You’ve Survived All The Moments You Thought You’d Never Get Through

This moment seems impossible. You’re in the thick of your anxieties and don’t know where a solution will come from. Frankly, some days you don’t know how you’ll make it. This is your reminder that you’ve survived 100% of the moments you thought you’d never get through. 

This doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting. This doesn’t mean that most days you can’t see the way forward. It simply means that you did exactly what you were supposed to do: Survive.

It doesn’t matter how messy it was. You survived beautifully. We don’t celebrate that enough. We’re told that survival mode isn’t enough, and yes, while we want to thrive, this also takes time and healing. Have you ever stepped back and said, “Wow, look at how far I’ve come”? And I don’t mean in a hurried, dismissive way, but in a way that wrenches your gut, drops you to your knees, and breaks down the pain? In a way that melts the resistance, and allows you to say with pride, “Yes, I did that.” You did exactly what you were supposed to: survive any means necessary. 

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” know that everything is right. You were looking for connection. As humans, that’s what we’re supposed to do. You survived, and now it’s time to work through the process of untangling those survival pathways. Gently. Sometimes we get stuck along the way because we think that we’re not doing or being enough. We tell ourselves that we’re not making any progress. We get discouraged, but please remember that you can have feelings of despair and still be on the right path. You can change your thoughts. You can change moods. You can recover from any circumstance and take control of your life.

I know at times it feels like you’re not making any progress. I know at times you feel utterly alone, but please remember that you survived 100% of the moments you thought you’d never get through. 

The Only Way To Truly Heal Is To Keep Fighting For Yourself

Those who have been on their healing journey for years now would tell you that they have tried it all: moving to a new city, seeking therapy, reading all the self-help books, getting over their own fears, taking risks, moving out, leaving that toxic relationship, quitting their jobs… and the list goes on. They would tell you that they have followed every rule in the book and added their own spin on it, but those who have truly conquered the healing journey will tell you that the most important rule is to keep fighting for yourself. That is the winning rule, everything else is just secondary.

You can change everything in your life and go to the best therapists, but there will be times when you will have to face your biggest fears alone. There will be times when you have to fight the toughest battles alone. There will be bad days when you don’t have anyone to call and you’ll only have yourself. There will be times when everyone in your life has done their job and it will be time to do yours because your main job begins, not when everything is going right, but when everything goes wrong and you’ve used up all the tools that could help you. Your main job begins when you’ve studied the whole book and now it’s time to take the test.

Healing doesn’t mean that everything in your life will magically start to go right, it means that you’ll have to learn how to fight for yourself when everything is going wrong. When you’ve tried so hard for something that fell apart. When you’ve invested so much time in something that didn’t work out. When you gave too much to someone who ended up using you. When you’ve trusted someone with all your heart and they thanked you by breaking every promise. These are the moments when everything you’ve tried so hard to heal from comes crashing down on you. These are the moments when you question everything you’ve worked on and believed in. These are the moments that have the power to paralyse you when you are so close to the finish line.

Healing doesn’t mean anything when you don’t practice it during hard times. It doesn’t mean anything when you don’t fight against the same things that broke you in the first place. It doesn’t mean anything when you don’t counteract all the triggers that evoke your self-destructive behaviors. It only counts when you are faced with the worst and you handle it differently this time around. When you choose to fight for yourself instead of giving up and going back to the person you used to be.

Because it’s easy to fight for yourself when you’re happy, when you’re winning, or when you’re being loved or praised for your success, but it’s hard when you’re beating yourself up or when you’ve messed up something good or when you’ve let yourself down, because trust me, nothing will heal you during these moments but yourself. No one will be able to stop your limiting beliefs or negative thoughts from permeating your mind except for you. No one will understand the magnitude of your worries or fears or pain like you do. So you can only heal by fighting for yourself over and over again, especially when it’s the hardest thing to do. You have to be the only one cheering yourself on, especially when you’re losing.

You may not carry that self-help book everywhere you go and you can’t always call your therapist anytime. You may not always have supportive friends or parents who can guide you, and this is why you have to learn how to fight for yourself so you can heal on your own, and if you do it right, your life will drastically change. 

You Deserve To Let Yourself Be Happy

Humans are habitual—for better or for worse. Maybe you’ve picked up an annoying habit of biting your nails. Or maybe you’ve made a positive habit of morning meditation and a cup of herbal tea. Our brains are filled with neurons waiting for instructions from us, waiting for a new pathway to form, so pieces of our life can operate like a well-oiled machine.

But habits aren’t only actions you may take or routines you adhere to. Habits can also be the thoughts that roam in your head. Habits can be an emotion that you feel after a certain event or a feeling you cling towards when frightened or unsure.

You can form a habit of feeling disappointed. You can form a habit of allowing yourself to sink into sadness. And in a way, it may feel comfortable to choose this state over the opposite. It becomes your norm. It becomes so prominent that you forget you too are deserving of happiness.

But you don’t need to let any recurring thought or feeling trick you into believing you don’t deserve happiness.

Maybe you have had your fair share of bad days in your life, but that doesn’t default you to a bad life. That doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of the days where you can feel the sunshine radiate, and I mean really feel it. The kind of sunshine that allows you to shut your eyes, lips curled in a smile, while happiness beats throughout your skin. Or the moments that leave you in a state of bliss. Like the second after a long exhale. Contempt in knowing everything might not be perfect, but the moment is. The memories of laughter, love. pleasure, and excitement. You deserve to let yourself be happy.

Despite what you may think otherwise, you deserve nothing less than to wake up each morning, acknowledging and accepting what the past has brought, while being optimistic for what lies ahead. You deserve the highs and the euphoria and all that life has to offer.

But you have to start not only believing that you deserve it but truly letting yourself be happy, too. It doesn’t mean you will be free from a life of any disappointment, but it means you won’t be so shackled by the fear of never letting yourself feel joy. It means you will stop trying to force an outcome or a feeling and simply start existing and living for each day that comes ahead. The good, the bad, and the happy.

Because happiness isn’t a one stop destination we find on a map. Happiness is a continuously transforming experience. It’s an ebb and flow. It’s like a bird on a tree, coming and going as it pleases, with no limit to its flight.

You too deserve to allow happiness into your life. You too deserve to let yourself be happy.

22 Affirmations That Every Healing Person Should Be Telling Themselves

1. I want to be free, so I have given up on everything that weighs me down.

2. I radiate self-respect, the more I let go, the more I am allowed to let in.

3. I forgive myself for holding on to the bad, I am free and living in the present.

4. I am learning to appreciate the adversity it takes in life to grow, and take every lesson as a gift.

5. All things are possible because I have opened my mind and body, supporting me to learn.

6. I trust everything will work out for greater good.

7. Loving myself is how I will learn to love others.

8. I am the only person responsible for meeting my spiritual needs.

9. I can coexist with emotionally neglectful people. My boundaries will protect me.

10. Every day I am growing.

16. No matter what happens on my life journey, I will always have myself.

17. If something doesn’t serve me, I am able to walk away.

18. The path I chose to walk on is the path to empowerment.

19. I am committed to turning problems into challenges, weaknesses into strengths, and fear into action.

20. I show myself forgiveness when feeling defeated, because it is part of living life.

21. I have unlimited potential to reach my goals.

22. I am committed to setting goals that will help me achieve success.

Today, I Hope You Take A Chance On Yourself

Every day you are presented with a chance.

With a new opportunity to advance. To pull yourself from the darkness and build up your tanking self-esteem. A chance to take your supplements, finish that fifteen-minute at-home workout before class starts, and listen to a new episode of your favourite podcast. An opportunity to say “so long” to the friends who bring out the worst in you, and to say “yes” to that two-month retreat in the desert. 

You are given the ability to revise the narrative you have been telling yourself about how terrible your life is. About how you are the victim of your life’s circumstances, and you will never find a way out because you have been cursed from the day you were born. A hopeless, helpless body floating through an awful life. 

Today, you are presented with the chance to tell yourself that the only way out is through. 

That the version of your life you play on repeat in your mind is the only one that seems viable because it is the only one you have ever known. And that until you force your mind to skip a beat, that tune will spin over and over and over again. It will remain all you will ever know. Only after you overhaul this song’s regime—and force it to stop playing—will you confront your dysfunction. It is only then that you will be in control. 

When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself that you have a fresh slate ahead of you. That it does not matter how many mistakes you have made in the past, or how many painful, embarrassing failures you have experienced in life. The birds are chirping, the sun is glistening, and you are here on this earth for a reason. Find that reason, fall in love with it, and live it out to the fullest extent.

This Is Your Reminder To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

As I navigate through an uncertain time in my life, my first thoughts are “Why is this happening to me?” and “Why does everyone else around me seem to have their lives figured out?” We can’t help but think this when things aren’t exactly going our way. But this is a gentle reminder, not just to myself, but to those around me feeling the same thing, that you don’t need to be so hard on yourself; you really don’t.

While it’s incredibly easy to get wrapped up in the stories other people share online, have the courage to focus on yourself. Have the courage to fully realize that you are on your own path and writing your own story; it doesn’t need to be the same as somebody else’s. Have the courage to know that your time will come, perhaps even soon. Have the courage to know that you will be alright in the end, because you always have and it’s your faith that will keep you grounded through this time.

You should be proud of the person you wake up to each day, even if you haven’t fully arrived at the person you want to become. The growth that you need is here. The healing that you need is here. Don’t get so wrapped up in a future version of yourself that prohibits you from being proud of yourself now. It’s only when we take inventory of our lives that we can fully see that one should always be proud of where they are today.

So, please, for your own mental health and well-being, give yourself a break in this life. Pursue what calls you, but don’t create a deadline for it. When the time is right, everything will unfold in perfect alignment. When the time is right you will understand why you had to go through this wave. So in the meantime, gently remind yourself that you are calm and confident, your energy is contagious, and you exude capability.

By changing your self-talk, you can inherently change the way you present yourself to the world. By becoming aware of your limiting beliefs, you can change the scope of your story and be gentle with yourself as you navigate the peaks and valleys of a life well-lived. Be gentle with yourself and remember that your time will come. This is a reminder to believe in perfect timing.

15 Micro-Moments That Will Prove You Are Exactly Who & Where You Need To Be In Life 

1. When losing a friendship doesn’t mean you have gained an enemy.

As you grow up and mature and find your own path, what you’ll begin to realize that some people from your past just don’t fit into your future. Maybe it’s you merely drift apart, walking away with that knowledge and acceptance. Maybe you have a falling out and realize one or both of you just can’t fit into each other’s life like you used to. And even if it breaks your heart to lose someone, you don’t go down the route of holding it against them. You’re still their fan and want what is best for them, but you also want what is best for yourself, and they aren’t that person anymore.

2. When you realize you don’t have to be your best self to be happy.

Many people get into this mindset of I’ll be happy when…but the happy when mindset sets you up for getting that thing and it not being enough. When you realize that attaching happiness to something concrete will only put you in the negative habit of continually chasing the next thing and not enjoying the moment, you’ll get so tired of it. Your best self is the person you are right now who learns to be happy with whom they are, where they are enjoying this very moment.

3. When you realize you aren’t in competition with the person next to you.

It’s easy to get caught up in what so many people are doing, especially when social media platforms act like a movie preview to everyone’s best highlight reels. But the only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were last week, last month, one year ago, and if you’ve grown from there, that’s something to be proud of. You are both your greatest competition and have the ability to be your loudest cheerleader, and your only goal should be self-improvement.

4. When you don’t put other people down to build yourself up.

You realize your greatest strength is building others up around you and showing them the potential they don’t see in themselves. It’s seeing something good in someone else and acknowledging it.

5. When you realize not every situation warrants a response.

Emotionally strong people have the ability to identify what kinds of situations and other people deserve their time and energy. It’s coming across someone or something that could drain you or waste your time and have enough self-respect to walk away from it.

6. When a relationship or opportunity ends, you value what was without holding too tightly to what isn’t anymore.

This is sometimes difficult because whenever something ends, there is always a mourning period and sad feelings associated with it. Respect that. But in endings, there is always opportunity. And if something ended, it’s because it wasn’t meant for you, and you probably knew that in your heart. But what will change your life is your ability to take time investing in your future instead of mourning the past.

7. When your relationship compliments you and doesn’t complete you.

It’s realizing, ‘I love my partner. They make my life better, but they aren’t my whole life or all of who I am.’

8. When looking back at your past choices, you’re filled with empathy instead of anger.

You realize you were young and dumb once, and you did the best with what you had. It’s realizing ‘if I could go back and change XYZ, I would,’ and that’s a great thing.

9. When you realize your job is just a job.

Even if you love your job, you know you are just a part of a company’s success or business. It’s knowing what you bring to a team and the confidence that if something were to change, you could still apply yourself and your experience elsewhere.

While a career might take up a lot of your time, you know what is most important is your family.

10. When you no longer feel the need to engage in gossip.

People will gossip no matter what age they are, but it stops at you.

11. When you replace honest conversations with yourself instead of excuses.

Often the excuses we make for things are what we don’t want bad enough or the things we don’t think we deserve. It’s easy to avoid that conversation and get busy and distracted. In those honest conversations, you’ll realize you are the only one holding yourself back, but you don’t have to.

In those honest conversations, you’ll either change to obtain that goal, or you’ll let go of this thing you realize you didn’t want that much.

12. When you give yourself the time and space to process things.

You can’t always be happy. You can’t always feel great every moment of the day. And no one would expect you to. But the key is taking the time you need to process things. Pulling away to understand yourself and be better and come back improved is essential in your career and relationships.

13. When you realize you’re the hero and not a victim.

Sad stories eventually get old, and even we get tired of playing it on repeat in our heads. The truth is even in moments when you’ve been a victim, and something unfortunate might have happened to you, you have a choice of where are you going from there? While people in the past might have controlled certain things, how beautiful is it that they can’t do that anymore?

14. When you are willing to admit that you need help.

Even heroes need help sometimes. Not everyone is meant to handle everything on their own, and that’s why we have friends and family to be there. It’s knowing, while you might be strong and capable of handling a lot, admitting when something is too much is so important, so you don’t hurt yourself in the process of trying to do too much.

15. When you finally feel at peace.

You realize you are exactly who you need to be right now. You are exactly where you need to be. But the prospect of who you’ll become and the places you’re going also gets you excited.

Here’s Why It’s So Important To Get To Know Yourself Completely

One of the most striking features of our minds is how little we really understand them. Although we inhabit ourselves, we rarely manage to make sense of more than a fraction of who we are. It can be easier to master the dynamics of another person than to grasp what is at play in our own minds.

On certain days, we can be irritable or sad without any idea why. So vague it leaves us feeling so vulnerable. Self-awareness is about knowing our internal norms, preferences, resources, intuitions, and having the ability to accurately monitor our inner world. As we pay attention to what’s happening inside of us, we can acknowledge and accept our thoughts, emotions, and reactions as an inevitable part of being human. If you have ever said to yourself “I should have known better” or “I shouldn’t have said that”, then you know what internal dialogue that I am referring to. An increase in self-awareness might lead us to focus less on what we should do and rather focus more on what we could do.

Our mind is extremely good at storing information about how we react to a certain event to form a blueprint of our emotional life. This blueprint conditions our minds to react in a certain way when we encounter a similar event in the future. Self-awareness allows us to become aware of these blueprints and patterns that we unconsciously created. Self-awareness sets the foundation for building confidence, because when we truly know who we are, how we feel about things and what behaviour’s we might have, then we can confidently be authentic in ourselves.

Self-awareness goes beyond collecting information about ourselves. It is also about paying attention to our inner state with a beginner’s mind and an open heart. Emotional intelligence is probably the most powerful yet undervalued trait in society. Emotional intelligence might be described as the ability to feel, express, and interpret your feelings productively while self-awareness allows you to identify your emotions, understand why you react the way you do, and recognize the impact you have on others. One of the most useful tools in emotional intelligence is creating space in our thinking. 

Being aware is not an easy thing. In the process of becoming aware, one must first remove egoic traits that are in the way of seeing the truth. The power of self-knowledge will bring you to your honest self to become the true version of yourself. Essentially, self-knowledge will allow you to easily come closer to what you really are searching for. 

Understanding different aspects of the self can increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence. This helps you understand what your boundaries are and how to use your relationships with others to support you. Your relationship with yourself gives you insight into what your needs are. Your relationship with others helps you support and create boundaries for those needs.

I’ve learned so much about myself in the last three years and it feels so liberating to become more true to myself. Through knowing myself, I can finally cultivate self-love, independence, and better decisions. Acting out of self-knowledge has both given me and saved me so much energy. Finally, I feel comfortable asking for what I need, I know my boundaries and how to communicate them. In order to be me, it’s started with getting to know myself.

7 Important Lessons It Takes Most People A Lifetime To Learn

Our relationships dictate the quality of our life. Yes, of course there are other important things, but for the most part, the quality of our relationships will determine how you feel about your life. If you feel loved, connected, and cared for, it lessens the heavy burden of stress that we often place on ourselves and brings us into the moment with other spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. This connection to others is what makes us human.

There are no wrong decisions in life, only wrong ways to look at them. In the moment, we make decisions that may or may not have worked out. Regardless, those decisions have led you to where you are now. Looking back, you may wish you did things differently. But in the moment, you were brave enough to make a decision and follow through with it. That’s something you should be proud of, and instead of letting your past decisions define your present and your future, you should learn from them and let them guide your way forward. We are constantly learning. We will always be learning and growing.

True self-awareness is the knowledge that our lives are but a means to an end. We have a limited time here, so knowing this, how do you choose to spend your life? How do you choose to spend your days? Who do you choose to spend it with? The awareness that we are not ‘invincible’ is perhaps your greatest ally because it acknowledges the present moment as all we have. Stop waiting. Go after the things that you truly want in your life. It’s our actions that fuel our self-belief.

Life is not tiring. Rather, choosing to wear a mask hiding who you truly are and adhering to beliefs that aren’t aligned with your being is the tiring part. Your life is your own, and while others may offer their opinions on how you should be spending it, there is nothing more freeing than having the courage to live honestly; an honest life is a full life.

The world starts and ends with your mind. No matter what you achieve in the external world, you will always be brought back to your own state of being. If you don’t take care of your mental health, nothing outside of you will fulfill you. Ironically, it’s only when you change your internal state that you can fully enjoy all the things that come your way in your external world. So start with your mind. No matter where you are now, it will always just be you and your own thoughts; it’s time to become your own best friend.

Stop chasing perfectionism. Perfectionism is a fear mindset that is stopping you from taking action. The key to letting go of this mindset is to begin. Get out of the thinking mind and begin taking action, then let go of the outcome. What is perfect? Is it even possible? We can spend our whole lives ruminating on being perfect, or we can take action today, believe in our ability and let go of the outcome. We never know what can happen.

Talk a little nicer to yourself. The thoughts and words that come into our mind often manifest into our lives. Become aware of your self-limiting beliefs and patterns—consciously choose the words that you want to say about yourself and fully realize that your words do mean something. Gentle encouragement as you navigate the confusing journey of life goes a long way. You deserve to feel worthy. Feeling worthy begins with yourself.

Stop Seeing Someone For Their Potential (See Them For Who They Really Are)

Whoever first said “love is blind” was really onto something. As soon as we feel that flutter in our stomach, logic leaves us. We start picturing a future with someone–a future image tinged pink at the edges with possibility. This is of course when we start forming a version of the person in our heads that fits all the things we want or need them to be. And unfortunately that version is often wildly different from who they really are.

That’s when these statements come in: “When we’re together, he’ll stop doing this.” “If I tell him how much it means to me, he’ll start doing that.” “If he only did this, everything would be perfect.” We create whole worlds in our heads where just a little nudge will let the objects of our affection realize what we need and fulfill those aches. But does that really happen?

Yes, people change. They grow and move with the flow of their lives. They become more open or they close up from trauma. They slowly gain confident or self assurance or they let a random comment tear away at their self worth. Some people pay attention to their partners and do what makes them happy. Others keep themselves first and have no intention of changing that. And of course, there’s the balance in between. We aren’t set in stone.

But will the person change for you? Maybe. (And that’s a BIG maybe.) Will they read your mind, know everything you want, and execute it exactly as you have planned in your head? That’s a resounding “no.” Have you ever heard this great quote usually attributed to Maya Angelou?

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Maya Angelou

Try as you might, someone won’t change just because you want them to. They have to want it, too. So rather than go into a relationship wishing for that magical future version of them–the one that makes them the perfect partner you always wanted–take Maya Angelou’s advice to heart. Assume that who they are right now is who they’ll always be.

So, do you like who they actually are? Forget about the magical version you made up in your mind. The one you who they’ll turn into. Think about how they treat you now. Their looks, their drive, their hopes, dreams, and goals. Is this version of them what you want? Because if not, it’s time to let go. If you’re only falling for their potential, and not for who they really are, do both of you a favour and peace out on this relationship. It’ll be tough, but so worth it in the end.