Why Returning To Ourselves Is Actually An Ongoing Process

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the process of doing internal work. What does it mean to do our “deeper, inner work”? Where do we begin? And how do we know we’re doing it well? 

As I reflect, I’ve come to notice the many ways we avoid the internal work, not because it is in itself unreachable, but because what we’ve made it out to be is unreachable. Sometimes we avoid it because we’re scared of what may lie underneath. We tell ourselves that we’d rather find ways to accept our current reality, even if we’re not all that content, because it feels safer than trying to change things without knowing what’s on the other side of that change. Other times, we hyper-focus on self-help books and mentors and therapy because we feel safer in the knowledge than in the action. We get trapped in believing another certificate or another big, fancy piece of terminology will finally help us feel safe in our understanding. We feel like we’ve got it “figured out,” and that makes us feel competent. Meanwhile, though, we don’t muster up the courage to take any action from our understanding, maybe telling ourselves that once we learn just a little bit more about the subject that we’ll finally feel ready to make a change.

We often have an insatiable need to feel “ready,” and we’ve come to believe information will satisfy this hunger. In reality, the nourishment we need is self-trust, not more information.

The truth is, we will never be perfectly aligned with every value, action, or aspect of internal health at all times. To believe we can be perfectly aware of exactly what we need at all times ironically becomes another facet to hold us back from action. When we aren’t able to be “perfect” along the journey of doing our inner work, we can become convinced that this means we need more training and more knowledge or that we’re just “not cut out” for this inner work things, and decide to give up on the task altogether. But if we take a truly, honest look at what internal work demands of us, it isn’t asking for perfection. I don’t believe we ever reach the end of coming home to ourselves. 

I love the phrase “love is a verb.” Each day, we can commit to turning inwards and saying, “Hey, friend, what do you need today?” But we will never get it right every single time. And it’s not even about that, though I have moments where I want to convince myself I can make the “right” choice every time if I just work hard enough. 

Returning to ourselves is a lot more like swimming with the ocean tide than it is climbing a ladder. We jump into life and are constantly pulled away in tiny moments of distraction and pain, so small we sometimes don’t even notice. Once we look up, we see our home base on shore, of towels and books and snacks, much farther away than when we started. 

The times we get caught up in avoidance or in achievement rather than inner work itself are the times we’re convinced that the journey is a ladder. For some, the climb seems too difficult, too steep; for others, so much time is spent researching the best ways to climb effectively, only to reach the top and realize there wasn’t anything up there. Time and energy spent only to be left feeling the same longing for inner peace that we had before we started the climb. 

Our job, I think, is to notice more often when the tide takes us away. We check in with ourselves more often, take note of who we want to be and compare it with our current position. And, with grace and lightness, we get to throw our heads back and laugh as we swim back towards home base, saying, “Oops! I got lost for a second, but I’m heading back… Here I am.” 

We are not meant to be perfect, robot-like people being 100% spiritual and emotionally healthy at all times. We are only meant to be silly humans checking in on ourselves, adjusting with the tide and loving ourselves actively as we float along.

Why Inner Work Is Essential To Attract The Right People And Things In Your Life

Have you ever been stuck in a cycle that seems to be going on and on for quite some time? You keep getting the same patterns, attracting the same type of people from your relationships, and things in your life seem to be predictable in a sense that you know how things will take place, and they are almost always in a bad way.

That’s because you haven’t learned the art of letting go, forgiveness, and changing your thought patterns. 

Inner work allows you to let go of the things that don’t really seem to work in your favor. It allows you to stop holding on to people and situations that don’t align with where you are headed. It allows you to detach yourself from people and situations who just don’t bring out the best in you. When you’re able to work within you, you are also able to see things in a different perspective and expand your wisdom in life altogether. You’re able to understand that not everyone you meet is meant to stay. Some are there to bring you healing and growth. Some are there to shake you and make you realize the patterns you have been stuck with for so long. And that cycle of repeating the same dynamic has to stop now so the new beginning can finally enter your life. 

Inner work allows you to forgive. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and wrong decisions. They took place in your life for a reason. Things that have happened already happened and you can’t change what’s in the past. There’s no point blaming yourself for not being wise enough and smart enough to make the right decision. You are not perfect. Life is all about taking risks, making mistakes, and learning from them. Forgive those who have hurt you and those who have wronged you. Holding on to that hurt and grudge is only going to take you further away from being completely happy. It only pulls you back from receiving love. You have to make a space for the right people to come in, and you’re not able to do that if anger and pain take up so much space in you. 

Inner work allows you to create a new healthy mindset and get rid of the toxic one. It brings you a bigger view of things and situations that make you understand why things happened the way they did. It teaches you to focus on the brighter side and come out of the dark place you’ve been dwelling into. Inner work allows you to see things for what they are and not fantasize about the illusion of what you want them to be. It brings you clarity on things and people and it prevents you from overlooking the dangers that are presented to you. It protects you from people and things that will possibly harm you. It makes you learn how to love yourself and fully embrace your worth. It makes you see the value of being you, and that creates a healthy dynamic of you only allowing those energies that make you feel good. 

Inner work ends toxic cycles and brings new beginnings. It brings you to a higher place of wisdom and understanding, healing yourself, and attracting better things in your life because digging deep to what needs to change within you is somewhat the key to align with what God wants you to receive, and you can only receive that once you’re fully ready to embrace what’s in store for you—when you’ve learned the lessons and established what you really want and deserve in your life.