Learning how to regulate your emotions and having control over your temperament and your feelings during challenging circumstances is a game-changer because it gives you power and perspective and allows you to respond to the situation instead of reacting to it.
Some people are more emotionally mature and stable by nature and some are still learning how to heal their emotional volatility that was developed from their childhood wounds or the unstable environment they grew up in. Emotional stability allows you to understand your emotions and cope with the situations calmly and responsibly instead of blowing things out of proportion and letting your emotions spiral out of control.
You can catch yourself before reacting by dropping these five things:
1. Stop making everything about yourself. If you’re a highly reactive person, chances are the smallest thing someone says or does can trigger your insecurities and you can misinterpret the whole situation. You can read too much into it and make it mean that this person was trying to hurt you or belittle you instead of trying to understand the context or what this person really meant. Most of the time, other people’s actions are a reflection of who they are and what they’re going through, not a reflection of how they feel about you. Changing the meaning you give things can help you assess things logically instead of feeling personally attacked and getting defensive when it has nothing to do with you.
2. Stop trying to please everyone. If you’re always trying to please everyone around you at the expense of your own, you will suppress your feelings and constantly feel emotionally drained from all the peer pressure and social obligations. Taking care of your well-being first will actually enhance your friendships and your relationships because trying to please everyone will give you more anxiety and may make you more resentful towards others.
3. Stop trying to prove others wrong. Sometimes when you feel personally attacked or judged, it makes you want to retaliate or prove people wrong. You become so consumed with proving others wrong that you lose sight of what’s important or how you really feel. Learning how to avoid or ignore these people instead of trying to engage in a battle with them will give you more peace of mind and more time to focus on yourself and what really matters.
4. Stop delaying the things you want to do for yourself. Stop delaying the gym, the spa, the book, the trip or whatever makes you feel better and puts you in a good mood. Taking a break from the daily stressful routine and taking time out to recharge and do what you love will help you reconnect with yourself and ease your anxiety putting you in an elevated mental and emotional state. Don’t delay what brings you joy until you have some free time, free your time to do these activities instead. You have to learn how to prioritize your mental and emotional health all the time.
5. Stop taking your anger out on people. When you’ve been deeply hurt by something before and you’re faced with a similar situation, you can sometimes react based on your old wounds and traumas instead of looking at the situation objectively. You try to protect yourself either by pushing people away or overreacting to one situation that you misinterpreted or it reminded you of an old wound. Becoming emotionally more stable means learning to give every situation the energy it deserves instead of taking out your anger on someone who doesn’t understand what triggers you and did not mean to offend you.
It’s important to focus on building your emotional stability because it will make you more secure and balanced. It will make you more tactful and you won’t take everything to heart. You will learn how to effectively cope with anything that comes your way.