Since I could remember, I’ve felt behind. In my personal life, relationships, career, school—if you can name it, I’m sure I’ve doubted myself with it.
I’ve been told it’s part of the human experience, that no one really knows what they’re doing (even if it seems like they do) and that I’m exactly where I need to be.
So why don’t I feel that way?
I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times. And truthfully, I still don’t have an answer. But what I can tell you is, even though you’ve heard it a hundred times before: You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
There’s a path tailor-crafted in this world for you and you only. That may be why you’re feeling behind, because your path doesn’t look like his or hers or theirs—but that’s happening for a reason. You are a unique human being with unique traits and qualities making you up as a whole. Every experience, every cry, every laugh, every failed or successful relationship, every drive to work, every text sent, every conversation had, all of these things make up who you are and why people love you. You’re important, and because you exist, things are better. Ask any and all of your loved ones and I’m sure they’d agree. How do you view your loved ones? With passion, care, love? Exactly. Someone out there thinks that about you, too. And I can guarantee that absolutely no one is worried about your path. Everyone is worried about themselves.
Your path is yours. Their path is theirs. To compare the two is like comparing the sun and the moon. They both have two completely different purposes, yet without them both, we would cease to exist. (Or just be really, really cold.)
I have struggled with this mindset, though. Someone could repeat everything I’ve just told you until they were blue in the face, but it all changed for me when I started realizing that these are facts. Once I realized that my path isn’t someone else’s and that it doesn’t matter what people are thinking, I took comfort in that perspective. I took comfort in the fact that my story is my story and this is where I’m at right now and that’s okay. Each day I am learning about myself, and each day is a step closer to the person I already am. Every day isn’t perfect, but every day has a purpose, some big, some small, and that’s just one of the mere beauties of life.
If you are struggling with believing in yourself and that everything takes time, it’ll all work out—you’re not alone. With time and growth, anything is possible. Limiting yourself will hurt nobody but you.
There are a few ways I have achieved this mindset. One is by practicing affirmations. Every day. Once you begin to repeat the process, writing them down every morning, your brain then starts to believe it AND it’s a positive way to start off each day. With practice comes growth and with growth comes transformation, but ultimately, you need to believe in yourself for any of this to work. Don’t worry, it’s possible. It’s easily achievable and only takes five minutes maximum out of your entire 24 hour day. Easy peasy. It benefits you and your mindset in more ways than just one, and for not taking that much time out of your day, I say that’s a win-win.
One of my favorite affirmations to repeat to myself is the following: “I don’t chase. I attract. Whatever is meant for me will simply find me.”
If you don’t resonate with that affirmation, but you can’t think of your own, just Google or Pinterest affirmations and multiple results will come up. Once you start reading others’ affirmations, you might even be able to come up with a few on your own, tailoring to your personal experiences and what you’re currently going through or want to work towards. There is so much power in affirmations and manifesting as you’re actively teaching yourself to believe in your power and attract only good into your life.
Bottom line, it’s important to be your own best friend. The only person you will have forever is yourself, so it’s more than worth putting in the time and effort to change your self-talk and the way you view yourself. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. The better friends you become with yourself along the way, the more positivity you will see enter your life.
I’ll end with this. Always appreciate every feeling you ever have. Whether it’s good, bad, or in-between, each feeling is guiding you to the person and the place you are meant for. Trust your journey, it’s the right one. Appreciate the little things. Love the rain as much as you love the sun. And remember that everything happens for a reason.
You will get there. You have time. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Stop for a second, take a breath, and ask yourself: “What makes me feel connected to myself?“ Maybe it’s reading, writing, yoga, meditation, or being in nature. It can be anything that helps you to recharge yourself.
You will realize that it is often the simple things and yet, it is exactly these simple things that fill up your cup with energy, which is WHY it is important to integrate them into your daily routine, even if it’s only 10 minutes per day. Why? Because you deserve it!
It is easy to get lost in the day-to-day activities and stresses of the external world. Oftentimes, we want to take care of ourselves, but it takes a back seat and we put others first. We invest a great deal of time and energy in others but struggle with guilt if we claim time for ourselves. It is normal to feel disconnected from ourselves.
Remember the quote: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.“
So the question becomes: How to fill your cup back up? How does self-care help to top up your energetic cup?
It grounds you, helps to clear your mind, and reconnects you to your heart.
It will have a positive impact on everything in your life. If you feel happy, content, and recharged, you vibrate higher and your friends and family will feel it. Your decisions will come from a place of love rather than fear. You will naturally be more accepting and compassionate to yourself and others.
It’s a way to get to know yourself better. What moves you? What drives you? What scares you? Time with yourself can help you to get to know yourself on a deeper level. It creates the space needed to remove the layers that block you from seeing your deeper self! It helps you to become more aware of your needs, hopes, and dreams.
Show up for yourself! It can feel empowering to make space for yourself daily. It is a sign of self-respect and self-love. You are setting boundaries and protecting your own energy when you choose to show up for yourself daily. Keep in mind: The relationship with yourself is the most important one that you will ever have. It needs to be nourished like any other relationship in your life.
Your physical health will benefit. If you make time for yourself, your overall awareness will increase which can lead to better life-choices. You will be more in tune with yourself and what your body needs.
How do you integrate it into your day?
Schedule it! When you schedule things, you are more likely to do them.
Put your alarm earlier. Your morning sets the tone for the day ahead. If you can fill your morning with something that makes you feel good, you will benefit from it throughout the day. Even 15 minutes that you usually don’t have will give you more time to sit down, drink your coffee quietly, and read something that inspires you!
Date yourself. I once read the book The Artist Way by Julia Cameron, where she suggested scheduling a date with yourself once a week. On that “date,“ you can do anything you feel like doing—visit an exhibition, go for a hike, eat out in a restaurant, it can be anything. It should help you get deeper in touch with yourself, refresh, make space for self-exploration and creativity.
Write little reminders. Remind yourself to take time for yourself. You could place stickers in your house that say “go out for a walk“ or “yoga practice at 9 a.m.“ Simple reminders can help you not to skip your self-care practice. Reminders on your phone will work as well, but something handwritten can be beautiful as it’s so rare nowadays.
Stay in the now. Try to practice to be more aware and bring yourself back to the now wherever you are. The mind is mostly in the past or future, but rarely in the now. How can you bring yourself back to the now? Focus on your breath. You can include a breathing exercise, like inhale for five seconds and exhale for 10; concentrate on the inner aliveness of your body, feel your heartbeat and vibrancy in your body; feel your feet on the ground. The body is a powerful instrument that is always present, whereas the mind is not. Connect to your body to become more present!
Things to keep in mind.
Self-care isn’t selfish.
Being selfish means that you only have your own advantage in mind and eventually hurt or harm other people with your actions, whereas self-care is to replenish yourself without causing damage to another person. Like I mentioned above, self-care is necessary to build strength from within and therefore have more energy to give to others. Never forget that you are allowed to choose yourself, you are allowed to take good care of yourself and you are allowed to be alone with yourself!
There is no right or wrong way; do whatever makes you feel good.
What do you crave? What warms your heart? What makes you smile? What brings you joy? Let go of judgment and comparison and trust your inner wisdom—you know what is best for you!
Doing nothing is also doing something.
You don’t necessarily have to do something to recharge yourself. Sometimes just sitting, breathing, and JUST BEING is enough! Doing nothing can be a powerful practice when living in a world that is full of sensory overload and distractions.
It’s okay if you don’t feel at your best every day.
Every day is different, filled with challenges, experiences, and different circumstances. You will have stressful days where you feel tired, exhausted, and feel like doing nothing… and that’s okay! In these moments, you should have compassion for yourself as you would have for a family member or friend. The goal is not to be perfect, it is to thrive, to grow, to take good care of yourself, to give it your best and ENJOY life!
These guidelines are suggestions to inspire your internal conversation with Self; do whatever works for you and remember that the smallest change in the right place and at the right time can have the biggest impact.
It’s okay to grieve what once was. It’s also okay to celebrate what once was.
Your life is made up of many stories and many more to be lived. This is not the end. You’re constantly evolving and growing. With each new discomfort comes new life. We think we must be tied to one identity forever, which simply isn’t true. At any time, we can reinvent ourselves and change the course of our lives.
We think that losing is a loss instead of a stepping stone. We forget that we’re resilient, that we’ve already overcome so much. We tell ourselves we have limited options when we’ve only seen a fraction of the possibilities.
My love, you are so much more than this one moment in time. You are more expansive than this body. You are so much more than this job. Your purpose cannot be confined to the restraints society tries to place on you. Societal ideas are generic. They’re not the sum of your life.
Maybe you started out single, travelled the world, tousled your hair on the beach, and had many loves. Then you moved into broken hearts, a shattered spirit, loss, and were searching for direction. After, you moved into parenthood, giving, caring, sacrificing, and loving more than you could ever imagine. Now, you’re exploring yourself, creating new identities and learning how to navigate the world once more.
Or maybe that’s not your story at all. You see, the narrative of your life is never done. No matter your age, no matter your environment, no matter your setbacks. You get to choose. Your life is yours and yours alone to live.
Sometimes we hold on to our past. We reminisce about everything we’ve lost instead of looking at the lessons, love, and memories we’ve gained. Your past experiences are the moments that have shaped you. They’re the people who’ve stirred your soul and restored you. They are the moments that make you realize what truly matters.
Sometimes events ease you into the next life chapter, and other times they catapult you there. Do not forget the here and now. You’re right where you need to be though it doesn’t always feel like it. Right now, you get the chance to rewrite your life. You get the gift of new love, renewed mindset, and present-day memories. Your life is yours for the taking. So take it. One chapter at a time.
First, let’s make something abundantly clear: Wanting love does not make you weak, it makes you human. That said, chasing love and partnership is different from seeking love and partnership. The latter is always worthy of your time and heart. The former is not.
Of course, there will be moments you’ll be tempted to chase those who can’t love you during your 20s. If that’s you right now, here are 42 things you should put your energy toward instead.
Build a life based on what you actually want, not what you think you should want. Define what being successful looks like on your own terms, not society’s. Put another way, if success wasn’t based on how it looked but how it felt, what feeling do you crave to feel the most? Is it contentment? A strong sense of purpose? Maybe gratitude? Once you figure that out, construct a life that would actually help you reach that feeling consistently.
Make your home your personal oasis. Whether you live with roommates and the only space you have to decorate is your room or you live in a tiny studio apartment, make it feel like your own. Treat it with care and respect. Keep it as clean as you can. Focus on both style and function. Organize everything in a way that makes sense to you. Adorn your shelving with trinkets that remind you of everything you love. Make your space a safe space. When you do this, you make it your home.
Be exactly where you are, not where you’ve been or where you could be. In other words, be present. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future doesn’t give you control over any of those entities. It just makes you miserable. Learn to focus on the moment at hand. It is all you have; it is all you ever have.
Learn the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt, when warranted, can actually be beneficial. It signals a behavior that went against your values, so you know to be more mindful of that action next time. Shame, on the other hand, is never helpful or constructive. Guilt says, “I did something bad.” Shame says, “I am bad.” Sounds pretty different, huh?
Buy yourself flowers. Take yourself to the movies. Go to an art museum on a Saturday afternoon alone. Get weekly manicures solo. Embrace your solitude. Enjoy your own company. You may find when love shows up that you actually miss your season of independence.
Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Examine what that might say about your mindset and priorities. Adjust your focal points if necessary.
Forgive who needs your forgiveness. Your parents. Your younger self. Your ex. Your high school bullies. Forgive them all.
Become deeply involved in your community. Remind yourself that you are not an island. You are part of a community. Take care of it. Figure out what issues are most important to you within your community and then get to work.
Make journaling a habit. Track your growth, your memories, your pain, your triumphs. These are some of the many things that make up your life.
Read what you like to read, and often. Reading is one of the great joys of life, if you allow it to be. Read what is most interesting and expansive to your world. Not what you think would look great on Instagram or impress someone else. Read what you like. It’s really that simple.
Figure out your life philosophy. This will help you define your purpose. This will help you determine what it is you value so you can live a life that feels like yours. Now, you don’t have to make up a new philosophy (though you can). If that sounds too overwhelming, leave it to the people who came before you. Read about stoicism or minimalism or essentialism or whatever philosophical movement piques your interest. Figure out which one resonates with you the most and then live according to those principles.
Establish your boundaries. Then stick to them. Adjust as necessary.
Remember that you’re allowed to change your mind. And you probably often will. That’s okay. You’re allowed to change your mind based on new information and wisdom brought to you by experience. In fact, you should be changing your mind. Otherwise, you’re staying stuck.
Learn to apologize well. It will do you and your relationships good.
Find something to nurture. Adopt a dog. Adopt two dogs. Plant a garden. Line your window sill with houseplants. Volunteer at a nursing home. Investing in the growth and well-being of something other than yourself reminds you that human beings were made to love. We’re wired to connect. Don’t deprive yourself of those destinies.
Ask yourself why love hasn’t worked out for you yet.Answer that question in the most straightforward (and honest) way you can. Be mindful of an urge to be self-deprecating or bitter. Instead, be point blank. Some examples: “I haven’t found love yet because I haven’t put in the effort to date.” Or maybe “I haven’t found love yet because I have been healing from my last heartbreak.” You’ll come to realize that being single isn’t an indictment. It’s just a state of being. That’s it.
Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. Behave accordingly.
Heal. Go to therapy. Journal about the tough things you can’t seem to get over. Identify harmful thought patterns and then find ways to reroute them. Practice self-compassion. Give yourself the time and space needed for healing. It is some of the most important work you’ll ever do. In fact, it might be the most important.
Write your eulogy. How do you want to be remembered, and how are you living up to that image? Or not? How can you embody more of those desired traits today?
Find more ways to infuse yourself with awe. Remind yourself that you are but a speck in the universe. Go hiking and stare at the views in fascination, study paintings by some of the greatest artists and be humbled by their talent. Seeking out wonder is good for the soul. It keeps you grounded. It keeps you interested.
Call your grandparents. You’ll miss it when you can’t.
Learn to appreciate your body for what it can do for you (not what it looks like). Unlearn that your looks are the most interesting and important things about you. They aren’t. They never were and never will be.
Get in touch with nature. Fresh air is medicine. Use it.
Determine what exercise you ACTUALLY like. You don’t need to do anything crazy. If you hate running, walk. If you hate walking, try the elliptical. If you hate the elliptical, try yoga. Explore what movement works best with your body and then stick to it.
Think about all the times you thought heartbreak would kill you but didn’t. Celebrate your resiliency.
Figure out how to fight right. AKA learn to argue with the goal of resolution, not “being right.”
Dance. At weddings. At the bar. Alone in your living room. Dance is a celebration of movement, of being alive, of self-expression. You don’t have to be a good dancer in order to enjoy it. You just need to be present in your body and follow your intuition.
Do more shit you’re bad at but still love. In fact, doing something for the sake of joy, not your ego, is more beneficial for the soul than anything.
Curate your social media feeds. Unfollow accounts that make you feel like shit. Follow accounts that inspire you, make you feel connected, or teach you something. You are what you consume. Be mindful of what those things are.
Become the most enthusiastic listener you know. Ask more questions. Listen more than you speak. Be present when someone is sharing their heart with you. This is one of the most valuable relationship skills you can foster.
Create an empowered dating life. Modern dating is difficult. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it. Figure out how to date in a way that makes you feel comfortable and intrigued. Have fun getting to know other people, even if it’s just a date. Learn to stand up for yourself if you’re disrespected. Set boundaries.
Facilitate a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. Psychologically-speaking, your mindset is actually one of the biggest indicators of your success. A growth mindset operates from the assumption you can always expand and grow and learn. A fixed mindset functions on the idea that your abilities, your intelligence, etc. are fixed. Aim for a growth mindset. You don’t want to stay stuck.
Learn to live below your means. Your budget will thank you.
Notice what gives you the most energy. Do more of that.
Notice what drains your energy. Do less of that.
Choose to believe in good things. Even if you have every reason not to. Even if you’ve been knocked down and bruised and hurt more times than you can count. Believe in goodness anyway. Believe that something life-changing and wonderful is right around the corner. Live from a place of hope, not fear.
Stop explaining yourself to people who will always misunderstand you. Focus on the people who do understand you instead.
Flirt. Even if it’s someone you’ll never see again or someone you’d ever seriously date. Flirting is a way to express our sexuality and desires. Have fun with it.
Learn to live gracefully in “not yet.” Just because you don’t have the job, the relationship, the skillset you want now doesn’t mean you never will. Keep working towards it. Trust your journey. Forget milestones.
Stay as curious as possible. In the words of the late Steve Jobs, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”
Understand you already have so much love in your life. Romantic love is wonderful but it’s not the only type of love that’s valuable. You have a family or chosen family. You have friends. Maybe you have a pet or a blossoming career. And, most importantly, you also have yourself.
Remember you will never be younger than you are at this moment. What a gift. How are you going to use it today?
It’ll help you feel hydrated, and therefore you’ll be more clear-headed and refreshed.
2. Thinking about what you say before you say it.
Of course, there will be times in life when you might have a moment of verbal diarrhea, but more often than not, it’s best to think before you speak.
3. Read the entire article—not just the headline.
It’s easy to scroll past news articles and think that you know exactly what the rest of the piece will say, but chances are you’d be incredibly wrong.
4. Read more.
Read more books, more articles, and more plays. Read poetry, great novels, and nonfiction. Read about the things that intrigue you, and read about the things that make you feel as if you could catch the moon in the palm of your hands.
5. Move your body for at least 15 minutes a day.
Not everyone will have time for a workout, but you can find 15 minutes to move, whether it’s taking the stairs, vacuuming your home, or walking down your block before the sun goes down. Moving your body will instantly put you in a better mood—and it’s good for you, too.
6. Make a “to-do” list.
The older you get, the more demands life will throw at you, and the more things will require your time and attention. It can get overwhelming to juggle it all, but it’s far more manageable when you write down all of the things you have to do. Or, utilize digital planning tools if a pen and paper planner is not the thing for you.
7. Keep your phone off the table when you’re dining with friends, family, or loved ones.
You don’t need to have your cell with you 24/7. You’re allowed to disconnect every once in a while, especially when you’re engaging with the ones you say you love and adore.
8. Do not feed the trolls.
The internet can be a beautiful place of creativity and connectivity—and it can also be a place where decency goes to die. You don’t have to engage with those who seek to pour their own bitterness, cowardice, and frustration onto the web. You’re allowed to scroll on by and leave them to flounder in their misinformed, sad diatribes that are nothing more than a call for attention and a plea for relevance. You don’t have to feed the egos of others via their comments section. You don’t have to meet hate with hate.
9. Keep an open mind.
You will start to form opinions as you age and experience more and more of what life has to offer, but it would be a sad day to think that you have nothing left to learn. Learning is how we grow, and growing is how we live.
How much are you loving your life right now?
How open are you to letting life love you back? Meaning, how open are you to receiving all the magic life has to offer?
Do you often find yourself trying to control the outcomes of your life?
Are you holding onto your expectations a little too tightly sometimes?
Are you staying comfortable because that seems less scary than facing your fears and dark sides?
Are you resisting change because you believe you know how your life ‘should’ look like?
Are you missing out on the joy of the present moment because you’re chasing one goal after the other in hopes that achieving those goals will bring you more happiness and fulfillment?
Are you living life on other people’s and society’s terms because you believe that’s how a ‘successful’ life should look like or because you believe that when someone else is happy with a certain lifestyle it would bring you happiness too?
Do you feel like you’re living the same day over & over again?
Or are you open to change?
Are you trusting the unfolding of your life?
Are you living deeply connected to yourself and nature?
Are you clear about what you want your experience here on earth to look like, how you want to feel on a daily basis?
Here’s what I believe: You can only ever trust and believe in yourself to the extent you trust and believe in the unfolding of your life.
When you allow life, other people, your body, your inner voice, and nature to love, support, guide, and hold you, you will, in turn, also be able to experience more love, trust, confidence, and knowing within yourself.
Oftentimes we struggle to fully trust ourselves because we believe we’re disconnected from each other, life, and nature.
The thing is that you do not always need to see something in order for you to know it is there.
The answers you’re searching for are already within you.
The support you’re craving is already there.
The love you think you’re missing is your nature.
The opportunities you’re seeking are everywhere around you.
The magic you believe needs to be something ‘big’ is actually often found in small moments and brought to you through small signs multiple times a day.
It is not necessary to always understand ‘why’. To see first. To be in control. To follow a certain routine or path. To know what’s coming next.
And oftentimes, it’s actually impossible, and that’s why suffering is created.
Instead, let life crack you wide open. Trust life and trust yourself. It’s all working out for you — in a beautiful way.
Once you know yourself, everything changes. You have more confidence. You are happier in your own skin. You cannot be side-tracked or feel shiny object syndrome or FOMO. You cannot be confused or sad. Once you know yourself, the rest is obvious. You know what you’re here to do. Knowing yourself really matters.
Here are five questions to truly know yourself:
What’s my perfect repeatable day?
If you had to live the same day on repeat, like Groundhog Day, what would that day look like? How can you define and design a normal day so you love to live it? I’m not saying you have to live it every single day, I’m saying it should be designed so you could.
Break it down hour by hour. What do you do at every stage of the day? What time do you eat, what time do you work, how do you choose to spend every minute? Defining your perfect repeatable day will show you who you are. Extrapolating that into the future will show you who you will become.
What’s in my dream year?
After you know your default day, it’s time to think about your dream year. What do you want to do in the following frequencies: every day, every other day, every week, every month, every quarter, every year. Write them down in columns and map out your dream year.
The next task is to cost it out. Write down the yearly cost of every inclusion to know how much your dream year actually requires. You might be surprised to see how most of it is free or inexpensive—seeing friends, taking walks in nature, reading books, stretching, and jogging. What makes us happy day to day isn’t extravagance and indulgence, but we might not know it.
What does “there” look like?
When you have made it, how will you know? It’s so easy to barrel forward “getting there”, towards a mythical “there” that isn’t defined. So define it. Paint a picture of the version of you that has everything they want.
In this version of you, how do you feel? Who do you hang out with? What are you wearing? What’s your expression? Where do you live and with whom? What does your day to day look like? Define it and feel it. You may start to realize you’re already there or just a few changes away. Even if you’re miles away, at least you know what you need to do.
What’s my zone of genius?
Your zone of genius is a three-circle Venn diagram. In one circle is the question What am I good at? In another is What do I enjoy? and the third is What does the world need? The intersection of the three circles is what you should be working on. It represents how you are uniquely placed to serve.
As with your definition of “there,” you may already be operating according to your zone of genius, you just might not know it. I use this concept for business ideas and for working out the role I take within the business itself. Knowing your zone of genius will mean truly knowing your purpose and your self.
What should I start, stop, and do more and less of?
A more practical question, this involves a piece of paper split into four. At the top of each quadrant are the words start, stop, more and less. Then into the box go the changes you want to make in your life. Start yoga. Stop worrying. More switching off by 8 p.m. Less road rage. Keep filling each box until you can’t think of any more. Only you know what should go into your boxes.
Start and more, on the left-hand side of your page, represent what you should move towards. Stop and less, on the right-hand side of your page, highlight what you don’t want in your life, which is just as important as what you do. Making space for what you love means clearing out what you don’t. Find out what drains you or makes you sad to clear the way for your perfect repeatable day and dream year.
The power to choose is always yours, but knowing how to make good choices requires truly knowing who you are. So many people aren’t familiar with themselves. They flit around straddling strategies, following the news or the latest craze, or chasing other people. Then they wonder why they feel empty. They wonder why they feel unfulfilled and left behind, with no idea what to do. The only solution is to truly know yourself.
Contrary to popular belief, the Divine Feminine isn’t limited only to females.
The Divine Feminine is an energy that we all possess, no matter where we are on the gender spectrum (or lack thereof).
Therefore, this article is for everyone who is interested in creating more inner balance – and shining that out into the world.
As our planet is cast into the horrors of environmental destruction and demise, it is clear that there is an excess of masculine energy.
As a force that is responsible for organizing, ruling, fighting, building, and dominating, masculine energy is certainly useful – but only up until a certain point.
It is now time for the rise of the Divine Feminine. But not just in females (although women certainly have an easier time accessing it), but in all beings.
For our society, for this very planet, to survive, we desperately need to cultivate feminine energies within us, before it’s too late. This inner invocation is a crucial part of our spiritual awakening journey.
What is Divine Feminine Energy?
The Divine Feminine is a form of energy that all beings possess. It is known by many names such as shakti, yin, and lunar energy, and is often connected symbolically with the moon, Gaia (Mother Earth), and water. Just like the Divine Masculine, it is ‘one half’ of the Spirit of Life.
Both the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine arise mutually, and in their most natural state, work together effortlessly and harmoniously. This original state of being can be observed as being represented in ancient symbols like the yin yang.
Why Masculine Energy is Destroying the Planet
When the Masculine and Feminine are out of balance, the natural result is chaos. So why is masculine energy destroying the planet? To answer this question, let’s briefly wind back time.
As an active force, the Divine Masculine is responsible for progress and evolution. Unlike feminine energy, it gets sh*t done in an efficient and orderly manner. As the nature of life is growth and change, we need that force, and we have needed it since the dawn of time.
But the shadow side of the Divine Masculine is its preoccupation with power. When masculine energy becomes corrupt, it results in the toxic patriarchal society we see today that is based on a foundational philosophy of “get, reject, use, and dominate.”
The consequence is a world full of racial, sexual, and religious intolerance; gender inequality; unrestrained materialism resulting in large-scale environmental decimation; raping and pillaging of the earth resulting in climate change that leads to huge natural disasters and social collapse … you name it.
Why has Divine Masculine energy “entered the dark side”? There are numerous theories, but mine is that Divine Masculine energy is, in essence, immature. It hasn’t ripened and is therefore like a wayward, nihilistic teenager still trying to figure out the ropes.
If all of life is a process of growth, of maturation, Divine Masculine energy still hasn’t evolved to its fullest potential. It’s still an awkward, self-conscious, and insecure force that has come to believe (like a naive child) that power comes from overshadowing others. But it doesn’t. What it has failed to learn up until now is that true power comes from within. True power is shown through the mature Divine Masculine acts of mercy, integrity, honesty, and accountability.
Similar to what the metaphysical Soul Age theory proposes (in short, that there are young, mature, and old souls), we could say that there is also young, mature, and old energy. And Divine Masculine energy is still in its teenage years – and perhaps not even that.
So where does that leave Divine Feminine energy?
Divine Feminine: Out of the Shadows, Into the Light
Like Divine Masculine energy, Divine Feminine energy, has, up until now, been immature.
By hiding in the shadows and forgetting her own power, the domineering shadow side of the Divine Masculine has been permitted to get out of control. Who has been there to consistently put him in his place? It takes two to tango. Neither one is “more” responsible for the annihilation of the planet than the other. Both have an equal hand in their own way.
We can picture this scenario by observing two children squabbling in the backyard. One of them – the little boy – is throwing a tantrum. “THAT’S MINE,” the little boy thunders aggressively, trying to intimidate the little girl into giving back his favorite toy. “But you said I could play with it,” the little girl sobs, running back to mommy or daddy in tears.
She plays the victim. He plays the persecutor. It’s an age-old dance. And it needs to end.
We are getting to a pivotal turning point in history where something needs to change. Our world – the very survival of our species and the spiritual evolution of our souls – depends on it. What is the solution?
The rise of the Divine Feminine.
We are seeing it more and more, with feminism, compassion for animals (resulting in more ethical eating choices), yoga, meditation, and even social media initiatives like the #metoo and #blacklivesmatter movements entering the mainstream.
But all things in life have a dark side – that is an intrinsic realization we must come to terms with on our spiritual journeys. We need to be aware of our shadow selves in order to move into the light.
The Shadow Side
With that being said, let’s break down the shadow side of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine:
Divine Feminine Shadow Side:
Divine Masculine Shadow Side:
Victim
Persecutor
Co-dependent
Cold detachment
Insecure
Controlling
Manipulative
Egotistical
Passive
Aggressive
Overly emotional
Emotionally numb
Acquiesce
Dominate
Inauthentic
Abusive
Cruel
Ruthless
Of course, no person has purely Divine Feminine OR Divine Masculine shadow qualities – we tend to have a mixture of both. It’s up to us to develop the self-awareness and humility needed to recognize what we unconsciously harbor within ourselves.
The Light Side
Now, let’s look at the light side of the Feminine and Masculine energies. We could also call this the mature, fully-actualized Divine Feminine and Masculine:
Divine Feminine Light Side:
Divine Masculine Light Side:
Intuitive
Mindful
Vulnerable
Accountable
Authentic
Integrity
Creative
Organized
Compassionate
Merciful
Inter-dependent
Independent
Open-minded
Non-judgmental
Tenacious
Courageous
Sensual
Sexual
Instinctual
Intellectual
Considerate
Impartial
Spontaneous
Strategic
Adaptable
Grounded
Will to love
Will to power
You might notice that many of these traits are actually quite neutral, and here’s where words have a limit.
All traits innate to the Divine Feminine and Masculine are neutral, it’s only when they come out of balance that they become an issue.
Being compassionate, for example, is a Divine Feminine trait that can either be positive or negative depending on how it’s used. When there’s too much compassion, there is self-martyrdom and co-dependency, and when there’s too little, there’s cruelty.
So, in essence, the “light” side of the Divine Feminine and Masculine is really only another way of saying the balanced side.
Benefits of Awakening the Divine Feminine
She is so bright and glorious that you cannot look at her face or her garments for the splendor with which she shines. For she is terrible with the terror of the avenging lightning, and gentle with the goodness of the bright sun; and both her terror and her gentleness are incomprehensible to humans … But she is with everyone and in everyone, and so beautiful is her secret that no person can know the sweetness with which she sustains people, and spares them in inscrutable mercy.
Hildegard von Bingen
No matter what gender (or lack thereof) you are, here’s what you can expect to experience once you commit to awakening the Divine Feminine within you:
Enhanced intuition (higher perception)
Sharpened gut instincts (animal perception)
More flexibility and spontaneity
Greater self-compassion
Increased love and acceptance of others
Connection with the Divine Creator within
More ability to enjoy the small things in life
Greater receptivity to yourself, others, and life
Increased ability to let go
Deeper comfort with the unknown and reduced anxiety
Heightened connection with your body and sensuality
Enhanced ability to relax, receive, and be
*Both women and men possess Divine Feminine energy – it is a neutral force*
9 Ways to Awaken the Divine Feminine Energy Within You
The deep Feminine, the mystery of consciousness, She who is life, is longing for our transformation as much as we are. She holds back, allowing us free reign to choose, nudging us occasionally with synchronicities, illness, births and deaths … But when we make space for Her, she rushes into all the gaps, engulfing us with her desire for life and expression. This is what She longs for, this is what we are for: experiencing the Feminine through ourselves. We simply need to slow down, and find where to put our conscious attention.
Lucy H. Pearce
To be whole and balanced beings, we need to honor both sides of our nature: the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine – also known in Jungian terms as the anima and animus.
But now, more than ever, we are all being called to awaken the Shakti within.
Males need to get over their immaturity surrounding femininity, and females need to step more into their power.
No matter whether you’re male, female, or non-binary… it’s your responsibility to create change within yourself. Only when we change ourselves can true change in the world happen.
Pointing fingers at one gender or group as being “responsible” for all world’s ills, being “less than” the other type of energy, and so forth, is infantile. We need to grow up and stop feeding our lower nature.
Don’t give fuel to your shadow self. Don’t perpetuate more division within this world. Learn how to awaken both types of energy within yourself in a healthy way.
So with that being said, here’s how to start this sacred inner work:
1. Connect with your inner Divine Mother
This might sound strange, but the reality is that we are composed of many subpersonalities. Psychiatrist Carl Jung called them “archetypes,” and more recently, psychotherapist Richard C. Schwartz (founder of Internal Family Systems) refers to them as “parts.”
The Mother is a universal part/archetype that can be found within all people of all genders. We see the Great Mother portrayed through the ages in numerous forms; as the Virgin Mary, Lakshmi, Isis, Sophia, Mother Nature, Kali – you name it.
So the question is, what does your inner Divine Mother look like?
I recommend connecting with this part of you through practices such as journaling, drawing/painting, automatic writing, dream work, and mirror work.
You might like to create or print out a picture that resembles your inner Divine Mother and put her somewhere important in your house. Let her inspire and remind you of the importance of honoring and connecting with the Divine Feminine.
2. Examine your wounds surrounding femininity
Examine the following questions:
What has society taught you about femininity as a male, female, or non-binary…?
How did your mother model her femininity and what did she teach you (whether directly or indirectly)?
What negative core beliefs might you have developed surrounding femininity?
What habits and behaviors do you bring into the world that indirectly or directly oppress the Divine Feminine?
Journal about these questions and do some self-reflection. Understanding how you truly feel about feminine energy – from all angles – is vital.
Often we carry old programming that impedes our growth and maturation. The only way to move through these blocks is to see right through them.
For example, common negative conditioned beliefs include the notion that women should always be pretty, good at everything, never age, have a perfect body, be submissive to men, be meek and emotionally-restrained, and please everyone. (There are many other negative ideas out there – these are just a few common examples.)
However, your personal wounds might be totally different.
For example, if you were raised with an engulfing helicopter mother, you might fear women and see them as fundamentally dangerous. If your mother was manic-depressive, you might unconsciously perceive all women to be chaotic, unsafe, and unreliable. Try to examine both your personal and wider societal context.
3. Tune into your emotions
How are you feeling? If you were brought up in the West, you’ll have more masculine-dominated values. You tend to ask people, “How are you doing?” rather than “How are you feeling?” We need to shift away from that mindset.
A person’s worth is not based on how much they do. In fact, a person’s worth isn’t externally based at all.
We need to start feeling things from the inside – this enables usto authentically learn more about ourselves and tune into our emotions. Getting to know our emotional landscape will empower us to develop self-love and self-compassion which are doorways into the Divine Feminine.
So stop right now and ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” (If you struggle to label your emotions, search for “emotions chart” on Google images and print one out.)
Are you feeling tired, moody, excited, intrigued, sad, nostalgic, disillusioned, surprised? Get into the habit of assigning a word to how you feel.
4. Cultivate your intuition
Intuition is a core Divine Feminine quality. Yet because so many of us live in our heads, we become disconnected from our hearts and souls (the source of our intuition!).
Sadly, the result is that most of us struggle to differentiate the voice of fear from intuition. Some of us even outright reject the value of intuition altogether!
To begin cultivating your intuition, try any of the following practices:
Begin meditating (this helps to silence your mind and allow intuitive flashes to emerge)
Experiment with oracle and tarot cards
Tune into your body through mindfulness exercises
Learn to understand the meaning of your dreams
5. Find a feminine teacher/guide/figure you admire
We all need role models, and finding a mature and embodied woman is a powerful way of tuning into the Divine Feminine. Fortunately, there are many beautiful expressions of the Divine Feminine out there.
You can begin your search in a friend or family circle, and extend it to authors, artists, therapists/counselors, historical and religious icons, and modern feminine figures. Once you’ve found someone (or a few teachers) you admire, put a picture of them somewhere special to honor the Divine Feminine.
Remember, the whole point of finding a feminine teacher/guide/figure that you admire is to learn from them. Please don’t idolize them or give away your power. Simply respect and appreciate them and make sure you integrate the lessons offered to you.
6. Slow down and be present
Masculine energy is all about do-do-do. But feminine energy is about being receptive, passive, and living in the moment.
We don’t always need to achieve something. So make some time during the day to slow down and be present. Try to enjoy the little things and practice being grateful. You may even like to keep a gratitude journal – or if you’re into poetry, a place where you write poetry in appreciation of life’s small pleasures.
Slowing down, for instance, could be as simple as turning off your phone and going outside to enjoy the sunset. Or it could mean saying “no” to that extra task your colleague wants you to finish by Friday.
While slowing down is difficult at first, keep at it. Your brain has likely been wired to be on the “doing” frequency all the time rather than in the being state of mind. So be forgiving and patient (two more Divine Feminine qualities!) and don’t give up. Even if slowing down needs to be scheduled into your day, make sure it’s a priority.
7. Practice self-love and inner child work
A crucial part of the spiritual path involves learning how to love yourself and healing your inner child. By learning how to love yourself, you are better equipped to show true compassion to others. What better ways to awaken the Divine Feminine within you!?
Self-love and inner child work go hand-in-hand, but before going too deep into inner child work, I recommend starting with self-love. Self-love is truly the foundation of all inner work because, without it, it’s possible to re-traumatize our already-wounded inner child.
To begin self-love, one of the most powerful practices is something called mirror work. Essentially, this practice involves standing in front of your household mirror every day and repeating loving words to yourself. These affirmations might include, “I see you,” “I value you,” “I forgive you,” “I’m here for you,” or whatever loving statement comes from your heart.
8. Connect more deeply with your body
The Divine Feminine is a sensual, visceral force that is at the heart of all life. She is the one who gives birth to all existence, tends it, and nurtures it: all very raw and instinctual processes.
To honor the yin energy within you, connect with your body. Learn its language. Discover more about what it means to be embodied in this life as a spiritual being. This might take many forms, for example:
Learning bodywork and breathwork
Uncovering the meaning behind your muscle tension
Practicing body-centered mindfulness
Exploring your sensual nature (honoring the pleasures of the body such as eating, sleeping, relaxing…)
Taking care of your basic bodily needs (e.g., getting good quality nutrition, water, sleep, digestion, etc.) by learning self-care
9. Honor, protect, and celebrate Mother Earth
As the physical embodiment of the Divine Feminine, the earth is our ultimate provider. She sustains us, protects us, and allows us to flourish.
We are birthed within her, and we will die within her. And each and every day, she has endless reminders to share with us that reflect the Divinity, joy, beauty, and love inherent in life.
Connecting with Mother Earth is simple: go outside! Enjoy the trees, the wind, the clouds, the rain, the flowers, the sunshine, the soil – all of it. Be in a state of appreciation for her. But don’t let it stop there.
To truly honor Mother Earth is to respect her through our actions. By committing to a sustainable, low-waste, and ethical way of living, we are putting our head where our heart is. We don’t need to be perfect. We can’t be. But we can do our best, understanding that no matter how many mistakes we make, we are loved.
Takeaway
Our spiritual paths, our choices, our very lives are not separate from the greater Whole.
Learning how to reconnect with the Divine Feminine is a vital and desperately needed part of embracing both our humanity and divinity. No authentic growth or progression can be made without cultivating the yin, the Shakti within us. Our minds, our bodies, our children, our communities, our world are all crying for the rise of the Divine Feminine.
What is your relationship like with the Divine Feminine? Do you have any advice to share? Let yourself be heard below.
Instincts, gut feelings, hunches, premonitions … all of these words point to a deep capacity that we all carry inside known as intuition.
The word intuition originally came from the Latin word intueri, which meant “to contemplate” or “to look within.”
Without learning how to look and listen to our intuition, we tend to rely solely on the limited rational mind or external input from others, which can quickly lead us astray.
Many scientists and researchers are now referring to intuition as the highest form of intelligence we possess.
In other words, intuition is no longer limited to the new age world of magical thought; it is increasingly being seen as a legitimate way to make judgments and decisions.
Unsurprisingly, spiritual traditions for thousands of years have all known and revered the powers of intuition.
Buddhist, Islamic, Hindu, and Western philosophy have all connected intuition with planes of higher consciousness or the Soul. The Advaita Vedānta for example (a school of Hindu thought) values intuition as an experience through which a person can contact and experience Brahman (Spirit/God).
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung also believed that intuition is a powerful force, once writing,
Intuition gives outlook and insight; it revels in the garden of magical possibilities.
Personally, I see intuition as the “Soul’s GPS” which can help us to discover our life purpose, make wise decisions, and lead fulfilling lives.
What is Intuition?
Intuition is a sudden and inexplicable feeling that arises within us. Also referred to as the instinct, sixth sense, inkling, hunch, and gut feeling, intuition is the mysterious force that guides, protects, and informs us.
The information we receive from our intuition is not usually available from our conscious mind and thus stems from the unconscious.
What common ways do we experience intuition?
Usually, intuition emerges as a quiet inner voice or feeling that tells us to take this chance, go down that path, accept that opportunity, open this door, and so on.
Intuition can also manifest as various synchronicities or messages from one’s spirit guides to signal that we’re on the right road.
Furthermore, intuition also tells us what not to do, what to be careful of, when to be vigilant, and when to stop what we’re doing.
How Does Intuition Arise?
Intuition is associated with the right side of the brain which is responsible for creativity, imagination, musical and artistic aptitude, and emotions.
The left side of the brain, on the other hand, is connected with logic, reasoning, and critical thinking (we tend to favor the left brain over the right brain in the West).
Intuition stems from that nonlinear dimension of our minds, that part where unconscious connections and associations are made and arise within our conscious minds seemingly out of nowhere.
As Joseph Murphy, author of The Power of Your Unconscious Mind notes:
Within your subconscious depths lie infinite wisdom, infinite power, and infinite supply of all that is necessary, which is waiting for development and expression.
Intuition is an amazingly powerful tool – a natural gift of our biology that is ready and available to us at any time.
However, sadly, the gift of intuition is often ignored and forgotten by us humans. Thankfully, there are so many exhilarating ways of learning how to tap into this inner wellspring of wisdom again!
Intuition and Spiritual Awakening
Intuition is an innate quality we all possess. Yet many of us don’t recognize how vital it is until we’ve gone through some kind of life crisis or spark of spiritual awakening.
Without our intuition, we feel adrift in life. We lack a sense of inner centeredness – of spiritual direction and Soul-centered insight.
In some ways, we feel empty and bereft without this sacred heart voice.
Indeed, our intuition is a direct line to our Higher Self that offers us all the spiritual guidance we need in this life.
Why Learning to Trust Your Intuition is Powerful (and a Little Intimidating!)
Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.
M. L’Engle
All throughout history people have listened closely to the whispers of their intuition.
From Dr. Loewi’s intuitive discovery of the chemical transmission of nerve impulses, and Elias Howe’s invention of the sewing machine, to Isaac Newton’s theory of gravity, many great strides in existence have been attributed to spontaneous sparks of intuition.
But why should we pay attention to our intuition?
I mean … it’s not like we’re planning on becoming world-famous physicists or inventors, right? Wrong. You don’t need to strive to do or be anything extraordinary. Intuition is very down-to-earth and can help us in any area of life!
Here’s why learning to trust our intuition is so powerful:
1. Intuition reveals deep truths in our lives
Intuition helps us develop a deeper level of understanding and insight about ourselves, other people, and life at large. The result is that we feel more intelligently and intentionally guided in our thoughts, feelings, and decisions.
2. Intuition helps us identify negative omens in our lives
Failure, financial collapse, death, emotional threat – intuition puts us in touch with our instinctive defense systems, helping us to avoid harm. (By the way, how eerie but cool is that!)
3. Intuition opens new paths to us
By helping us to tune into fresh opportunities and positive signs in our lives, intuition opens new doors when we least expect it – it’s quite magical.
4. Intuition guides us and helps us to make wise decisions
By allowing us to know what decisions to make and when, intuition helps us to achieve a measure of confidence and peace of mind, assisting us in following paths that are true to ourselves: paths with heart.
5. Intuition helps us to live fulfilling lives
Truth hurts, but truth also helps us to wake up to the false, corrupted, and delusional lives that we sometimes lead and the wayward choices we occasionally make. Ultimately, intuition is a bringer of truth and thus a bringer of change and transformation. When we listen to it, we make decisions that ultimately help our lives to be genuine and fulfilling.
How to Distinguish Fearful Thoughts From Intuition
I sometimes FEEL that I am right. I do not KNOW that I am.
Albert Einstein
Unfortunately, it’s very common for us to confuse the voice of intuition with the voice of fear.
For us to make the most intelligent, successful, wise, loving, and meaningful decisions in our lives, we need to learn how to make a clear distinction between the two.
As a person who has a very strong “inner skeptic,” it has been difficult for me to loosen my rational brain in favor of my intuition. As one given to overthinking, my mental voice has always been quite strong and persistent. I’m sure you have struggled with this to some extent too.
What helped me to distinguish fearful thoughts from intuitive guidance was to pay attention to how each inner voice felt in my body.
Here are some main differences between fear and intuition.
Fear:
Feels heavy and dark
Emotionally-charged (e.g., “I need to do this or else ____ will happen!!”)
Vague
Makes you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, confused or anxious
Causes you to ruminate and get lost in cycles of thought
Intuition:
Feels light
Unemotional
Crystal clear
Makes you feel calm, inspired, and a sense of resolution
Spontaneously arises and immediately feels “right” without further rational thought
By paying attention to these signs, you will slowly be able to distinguish paranoid thinking from neutral and intuitive knowing.
How to Trust Your Intuition (9 Ways)
Intuition means exactly what it sounds like, in-tuition! An inner tutor or teaching and learning mechanism that takes us forward daily. It is a resource that, where recognized, has infinite potential.
Sylvia Clare
Intuition is an essential life skill that we must all learn to refine and develop, preferably sooner rather than later.
Without intuition, we get stranded in labyrinths of rigid, agitated, or obsessive thoughts that limit our capacity to see clearly. The less clearly we can see, the more likely we will make bad decisions.
When we listen to our intuition, we experience a kind of clarity that helps us to make the most beneficial choices for our lives.
We can learn how to trust our intuition in nine main ways:
Silence your mind
Ask yourself, “How do I feel about this decision?”
Focus on the sensations in your body
Explore whether fear is fuelling you
Formulate your conclusion, and live both scenarios
Don’t allow pressure to bias you
Ask for guidance
Develop more self-awareness
Clear your third eye chakra
Below I’ll explore each of these points more in-depth to help you learn how to trust your intuition more easily:
1. Silence your mind
Often the mind tends to hijack our decision-making processes.
While it is important that you use rational thought, your usual thinking is often subject to prejudice, past beliefs, external influences (“peer pressure”), and fear.
To access your intuition, you need to clear your mind of thought. In order to clear your mind, I recommend that you meditate, listen to some relaxing music, or focus on mindful breathwork techniques.
It is amazingly difficult to listen to your intuition when you’re in a stressed-out state of mind!
For example, you might like to try breathing deeply for a few minutes. Breathe in through your nose and allow your belly and chest to gently expand. Then, slow your breath to the count of four and breathe in slowly for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds.
Try doing any practice that relaxes and stills your mind. Only once you are calm and centered can you accurately access your intuitive power.
2. Ask yourself, “How do I feel about this decision?”
Once you’ve relaxed your mind and body, inwardly ask yourself, “How do I feel about this decision/situation/person?”
Notice the first feeling, sensation, word, or image that arises within you. Don’t overthink it! Your first impression is generally the most accurate, so stick with whatever that was.
You might like to write down whatever appears and reflect on it some more.
3. Focus on the sensations in your body
Our bodies are like exquisitely accurate truth radars that alert us to the full scope of pleasure, pain, and everything in between. It’s for this reason that connecting with your body is a powerful way to learn how to trust your intuition.
No matter how elaborate the stories or theories our minds create are, our bodies will always reveal the truth of the matter!
In order to connect with your intuition, try thinking about something weighing on you like an important decision, and focus on your body’s response.
For example, if you want to quit your job, you might notice a sensation of relief flood your entire body (which is a sign that you should quit your job!).
Alternatively, if you’re thinking of moving to a certain town, you might feel your shoulders and neck tense up (which is likely a clear sign that you shouldn’t move there!).
By practicing body-centered mindfulness, you’ll be able to connect more freely with your intuition.
4. Explore whether fear is fuelling you
Fear has a sneaky way of disguising itself as intuition.
When we’re fearful, we tend to make rash decisions or believe that we’re “following our intuition” because of how strong the mental voice inside us can become.
When you’re faced with an important decision, try writing down all of your fears surrounding the situation on a piece of paper. This simple activity will help you to create more inner space and clarity – and learn to trust your intuition more.
By making your fears visible, you’ll be able to determine whether the voice within you is driven by fear or clear intuitive knowing.
5. Formulate your conclusion and live both scenarios
Another way you can learn how to trust your intuition more is to come up with a range of solutions to the problem at hand and mentally live out each scenario.
Visualize each choice as vividly as you can, then pay attention to how each option feels in your heart and body. Whichever option feels the most “right” is the choice you need to go for.
For instance, if you’re trying to decide whether to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone, your solutions may be the following:
Have the conversation over dinner
Delay the conversation to next week
Bring up the conversation casually
Avoid the conversation until it’s necessary
You’d then visualize each scenario and notice how you feel. Whichever one you feel intuitively drawn toward (even if your mind doesn’t like it) is the right path to take.
6. Don’t allow pressure to bias you
Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself? The pressure to make a “quick decision” tends to inhibit the flow of intuition.
While intuition can work under strenuous circumstances, if you have the option to slow down, please do.
Just because you aren’t obsessing over something consciously doesn’t mean that the thought isn’t bubbling in your subconscious mind.
Sometimes putting decision-making on the “back burner” helps you to relax, adopt new perspectives, and open more easily to the presence of your intuitive knowing.
As such, sometimes, in order to trust your intuition and know that you’re walking the correct path, you just need to take a step back for a while.
7. Ask for guidance
Intuition is seeing with the soul.
Dean Koontz
When I struggle to access my intuition, I say a prayer of guidance asking my Soul for support.
If you’re struggling with accessing your intuition, say a small prayer to whomever or whatever you believe in (e.g., your Higher Self, Soul, Spirit, God, Allah).
You don’t need to be religious to pray. Prayer is essentially condensed energy or directed intention which helps you to focus your willpower. Saying a prayer is a powerful way to enhance your intuitive prowess.
8. Develop more self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to be aware of your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors and the way in which they impact you and the people around you.
The more aware we are of what goes on inside of ourselves, the easier it will be to identify the quiet voice of our intuition in the first place.
Mindfulness, meditation, and introspection all assist in developing self-awareness. However, for an easy way to begin to trust your intuition, start journaling. Learning how to journal is a relaxing and grounding way of getting to know yourself more.
9. Clear your third eye chakra
If you resonate with chakra healing, focus on balancing your third eye chakra, which is the center of your intuitive abilities.
If you struggle with problems such as negative thinking patterns, over-thinking, paranoia or anxiety, you most likely have a third eye chakra problem.
Intuition FAQ
There are so many facets involved in learning how to trust your intuition. If you’re still in need of guidance, the following Q&A’s might help:
Can your intuition be wrong?
This is a tricky question to answer, but in short, pure intuition is never wrong. But intuition that is tainted by thoughts can be wrong. As intuition stems from the unconscious and universal mind (also known as the ‘Collective Unconscious’) that has access to a tremendous amount of information, the insights it relays are far more accurate than pure rational thinking. When intuition is clouded and foggy, it’s more likely for it to be wrong or misguided. This is why learning how to distinguish the voice of fear from the voice of intuition is crucial.
What does intuition feel like?
The feeling of intuition varies for everyone. For some people, it will be very physical. It’s common, for example, to experience tingles down the spine, a rush of energy, goosebumps, a pit in the stomach, and so on. Others experience intuition as something more mental. For instance, some people get visual flashes (such as premonitions or visions) and others get a quiet (and in some instances loud!) inner voice arising within them.
What is an example of intuition?
There are endless examples of intuition out there. Intuition, for example, can arise in moments before a crisis directing a person to do/not do something that can have dire life or death consequences. Many individuals have intuitive feelings of dread or joy before making big life decisions. Intuition can also emerge in everyday situations such as what present to buy someone, what’s really wrong with your partner or best friend (“something doesn’t feel right”), and what route to take to work.
Is everyone intuitive?
Yes, everyone has the capacity to be intuitive. It’s just a matter of learning how to tap into your unconscious mind. While intuition might come more easily to some, it’s ultimately a skill that needs to be honed and developed.
Intuition is a small glimpse into the enormous magnitude of wisdom and intelligence possessed by your largely secret and untapped unconscious mind.
By learning how to silence your mind, connect with your body, identify fearful thoughts, and clear energy blockages, you’ll find it easier to access your intuition in any life circumstance.
I hope this article has helped to give you more insight and guidance on how to trust your intuition. Please share any tips you have for trusting intuition below!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Think of a current problem upsetting you right now. It may be related to a relationship, your finances, career, health, or otherwise. Try to get a sense of how it is affecting you, while distancing yourself from the mental chatter. The idea of acceptance is difficult to grasp for many because people believe it implies resignation or apathy. In fact, acceptance means letting go of worry, fear, anger and negative emotions and choosing peace instead. Often, what we experience isn’t the real cause of our suffering, as much as our thoughts about it. And since we cannot control our thoughts, we try desperately to make sense of what is taking place.
Can you identify with this regarding your experience? Because we are close to the experience, the pain feels real, and regrettably, we get caught up in negative thoughts and emotions. The good news is, there are several therapies such as ACT and CBT that focus on accepting our thoughts and learning to diffuse them. The premise underlying any unpleasant experiences is learning to accept our thoughts, which neutralizes our pain and suffering. This is because our thoughts are saboteurs that convince us things are more distressing than they are (known as catastrophizing). It is by better understanding the thinking process, we realize that thoughts come and go from our mind and there’s no use giving them more energy.
Acceptance allows you the freedom to be yourself, because when we’re consumed by pain and suffering, we are not our true selves. Have you experienced this before of not inhabiting your body but controlled by your thoughts and emotions? When we accept things as they are, we develop greater psychological flexibility and what happens is aligned for our greater good. Now, let me be clear, I am not saying we should accept any form of harassment, abuse, bullying, hatred, criminal acts of violence, etc. I am saying, to ease our pain and suffering, we must accept the situation as it is, even though we may not like what is happening. Acceptance opens the door to our healing, which should be our priority over feeling good in the interim. Can you see where I’m coming from? Our long-term wellbeing should take priority over feeling good in the meantime. Healing means developing a new lens in which to view our circumstances, instead of being caught up in negativity.
When we heal, we align with our authentic nature instead of being governed by fleeting thoughts and emotions. Healing is a journey into oneself to discover the true essence of who we are. It is not meant to be a pleasant experience and sometimes can be more painful than the initial wounds. But we must take that journey if we want to live authentically, otherwise we will continually run into problems. Sometimes, it is difficult because we may not be ready for what lies ahead. Here’s the good and bad news: No one has their affairs in order. I’m yet to meet a single person free of emotional wounds and whose thoughts are peaceful and harmonious. Each of us is afflicted by some form of mental and emotional suffering, and we’re all trying to find our way in the world. Some of us are doing a better job than others, but it doesn’t mean we cannot find our way.
Is this beginning to make sense, that acceptance leads to peace and harmony and the freedom to be yourself? If you sense resistance to what I’m saying, put the advice into practice. Do the healing work and test the strength of my statements. Non-acceptance is resistance, and as you know, what we resist persists. Even unfortunate experiences can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves.
What are you resisting through your current experience?
What is behind your resistance? What are you choosing not to see?
What are you believing about this? Is it serving you?
Who would you be without the story?
What does the vulnerable place within you want you to know? What does it need you to understand?
Take your time and connect with your wise self as you answer them, since there may be hidden gems contained within them. Go deeper into the core of your being to discover why these experiences are affecting you. It is once we accept all that is that we find true freedom to be ourselves once more.
