Please Be Patient With Yourself—You Are Growing

The goal is the reward, but the work within the process is the accomplishment. As human beings, goal oriented in nature, yearnings taught and nurtured fuel our efforts. Feed our need for absolute control. Whether the goal is physical, nonphysical, personally held, or publicly displayed in this time of projected immediacy all around us (gestures to the 21st century), we aren’t anxious for the effort, we’re anxious for the process. It’s the waiting that stings us. It’s the many steps, the process, the journeying. The poet in me says, “Day turning into night winds itself upon our progress but we just want what’s done. We miss the risings of the Sun’s sets and the wanings of the Moon’s blooms- the beauty of process.”

Any worthwhile achievement, like the growth it takes to get there, will not be rushed because you are reluctant in acknowledging that you aren’t always in control and averse to being patient with the process and with yourself. Notice I didn’t say easy—most things are never easy—I said worthwhile. Waiting, at the very least, can be inconvenient, but your intentions and goals are worth the patient effort it takes present you to build them for a wiser future you.

My relationship with waiting was a tumultuous and resentful one. Stained by a period where the child I was felt powerless in the hands of adults who attempted to delay my dreams, waiting seemed to me a curse and patience a punishment enforced by a power outside myself. I reasoned, “If I wanted something or put in fervent effort for a goal, why can’t I have it immediately? What else should I be doing? Because it can’t be that I’ve done enough.” Being frustrated about your efforts or progress will not shorten the process. It’s a natural part of it to some degree, but prolonged rumination on this part may serve as self injury. In the spirit of being patient with yourself, creating a space for your inevitable and natural languishing is a part of the process. You should feel free to experience uncomfortable states as you make any lasting change or achieve any worthwhile goal. Discomfort can be information about how to move forward, reevaluating your path, or simply a call for rest. It is only with patience, intentionally engaging your capacity to create a space of awareness for all that you are experiencing, that you can decipher what your discomfort might mean to you. Being patient with yourself fosters your personal growth.

I certainly wasn’t patient with myself. Heck, I’m still struggling with that, but it occurred to me one night while I was getting ready for bed, caring for my body and mind, engaging in intentional and patient self-care while uttering incantations to myself of my worthiness, that most of all I am worthy of being patient with myself. I’m worth the effort I put into growing and healing and changing, and most worthy of witnessing the unfolding process it takes to embody this living. Control is fleeting and I don’t know everything. I can’t know everything. I can’t understand everything and I’m not supposed to, but one thing is certain: I can grant myself my patience as I figure out what I can, what I ought to, and what I need to to create a life more abundant. You can too. Patience is a freedom I can give myself, and in my ease of patience with myself am patient with others, I must be. We are all figuring it out. Waiting and trusting that as long as we balance gratitude in the present with hope and active faith towards things to come, our witnessing and participation in the process will foster growth that a future, goal in hand, can graciously use to continue to live a life deeply appreciated.

Here’s the definition of patience as understood by me:

pa·tience: /ˈpāSHəns/ The capacity to be intentional, gentle with, and aware of yourself in the process of being as you grow; As life unfolds.


I am worthy of being patient with myself. 

I am worthy of my patience.

Dear God, Please Don’t Let Me Get Attached To What’s Not Mine

Dear God,

Please don’t let me get attached to what’s not meant for me anymore. Don’t let me get attached to something or someone that you plan on taking away from me.

I know your plan is unknown but until you reveal it to me, please make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.

Because I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly, so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle, don’t let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me. Please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

Please don’t let me get attached to the things that keep me up at night, to people who leave me wondering and to places I’m not meant to live in. Bring me closer to what’s meant for me, let me hold on to those who are meant to stay.

But let me forget about the things that were never meant to be, give me the faith I need to believe that I’m better off without them. Give me the wisdom I need to realize that I deserve so much better and that I’ll be happier somewhere else with somebody else.

Or just give me tolerance I need right now to be okay with not getting the things I want, with not loving the ones I wanted to love and give me the patience I need to wait for your blessings and wait for your gifts.

But for now, please don’t let me get attached to what’s wrong for me. Don’t let me invest so much in things or people I’m bound to lose. Don’t let me want what’s not mine. Don’t let me build a future around what’s temporary.