You’ve heard that healing is a continual process. In fact, it takes a lifetime. If you want the life you’ve always wanted, you’re going to have to do something different. You’ve heard it all before. The truth is, you’ve been working on your healing work for years on end and the results seem microscopic. You get temporary relief from the monotony of life, but some days are still marked by cascading anxiety, suffocating hopelessness, and dark holes of despair. You’re having trouble looking into the future and seeing better days. You’re exhausted from your efforts to heal.
You’re exhausted from trying to be better when it feels like no one else is working on their personal growth this hard. You forget that the body heals on its own. The process is aided by the nourishment you provide and through small challenges, not by pushing past the breaking point. Healing isn’t about being better than someone else. Healing is about living with, and liking yourself. Healing enables you to focus on the present moment rather than the past or even the future.
You’re frustrated with your healing work because you put too much pressure on yourself. You’re exhausted from your healing because you’re making work instead of allowing yourself to be supported through the process. You’re exhausted because you’re unkind to yourself. You are on the right track. You’re fine-tuning as time goes by. The goal of your healing is to be so free that it’s only a minor annoyance when others try to steal your peace. The goal of your healing work is to enjoy life regardless of what everyone else is doing. If you’re tired of healing and wondering why you should keep going, take a step back, slow down, and remember to live. I suspect you’re doing much better than you think.
You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’re looking for threats rather than opportunities. You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’re burying your vulnerability and masking your feelings. You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’ve been fighting instead of grieving. You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’re desperately trying to change yourself rather than accepting yourself as you are. Instead of realizing that traumatic events happened to you, and you protected yourself the best way you knew how—not that you are flawed.
You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’re still trying to show people you are worthy based on how fast you can heal. You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’ve put your life on hold to focus on healing rather than living through the process. You’re exhausted from your healing work because you’re still living in fear rather than recognizing that you’re safe now.
You don’t have to be a victim anymore. People have exerted their power and control on you for so long that you believe you’re trapped, but really you’re only trapped in your mind. Forget about what people will think. Forget about your ego. Forget about everything you think you’ll lose—it’s time to live.
Forget about the labels for a moment: empath, highly sensitive, too emotional, fragile, can’t take criticisms, emotionally unstable, and old soul. Forget about the image of being some fragile, helpless person who’s only here to serve others and get trampled on. The point of healing is to discover who you really are and want to be. Approach healing as self-discovery rather than another task.
Your healing is not a spectacle, nor is it a race or a performance. Your healing is not a marketing ploy. Your healing is yours. Sometimes your healing looks like rage and frustration. Other times your healing requires deep rest and moments of stillness. Your healing allows for grace, play, and laughing at yourself.
You don’t have to be flawless. You don’t have to achieve some level of wholeness or spiritual height before you begin to live. Look at the people wreaking havoc on your life; they still have friends, family, and even lovers who stay with them through their worst behaviour. But here you are, kind, loving, and compassionate, wondering if you’re deserving of a better life. The answer is unequivocally yes.
I know you’re exhausted. You’re allowed to be. You don’t need to do anything right now but rest. Gather yourself only when you’re ready. The point of your healing work is reaching for joy and peace just at your fingertips. Healing is worth it, and closer than you think.