that other, more damaged people have, but that is not true. Everyone is traumatized in one way or another, but it is how we respond to it, how we ultimately grow and develop self-mastery from it, that determines the course of our lives.
Pain is inevitable throughout life, although to carry it unnecessarily fuels suffering. Even though our wounds are not our fault, our healing remains within our control. Healing is a difficult and yet liberating journey of self-discovery. Forgiveness teaches us self-resiliency and self-reliance. It awakens us to a greater love and peace that resides within us.
It is why I am drawn to the words of the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle who wrote on his Instagram account recently: “If you cannot accept what is outside, then accept what is inside. If you cannot accept the external condition, accept the internal condition. This means: Do not resist the pain. Allow it to be there. Surrender to the grief, despair, fear, loneliness, or whatever form the suffering takes. Witness it without labeling it mentally. Embrace it. Then see how the miracle of surrender transmutes deep suffering into deep peace. This is your crucifixion. Let it become your resurrection and ascension.” Tolle reminds us not to resist our pain but surrender to it in order to transform our suffering. I realize this advice goes against what people want to hear. I equate it to running towards a lion instead of fleeing for your life. Nevertheless, by facing our fears we allow pain to move through us and realize pain is not who we really are; it is an emotional state we have held on to and kept alive.
Beyond our pain lies an ever expansive love which at its essence is our true nature. Even though our wounds may not be our fault, our healing remains our responsibility. To heal means to accept what happened to us and discover our true selves through the healing process. Let me be very clear: acceptance does not mean we like what took place. It simply means to acknowledge the events and work towards healing ourselves of the pain associated with it. People might say: “I wish the event never occurred because I wouldn’t have to deal with the anguish, let alone the long road to recovery.” Whilst that may be true if we believe everything happens for a reason, what if our pain is there to teach us self-compassion and forgiveness? Perhaps the lesson is not so much about the transgression that took place but how we love and nurture ourselves when we are wounded. How do you feel about this? I know it may be difficult to accept especially if your wounds are fresh. Let it sit for a while and try to see your situation through the lens of love and healing.
Dr. Mario Martinez, a clinical neuropsychologist, writes in The Mindbody Code: How To Change The Beliefs That Limit Your Health, Longevity, And Successthat “When you’re wounded, especially by significant people in your life, your empowerment is challenged, and your worthiness is called into question. The vulnerability your loss of empowerment creates within you allows the wound to damage your worthiness.” To reclaim our empowerment and worthiness once more, we must cross the threshold of pain and let go of our hurt and anguish. It’s essential you understand, I am not inviting you to forget, but to forgive yourself for being caught up in what took place. Through the healing process, we restore any sense of shame, guilt and anger we inherited as a result of our wounds. Dr. Martinez further explains, instead of trying to forgive the perpetrator or minimize the events of the past, we should focus on re-establishing our sense of self which is more important: “Rather than forgiving the perpetrator or minimizing the intensity of the misdeed, you recover the empowerment and self-worthiness you thought had been taken from you.”
What are your thoughts by now? Are you willing to take ownership of the past in the way you process it? There is rarely ever a right way to heal our wounds. Though, it requires courage to appreciate that our emotional wounds are not permanent and exist to awaken us to the loving presence within us. This presence can never be taken away or deprived through physical or nonphysical acts because, at its essence, this is the foundation of who we are. As a result, we lean into this oneness of love, knowing like a net which supports a trapeze artist should they fall, we will be guided through our healing journey. Our priority is to nurture ourselves foremost through the eyes of kindness and compassion however painful our wounds may be. After all, the love within us is far greater than our wounds because it is the greatest purifier and healer there is.